The Green Files
by The Lady Bonny
Summary: You know he is a Titan called Beast Boy but his real name is Garfield. You know he is green and tells jokes. You know there must be more to him than that...and you're right. A series of drabbles and oneshots about Beast Boy.
1. Beginnings

A/N: While looking around DeviantART, I noticed some artists doing a 100 Words series. They took a list of 100 words, chose a fandom or central topic, and then drew pictures of the fandom/topic to correspond with the word. I liked the idea but since I have no artistic ability, I decided to write instead. As you can probably tell from the title, my chosen topic is Beast Boy. The oneshots posted here will be centered on him in some form or fashion, although they may not always be told from his point of view. Also, as I am a shipper, some stories might contain subtle or not-so-subtle evidence of R/BB.

Please read and review. I am always looking to improve my writing but I need your help to do so. Feel free to tell me what you liked anddidn't like or what I could do better.

And, with that, the obnoxiously long author's note ends. Happy reading, all!

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.

001. Beginnings

Gar had been scared she would be mad at him. He had disobeyed her when she told him to run, after all. Past experiences told him that disobeying his parents meant trouble for him.

And then to make matters worse, he'd…changed.

Gar didn't remember much of what happened. He remembered seeing the frightened look on his mother's face as the black mamba hissed and hearing her urgently tell him to slowly back away. Then the snake got closer and Mama said to run, to go get Daddy and Chief Tawaba.

But Gar didn't want to leave her alone. His father had always said that, when dealing with wild animals, you were supposed to have a buddy with you. That way, you would be safer. So, as his mother's buddy, Gar knew it was up to him to keep her safe. He had to protect her from the mamba.

The last clear memory he had was of the story Daddy had read the night before, Riki Tiki Tavi, and how the mongoose had fought the snake to save the little boy…

Things were blurry after that. The black mamba hissed again and struck. Mama screamed. He was suddenly looking at a pair of small, dark eyes. A flurry of movement. Hissing. A realization that he had to get to the neck. The texture of something pebbly on his tongue before a horrible metal-like taste filled his mouth. More screaming but it was at him.

"Gar! Garfield!"

Then he was somehow in his father's arms. Then there was nothing.

Much later, Gar woke up in his bed. Someone had changed him into his favorite Superman pajamas.

His parents and Chief Tawaba were watching him. They looked worried and asked how he felt but smiled a little when he said he was hungry. Then Gar asked what had happened. Daddy hugged him and explained that the virus—the one he'd gotten after the monkey bit him—had done more than just turn his skin green.

"You can change into animals, Gar," Daddy said. "That's how you saved your mother. You turned yourself into a mongoose."

Gar was surprised, to say the least. As far as he knew, no one else could turn into animals but then again, he didn't know anyone else who was completely green.

"I can be a animal? Any animal?" Gar asked excitedly.

"We don't know yet. Maybe," Mama answered.

"Cool!" Gar exclaimed, pumping his small fist in the air.

But then he noticed the looks on his parents' faces. They didn't look as happy as he was about the news. They looked scared. Mama even looked like she was about to cry.

"I'm sorry," Gar said, feeling like he was about to cry himself. "I won't do it again, promise."

But then Mama scooped him up and hugged him for a long time, saying that he hadn't done anything wrong. They weren't sure why he could change into animals—but it wasn't bad that he could. Chief Tawaba even said that it was a gift, one to be proud of.

The thought of his parents being proud of him cheered Gar up, and he asked his mother if she was.

She smiled down at him and said she was. She called him her little hero.

"Hero," he echoed. He looked down on at his pajamas. "Like Superman?"

"Yes, Gar," She told him, brushing green hair from green eyes. "Just like Superman."


	2. Choices

A/N: This takes place at the beginning of Homecoming, Part 1. I know the scene in that episode wasn't this detailed but I'm expounding on it.

To the reviewers…wow. Just wow and thank you so much. I wish I could answer you individually but I think I remember a rule against that. I'll check on that and hopefully I'm wrong so I can answer. To the people who mentioned the grammatical mistakes I made in the last chapter (especially the person who was so specific about them. I thought I had fixed the hero part but I must have missed it), thank you even more. I promise I'll go back and fix those once I become a little more familiar with the way FFN works. Please keep letting me know what you think and how I can improve.

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.

086. Choices

Raven was right—the arguing was pointless. Beast Boy already knew what he was going to have to do.

"I said, I'll go!" He shouted over all of them, causing all eyes to finally focus on him. Robin tried to talk him out of it, Cyborg sputtered in disbelief, and Starfire looked upset. Raven seemed to have already known what his choice would be. That didn't mean she liked it, though, and her eyes told him so.

"Doom Patrol, move out!" Mento called and his team immediately followed him into the jungle. No one looked back but that was the Doom Patrol rule: don't look back.

But just because he was going with his own team didn't mean he wasn't a Titan. So Beast Boy did look back.

They were watching him. Robin's jaw was clenched tightly but he had a comforting hand on Starfire's shoulder; the Tamarean princess was nearly in tears. Cyborg was almost seething with frustration, and it seemed to be taking every iota of his self-control to keep from dragging his green friend back.

Raven was as cool and stoic as the day they first met. Her eyes, though, had always been a different story. They burned into him now, full of anger and something a lot like worry, and Beast Boy had to look away.

"Don't worry, guys," he said with a weak grin and thumbs up. "I'll be fine."

Yet as he turned and ran after Mento and the others, Beast Boy was almost certain he had lied to them.

And he was sure they knew it, too.


	3. Green

A/N: Thank you again to all those who reviewed the last chapter. You have no idea how much I appreciate your feedback. A few people said the last one was very short so I wanted to explain that some oneshots will be fairly short but others will be pretty long. I want to say enough that it's a good story but not so much that I'm spewing word vomit because, really, who likes word vomit? Let me know if I'm writing so little that it makes a chapter hard to understand, though.

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.

014. Green

He knew he shouldn't have been in Cyborg's room—not after the solemn vow he had made after the Mega Monkeys 4 incident to never step foot into it again —but Cyborg was partly to blame. His mechanized friend should have known better than to make another pair of those rings in secret and then tell the green changeling about it.

Because now curiosity had gotten the better of Beast Boy, and he _had_ to know. So he snuck into Cyborg's room while the metal man was out and took the rings. After an hour of just looking from the rings to his reflection and back, Beast Boy finally worked up the courage (or maybe it was cowardice) to put them on.

That was why, yet another hour later, he was still standing in front of the bathroom mirror, staring and trying to decide whether it would be more appropriate to laugh at the absurdity of the situation or cry because of the painful throbbing in his chest.

He looked so much like his father, so much that he felt tears as he saw his reflection. Sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He remembered his former hair color but not his eyes. He had thought that they had always been green but now he saw they were the same blue as his father's had been. Cobalt, his mother had called them once. Cobalt blue.

So this is who he would have been. _Who I _should_ have been_, he almost bitterly thought to himself as he fingered his light-colored hair. He was almost sure it felt a little softer than normal but wondered if that was only because he thought it should _feel_ as different as it _looked_.

The sound of the door opening jerked him from his thoughts, and he gave a startled yelp before fumbling to get the rings off his fingers.

"Beast…Boy?"

The voice froze him for a moment. Slowly and with a feeling of impending doom, Beast Boy turned around to face the person in the doorway.

Stricken blue eyes met surprised violet ones.

"Uh…hi, Raven," Beast Boy mumbled. "I…uh…well, you see…um…"

"You need to remember to lock the bathroom door," Raven calmly informed him, having quickly recovered from her initial shock. "This could have been embarrassing."

Beast Boy blinked.

Raven gently shut the door behind her. "So I would ask what you were doing but it seems pretty obvious."

The young man before her held her gaze a moment longer before looking away entirely. "I just…I wanted to know what I would have looked like. Who would I have been if I had been Garfield Logan," he explained.

Raven raised an eyebrow. Moving to stand directly in front of him, she studied him for a long moment, looking him up and down. Beast Boy felt his cheeks heat up. Due to his fair skin, the blush was extremely noticeable.

Then without warning, she grabbed his wrist and gently but quickly one of the rings off.

The effect was immediate. The blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy in the mirror disappeared and the completely green Beast Boy was left standing in his place. He didn't know if he felt disappointed or relieved to be looking at his usual self.

But there was a tiny smirk on Raven's face.

"There," she said. "Much better."

"You think?" Beast Boy asked skeptically. He eyed the ring in her hand. "Isn't the green a little—well, a lot overwhelming?"

Raven shrugged slightly. "Maybe. But it's who you are."

She put two fingers under his chin and raised his head up so his eyes would be focused on hers. "And personally, I like Beast Boy."

They were silent for a moment as Beast Boy savored both the surprising warmth of her touch and her words. "What about Gar?" he asked quietly even as a smile worked itself onto his face.

Raven smirked again and dropping her hand back down to grasp his wrist, she led him out of the bathroom. "Last time I checked, you two were the same person."


	4. Enemies

A/N: Once again, thank you to all or you who reviewed. I'm glad people seem to be enjoying what I write, and I truly appreciate the feedback. Unfortunately, I'm going to be out of town for the next few days so I'm posting two oneshots now, one semi-long (this one) and the other really long, by my standards at least. I hope you enjoy them and don't worry, I plan to be writing while I'm gone.

This oneshot takes place at the end of Aftershock, Part 1. Like in _Choices_, I am elaborating on what took place in this episode. I'm also not trying to bash Terra here. I really do like her character, and I see a lot of myself in her.

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans but man, do I wish I did.

022. Enemies

She looked down at him as he struggled for a better grip. "Hope you're not expecting a goodbye kiss."

No. No, this wasn't happening. This couldn't happen. She couldn't do this. The Terra he knew—the happy, daring, funny, lonely, sweet Terra he was half in love with—would not do this. Especially not to him.

Then why was he so sad?

"Terra, you can't," Beast Boy whispered pleadingly, looking up at her and hoping to see something of the girl he knew in her blue eyes.

But her eyes weren't blue anymore. They were gold and glowing with hatred as if he were her…

Her enemy.

"_Slade was right. You don't have any friends."_

He closed his eyes against the sudden stinging in them as wave of despair washed over him. A chill settled in his very bones. He wasn't going to get out of this. He was going to die here in this cavern and by her hand. His friends were going to die, too,if they weren't already dead now.

His eyes opened just in time to see Terra lean down with a vengeful smirk on her pretty face. "Watch me."

Then he was falling, shouting her name and falling into black nothingness. Too tired to change and hurting so, so very much, Beast Boy prayed the gold-eyed monster above him would not be the last thing he ever saw. That would just be too cruel.

* * *

There was dull pain in his back and head but his neck ached sharply. Something was buzzing around him, turning from vague noises to actual words.

"…waking up."

"Thank X'hal."

"C'mon, little man, c'mon back."

Beast Boy opened his eyes. The shapes hovering over him slowly came into focus. The lighting was dim but he would have known their faces anywhere. His friends. They were alive. Did that mean he was, too?

"'M not dead?" he asked. His voice was raspier than usual, and he found it actually was painful to speak.

Cyborg gave him a shaky smile. "Not quite, bro. When you hit the ground, your neck…but Raven found you. She fixed you up."

Beast Boy sat up and looked at the violet-haired empath. "Thanks," he whispered, trying but not quite succeeding at his trademark grin.

Raven nodded only once, briskly and business-like, but he knew she was glad to see him awake.

Slowly and with a hand from Cyborg, the green young man got to his feet. He rubbed his throbbing but intact neck and looked around at his friends. Cyborg's metallic plating was dirty and slightly dented, probably from the fall. Starfire was damp and shivering. Raven was blotted with mostly dried mud. Robin's face was bruised and his uniform was torn. They all looked rough and beaten.

But they were alive.

"What do we do now?" Beast Boy asked. "Terra…" There was no need for him to finish the sentence, which was good because the sudden burst of fury within him would have prevented him from speaking anyway.

Cyborg nodded at his best friend. "No more chances."

Starfire's eyes glowed a furious green. "No more trust."

"And no more mercy," Raven finished, a hint of red eyes flashing on her forehead.

Anger rushed through his veins like adrenaline. She had broken his trust and his heart. She had tried to kill his friends, and she had almost killed him. She had joined forces with the Titans' greatest enemy and taken over their home. It hurt to believe it but the Terra he knew was gone. All that was left was an enemy.

"She's just another criminal," Beast Boy growled.

Robin was right—no matter what, Terra had to be stopped. And if Beast Boy had anything to say about it…

…he would be the one to stop her.


	5. Years

A/N: After watching _How Long is Forever_, I kept wondering how it was that Beast Boy ended up as he did. How did such a happy-go-lucky person become a terrified guy hiding in a cage? What made him lower himself to sucha degree? It was said that he'd tried to be a solo hero for a while before joining the circus but I thought there had to be more to it than that. I doubt someone like BB would just give up because he got his butt kicked a few times. So this was my attempt to bridge the twenty years between Starfire's disappearance to right before the episode began and show what happened to Beast Boy during that time.

If you like to listen to music while you read, I suggest listening to Johnny Cash's _Hurt_. It fits rather well.

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.

010. Years

The Amazing One Man Zoo.

Freakish Wonder.

He had been on his own for almost twenty years, and this was all he had to show for it? A metal cage, a demoralizing job, a gut, and a cowardice streak so long he thought if it were a physical mark it would attract more customers than his powers ever could?

He was almost thankful his parents and the Doom Patrol were gone because the thought of them knowing what he was now was more than he could stand. Of course, he felt even worse thinking in such a way, feeling grateful that people he had loved were dead.

_My God, Logan, could you be any more pathetic?_ His conscience asked him.

_Probably not_, he replied.

Most of the time, Garfield Logan lived in fear of the outside world and its inhabitants. After all, he had spent his entire life being ridiculed and sneered at by almost everyone he had ever encountered. Underneath that terror, however, were strong currents of self-loathing and despair. It wasn't often but sometimes Garfield let go of the fear for a while so he could absolutely despise what he had become.

He couldn't even call himself Beast Boy now. He hated that he was smearing the name his parents had given him but the person who was Beast Boy didn't exist anymore so he couldn't call himself that. He hadn't been able to since he hired himself out to the godforsaken circus he now called home. That was the name of a promising young hero, a person with a bright future, loyal friends, and a reasonable amount of self-respect. Even after the Titans, when he was patrolling Jump City on his own, he at least deserved the alias then because he was still trying to do the right thing. There had been some shred of decency in him back then, back when he kept trying to stop the bad guys even though there didn't seem to be any good guys left.

Back when he thought that Cyborg would eventually find a way to recharge his battery and find a life outside of just making robotic spiders.

Back when he was sure Robin—or Nightwing, as he now liked to be called—would leave Bludhaven and reform the Titans.

Back when he believed that if he just tried hard enough, he could reach Raven through her clouded mind and help her become her wonderful, sarcastic self again.

Back when he was certain that someday soon, Starfire would walk back through the door and end this dreary nightmare.

Back when there was hope that somehow, someway life would get better, and he would remember how to smile again.

He had never found hoping so hard before then. At one time, he was the one to cheer everyone up, to remind them of the silver lining and humor in every situation. That had been his job, his purpose on the team. But the team didn't exist anymore. The world—his world—had changed and for the first time Beast Boy didn't know if everything was going to turn out right.

But he held on. He continued to fight to protect his city, to encourage Cyborg to find another battery source, to try to bring the Raven he knew back, to believe that Nightwing would resurrect the Titans, to trust that Starfire would return.

He might have been able to keep those certainties and beliefs and hopes, too, if he hadn't received word of the Doom Patrol's defeat. A guy calling himself Kid Flash had appeared in the Tower one day with a note to Beast Boy from the Justice League. At first, Beast Boy had been ecstatic, thinking it was news that they were sending more young heroes to help defend the city or that Starfire had been found. Something good, he had thought, because he needed to know there was still some left in the world.

And then he read the four sentences on the piece of paper—_Mr. Logan, we regret to inform you of the deaths of the Doom Patrol. Steve Dayton, Rita Farr, Cliff Steele, and Larry Trainor were killed on a recent mission. We are currently working to track down their murderers and bring them to justice. Please accept our deepest sympathies_.—and found that there was no more good left. Then and there, with a Justice League message clutched in his hands and the last piece of his life shattered, he gave up. The promising, hopeful young man known as Beast Boy died, and a broken guy called Garfield Logan took his place.

Kid Flash was obviously sympathetic and had offered to hang around a while to help Beast Boy clean up the city but Garfield told him not to waste his time.

"There's nothing left here to save," he said.

After that, Garfield left the Tower and joined up with the circus. That had been nearly…was it fifteen years ago or sixteen? The years seemed to have blurred together and formed one large mass of pain, regret, and shame. For so long, he tried to lose himself in the mess of time and fade away, too, so he could forget that he was ever a member of the Doom Patrol or a Titan.

It didn't work. He never forgot. Garfield didn't know if it was because of the rare moments when his conscience would appear to remind him of all his failures or if it was the customers who continued to come see him. He figured it was probably the latter. He didn't know the steady stream of people that visited him in his cage, of course, but they knew him. Some of them were loud and angry, cursing him and throwing rotted fruit or rocks at him. One man had even attempted to shoot him but had been too drunk to actually figure out how to pull the trigger.

The worst visitors, though, were the quiet ones. They always made a point of whispering to one another, saying that the green guy in the cage had once been a hero, a defender of their city but had deserted them and turned into this. He was a traitor and a coward, they hissed. They spoke quietly but even then, Garfield recognized the hatred and disgust in their voices. The malice made his skin crawl and kept him up at night with thoughts that if they had half a chance, if he was out in the open for a moment, they would surely kill him.

That was why he refused to leave the cage. He couldn't blame them for the way they felt about him because he shared their sentiments but self-preservation and fear overrode self-loathing.

Lack of personal hygiene and poor diet caused his hair to fall out, his growth to stunt, and his weight to spiral out of control. He hated how far he was allowing himself to fall but couldn't find the will to do anything to change his appearance or his life. Even if he could, he doubted it would matter. There was nothing outside of his cage for him, anyway.

_So you're just going to keep living like this? _His conscience demanded. _You _are_ pathetic._

Garfield looked back up at the signs outside his cage.

The Amazing One Man Zoo.

Freakish Wonder.

Eyes burning, the green man bowed his head, resting it against the metal bars of his shameful sanctuary. _I know_, he thought. _I know._


	6. What?

A/N: I am so, so very sorry about the delay. I've been home for over a week now but due to some computer problems, I haven't been able to update. I'm currently working off of a family member's computer so updates still might be a bit slow. However, as an apology for being gone so long, I'm uploading two chapters (or I'm trying to, at least. Uploading isn't easy from this computer). Again, I am truly sorry.

About this next oneshot…I play this game with my own friends all the time and when one of them actually said "who do?" without thinking, I got the idea for this story. A cookie to anyone who guesses where the dialogue is from. This is my first foray into humor so any feedback/constructive criticism would be more than welcome.

My disclaimer is at the bottom of this chapter because I don't want to give too much away.

077. What?

"Know what?" Beast Boy asked suddenly.

"What?" Raven replied absently. She was in the middle of a book and did not really care to know anything but decided it was in her best interest to respond. Ignoring Beast Boy, as she had discovered time and time again, only made him more persistent.

"You remind me of the babe," he casually informed her as he pushed the 'start' button on his Gamestation controller.

Raven's head shot up. She slowly turned to her teammate with a rare look of confusion on her face. _I remind him of_ _the_ what?

"What…babe?" Raven asked after a pause.

"The babe with the power," Beast Boy stated matter-of-factly. He was not looking at her, his gaze focused instead on the racing video game he was playing.

Raven, however, was still staring at him like he'd suddenly grown two extraheads.

"What power?" she demanded, a bit of anger creeping into her voice. What was he talking about? Was this some sort of joke? No, it couldn't be because Beast Boy looked unnaturally serious as he answered her question.

"The power of voodoo," he told her as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He was mashing the buttons on his game controller more furiously now, and the majority of his attention seemed to be focused on the TV screen.

_The power of...? _Raven shook her head. This conversation needed to start over. Maybe she had missed something. Had he been talking before, and she had only started listening when he directly asked her a question? And he had been talking to _her_, hadn't he? Despite the fact that she was the only other person in the room, Raven wondered if Beast Boy thought he was speaking with someone else. That thought made no sense but neither did their entire conversation, so she was willing to consider it.

"Who do?" she asked and almost immediately realized her grammatical error. Before she could correct herself, however, Beast Boy answered.

"You do." Now he was smiling almost gleefullybut Raven couldn't tell if it was because his car was winning or because he had managed to completely bewilder her.

"Do what!" she half-shouted in exasperation. A small vein on her forehead popped out as she heard the sound of breaking glass coming from the kitchen.

"Remind me of the babe!" Beast Boy exclaimed as his car crossed the finish line. The words 'Course Record' flashed happily across the TV screen, and Beast Boy let out a victory cheer. "Alright! Who da beast? I da beast!"

With that, the changeling jumped up and sauntered toward the kitchen. He shot a smug smile and a wink over his shoulder as he entered it.

Raven blinked once. Then twice. She replayed the conversation over in her mind, picking it apart to see if there was some little clue that she had overlooked, some key word that would enlighten her as to just what they had been discussing.

Fearing that he had finally succeeded in driving her insane, Raven slammed her book shut and stomped into the kitchen. "Beast Boy, what in the hell were you talking about?"

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans or the majority of the dialogue written here. I believe it belongs to Mr. David Bowe.


	7. Triangle

A/N: Yes, yes, I know—the whole Terra-BB-Raven love triangle has been done to death but I've had snippets of this written for over a year now and this seemed like a good opportunity to get it out there for the rest of the world to see. Plus, I'm kind of proud of it. Let me know what you think!

I don't know where this story would take place in reference to the series. I'll let you decide that.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Teen Titans.

042. Triangle

Raven didn't have to look up. She knew the moment he entered the room. His warmth was unmistakable.

"Hey, Raven."

She took a breath, then exhaled slowly but silently. "Beast Boy."

He grinned before jumping on the couch beside her and peering over the book in her lap. "So, whatcha readin'? No, wait—let me guess. Poe? Hawthorne? King? RL Stine?"

She kept her focus on her book, not daring to look him in the eye even though she knew he was trying to catch hers. A tiny, ironic voice in her mind whispered to her, informing her just how far the mighty had fallen. She tried to ignore it and that her heart was suddenly pounding."I'm not much for small talk, Beast Boy."

A heavy sigh from her companion finally caused Raven to look over at him. "You're not much for talk at all lately," Beast Boy grumbled dejectedly, slumping farther into the cushions. "You and me don't always get along but we used to talk. We don't do that anymore. Why not?"

"That was then. This is now." She still wasn't able to meet his gaze, and he still didn't understand why she wouldn't. He probably never would, she reasoned before thinking to herself that that was a good thing. It was exactly what she needed to happen. Wants—particularly hers—weren't important. Especially when they were wants she should never have allowed herself to have.

"What's the difference between then and now?" Beast Boy demanded. There was a note of anxiety in his voice, and Raven wondered if he even knew it was there.

"You have a girlfriend now," Raven replied with a shrug, as if the fact didn't bother her. And it didn't, she told herself for the umpteenth time. It did not bother her at all.

"But that doesn't matter!" They both knew that he wouldn't be so defensive about it if it truly didn't matter. She sent him a look to remind him of that fact, and he flushed. "It doesn't matter to me," he added in a quieter, less desperate tone.

"But it would to _her_."

He opened his mouth but couldn't find the words to argue that point. Beast Boy knew it would bother Terra—she wasn't exactly a fan of Raven nor was Raven terribly fond of the blonde rock-thrower. The two were just now managing to be civil toward one another but he knew if he persued this...this whatever it was hehad with Raven, it would only cause trouble. Someone would get hurt.

But when he looked at the dark girl, Beast Boy feared that someone had already been hurt.

He said, "I wish things didn't have to change. I like Terra a lot but...I liked everything before, too."

"Life is about sacrificing."

He shot a look of confusion in her direction. "But we aren't talking about life. We're talking about _us_, Rae."

She almost flinched. He had no idea how much that innocent statement hurt. She knew shouldn't allow him to call her that nickname anymore either but couldn't quite find the words to tell him to stop. Some part of her—probably Denial or Affection—believed that as long as he called her that, she wouldn't have totally lost him, and as much as Raven detested whichever emotion it was, she couldn't muster the strength to squash it.

"Things are different," Raven repeated as much to convince herself as well as him.

"But do they have to be this different?" Beast Boy was almost pleading by this point. He reached out a hand to put on her shoulder, thinking that if he did, she would finally look him in the eye.

Instead of her shoulder, however, his hand merely brushed against her cloak as Raven stood and began walking from the room.

"Yes, Beast Boy," she said before disappearing into the hall. "Things must be this different."

It was cruel to leave him, especially when he was so desperately afraid that he was going to lose their strange relationship, and Raven hated herself for going. But the fact that he was so close to her yet so far out of her reach…

That was crueler than anything she could ever do to him.


	8. Strangers

A/N: Okay, so the delay wasn't quite as long this time. I'm still having computer problems and I've just started a job (and it looks like they've decided I'm working full time this summer...wish they had talked to _me_ about that first...) so updates still might be a bit slow. I'm working on it, though.

This oneshot takes place during Things Change. Once again, I'm elaborating on the events that took place in the episode so I can delve into the characters a bit more.

Thank you so much to all those who reviewed. Feedback is really helpful, guys, so please keep telling me what you think.

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.

025. Strangers

He remembered something Raven had said to him once. "We can't change the truth no matter how much we dislike it," she'd told him.

He listened to her then and obviously hadn't forgotten her words but he had never understood what she meant.

Now he knew.

"Things change, Beast Boy," she said, sounding almost-but-not-quite sad. She turned away from him and began walking away.

But she was wrong, he wanted to scream. Things hadn't changed. They couldn't have.

She had.

"The girl you want me to be is just a memory," she called back to him.

No, that wasn't right. The girl he was looking for wasn't just a memory.

She was walking away from him. Away from him and out of his life. Again.

_Don't go, Terra, please don't go. Don't leave me behind again, _he thought desperately, trying to will the girl's memory back.

Beast Boy started to cry out to her, to beg her to remember everything they had done together—the date, the pie place, the carnival, the almost-kiss, the way she said he was the best friend she'd ever had. He wanted to tell her that he wasn't just some stranger—she knew him. She had to remember, she just had to, because there was no way fate would be so cruel as to put a Terra look-alike into his life just to torment him.

Of course, fate was proving cruel enough at the moment because she didn't know who he was, and it looked like he was going to lose her all over again.

Or had he never had her to begin with?

Dimly, Beast Boy realized his communicator was buzzing and it was with great effort that he took his eyes away from the retreating girl to focus on Robin's face. When Beast Boy looked back up, she was gone.

She'd left him again.

_You could have said goodbye, at least, _he thought painfully. He stood there for whatfelt like an eternity but was really less than ten seconds.In that fleeting moment, however, he felt a nearly overwhelming desire to just sit down in the middle of that school hall and cry until the disappointment and heartache faded away.

But he knew those feeling had to be forced down for now. He was a Titan and there was trouble downtown. The city and his friends needed him.

Taking a deep breath and turning quickly, Beast Boy dashed out of the school.

He didn't look back.


	9. Children

A/N: One of my favorite things about Beast Boy is his relationship with the Doom Patrol, specifically with Mento (aka Steve Dalton). I don't know if this was ever stated in the cartoon but in the comics, Mento and Elasti-Girl (aka Rita Farr) are married and did adopt Beast Boy. I assume it was the same in the show so I'm including those details here.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Teen Titans. But maybe someday...nah, I'm never going to own them.

028. Children

"The kid's done well for himself, hasn't he?" Robotman said with obvious pride.

Robotman and Mento of the Doom Patrol were watching Garfield as the young man introduced one of his female teammates—Raven, Mento remembered after a moment—to Elasti-Girl. The Doom Patrol leader thought that there might be something significant about introducing the girl to his adopted mother and from the way Rita was subtly attempting to size up an even more subtly blushing Raven, he supposed he was right.

The scene should have made him smile but Mento found he couldn't. He was still grappling with the thought that his son was now interested in girls. When had that happened? It seemed like only last week that the boy had been convinced that all members of the opposite sex—with the exception Elasti-Girl, of course—were covered with cooties.

"And not just in the dating department," Robotman continued cheerfully. "Our lil' green-bean's really grown up, hasn't he, Steve?"

"Hmm," Mento answered absently. He wasn't really paying attention to the conversation. How could he, when he had just realized that Garfield was rapidly approaching adulthood?

He had always heard that little boys grow up too quickly but he had never believed it until he saw Garfield. The boy was a few weeks shy of his fifteenth birthday—but what had happened to his fourteenth? His thirteenth? Mento hadn't been there for those special days.

As a member of the Doom Patrol, you were not supposed to establish strong emotional attachments to teammates but even Mento knew that was impossible. You can't face life and death situations with the same people day-in and day-out and _not_ consider them to be something more than associates. He had even fallen in love, married Rita, and then adopted Garfield as his own child.

Yet he had spent most of Gar's childhood driving the boy away from him. It hurt to admit it but Mento now realized that he hadn't been the most loving of father figures. He had almost always been cool toward Gar and could count on one hand the number of times he had told the youth how proud he was of him. He had spent so long telling the boy that he had to be faster, stronger, smarter, and more obedient if he wanted to make it on the Doom Patrol that Mento was hardly surprised when one day Gar had packed a bag and set off on his own.

Now, almost two years later, Mento deeply regretted his decision to let Gar go. Certainly, everything had ended up for the best as Gar had joined the Teen Titans and become the incredible hero that Mento had always known he would be.

But that didn't change the fact that Mento had missed so much. He had missed too much. While part of him was pleased at seeing the green young man before him, another part desperately wished to turn back time so he could see the green child he remembered. He would have given anything to have a second chance to be the father Gar deserved. Not that he wasn't going to start being a good parent now because he was. He planned to be the supportive, loving father he should have been all along.

But he wanted those years back. He wanted them back so, so badly.

Mento suddenly felt like laughing and crying. How was it possible to be so fiercely proud and so utterly devastated in the same moment regarding the same person? How could anyone be filled with such joy and such pain simultaneously? His son was growing up into an amazing young man...

…and he had missed most of it.

"Steve?"

"Hmm?" Robotman's words finally penetrated Mento's thoughts and he realized his friend was still talking to him. "I'm sorry, Cliff, what did you say?"

"Just that Gar's really come into his own now." Robotman peered at him and a look of deep understanding suddenly came to his face. "Steve, are you alright?" he asked gently, putting a hand on Mento's shoulder.

The leader of the Doom Patrol had to swallow against the sudden knot in his throat and tried to convince himself that the sting in his eyes had nothing to do with the realization that his only son was growing up far too fast for his liking.

"Yes," Mento answered finally. He was surprised that his voice was so steady. "Yes, Gar has done well."

_I just wish I had been there for it_, Mento added silently.


	10. Spring

A/N: Hey, three oneshots in one go! And one that includes absolutely no angst/drama/sadness! It's a little short but I hope it makes sense.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own the Teen Titans.

062. Spring

It isn't often that teenagers can sincerely say they like who they are. It is even rarer for the Titans' green changeling to admit such a thing.

But today, however, Beast Boy thought he could.

Looking back, Beast Boy could honestly say that there weren't a lot of things he would change about his life. He had regrets, as every person does. He wished he had been strong enough to save his parents and Terra. He wanted to find a way to make Mento proud of him but wasn't sure if he ever would. He wished he had actually hugged Raven back after the Malchoir incident.

But a day like this wasn't the time to dwell on painful memories, not when everything was so wonderful. It was sunny, and there was hardly a cloud in the sky. The air was pleasant, not too hot or too cold but a perfect medium. Birds were whistling and chirping happily in the tree Beast Boy was dozing under. The entire city seemed to be at peace as if even Jump City's most notorious villains could not work up the desire to wreak havoc on a day like this.

He could hear Robin's voice from somewhere nearby as the Boy Wonder taught Starfire the intricacies of frisbee. Beside him and also under the shade of the tree, Raven was meditating, her quiet chant lulling Beast Boy into an even deeper state of calm. Cyborg was grilling and had even offered to grill his tofu dogs for him.

It was a perfect day, a day that Beast Boy could even kind-of-sort-of-almost like himself on. As he lounged serenely in the cool grass, he knew the feeling wouldn't last long but he was going to enjoy a break from his insecurities for as long as possible.

After all, Beast Boy thought as he sighed contentedly, he hadn't done too badly so far. Maybe he deserved to feel at peace.

Even if it was only for one perfect spring day.


	11. Days

A/N: This oneshot takes place during the final season, when the Titans were seperated and searching for the Brotherhood of Evil. I'm a little sketchy on the details of some of those episodes so I apologize if I mess up any facts. As a person who is about to leave home for college, I'm pretty fond of this chapter. Anyone who has ever been away from home for a long time can probably appreciate Beast Boy'sthoughts and feelings here. If you enjoy listening to music while you read, I would suggest Michael Buble's "Home."

As for reviews...holy cow. You guys are making me blush. Thank you so, so much. I'm so glad people are enjoying these stories and I really do appreciate the feedback. Please keep telling me what you like, don't like, and/or what could be better.

Disclaimer: I still don't own the Teen Titans.

007. Days

It was night again and in order to find a little bit of peace, Beast Boy told himself it would only be a few more days. A few more days and then he could go home again. He didn't believe that at all but the thought helped keep the loneliness and homesickness from crushing him.

The image of the Titans Tower suddenly came to his mind but he quickly shook the thought away. "Stop that," Beast Boy sternly ordered himself. "Stop thinking about it. It won't get you home any faster and it definitely won't help you sleep so…I should really stop talking to myself now."

After eating a quick dinner and laying out his sleep bag, Beast Boy found himself staring upward. Stars dotted the darkened sky and the moon was full and bright, giving everything around him an almost ethereal glow. All in all, it was a beautiful sight and Beast Boy opened his mouth to comment on it…and then stopped, realizing once again that no one was there to hear him.

The green changeling sighed quietly into the suddenly heavy silence. He rolled over and shut his eyes tightly in an effort to quickly will himself to sleep. It didn't work, however, and before he could stop it, Beast Boy found himself thinking everything that had happened and everything he now missed.

At first, Beast Boy had thought it would only be a matter of days. He was very aware of how strong the Brotherhood of Evil was, more so than any of the other Titans, but even then Beast Boy had been certain that catching the Brain and his minions would take five or six days at the most.

But then the days stretched into weeks. Those weeks had turned into a month, and that one month turned into many until Beast Boy realized he'd been away from Jump City for almost half a year. If that realization hadn't been bad enough, his next was that, with the amount of progress they had made in stopping the Brotherhood, it would still be a very long time before he could finally go home.

To make matters worse, most of the time Beast Boy was alone. Well,not _totally_ alone, not by the normal definition of the word. He saw other people as he traveled, of course,and they were nice enough but...they weren't who he wanted to see. They weren't who he missed.

They weren't his friends, and that was what made him feel so alone.

The Titans were often split up so that various missions and searches could be conducted within a shorter amount of time. They were all in constant contact with each other via communicators, of course, but it wasn't the same. The fact that he was only able to talk and see his friends through his communicator always reminded Beast Boy that he was miles and miles away from them, and that actually made him feel even lonelier.

"It doesn't help to think about it," Beast Boy whispered aloud, no longer caring that he was talking to himself. "So stop it. Stop it right now."

Despite his words, however, he knew he wasn't going to stop thinking about it. It was night, after all, and he always found himself thinking of such things at this time.

Days without his friends and away from home were long but nights…nights were the absolute worst because he always fell asleep with the knowledge that when he woke up the next day, he would not be in his bed at the Tower. He was not going to go to the kitchen and have his Tofu-vs.-Meat argument with Cyborg nor was he going to watch in horrified fascination as Starfire downed a glass of mustard-orange juice with her breakfast. There wouldn't be any training with Robin, and there would be no attempt to get Raven to smile at a joke.

Instead Beast Boy knew he was going to wake up in his sleeping bag at some far-from-home destination. That made it hard to get any sleep and sometimes—like right now, he thought bitterly—he would just lie there for hours, wishing for some semblance of his old life. He would think about what might be happening in Jump City or what he would be doing if he were there. He thought about his friends and wondered if they were doing. Were they safe? Had they had any luck in their searches? Where were they right now?

Were they missing him as much as he missed them?

On his worst nights, he would find himself filled with the irrational fear that the other Titans were going to forget him or he was going to forget what they looked like. He began thinking that the Brain, Mallah, and Madame Rouge were never going to be stopped and that he was never going to get back to his city. It was times like those that made him want to just give up.

Beast Boy knew that it was his job to make sure that the Brotherhood of Evil was stopped, that it was his responsibility to protect innocent people from whatever evil scheme the Brain was cooking up but that didn't stop him from feeling excruciatingly alone and miserable now. There were times when he wanted to quit, to scream that he'd had enough of all this and he just wanted to go home. That desire always made him feel childish but that was what homesickness was designed to do to you—it made you feel like a child. A lost, tired, desperately lonely child who wanted nothing more than to just go back to the place he felt safest and happiest.

With a little noise that was more whimper than anything else, Beast Boy realized he felt that way now. A curious feeling of simultaneous heaviness and emptiness settled into his chest. His eyes were still shut tightly but the hot tears were still able to squeeze through and roll down his face. Raising an arm, he roughly wiped them away and kept his arm over his eyes.

"Only a few more days," he whispered through clenched teeth. "Just a few more days."

He still didn't believe it but kept saying it until the words helped him drift off to restless sleep. In his dreams, he and his friends were already home.


	12. If

Disclaimer: Since I've had parts of this story written for a long time and it wasn't originally meant to go with this prompt, I don't know how well the story fits with the word "if". Hopefully, it works well enought, though. I also don't know if it's possible for animals to smell emotions. I do know that certain animals can smell fear so, for the sake of this oneshot,let's suspend reality for a moment and pretend that it is possible to smell all emotions.

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Wish I did but I don't.

082. If

He always knew it was only a matter of time.

With such different personalities in such close quarters, tempers were bound to flare. Fights were inevitable.

And they fought. A lot.

"You drooled on me!"

"I did not! I just wiped my mouth on your cape!"

It always seemed to happen the same way. Beast Boy would do something to annoy Raven, and she would snap at him. Indignant and a little hurt, he would angrily retort only to have her fire back another scathing remark. An argument would soon erupt, only ending when one of his statements struck a nerve and a light bulb or glass exploded. An embarrassed flush would stain her cheeks, and with a final glare in his direction, Raven would storm off to her room. Beast Boy would then spend the next hour sulking on the couch, trying to convince himself that it hadn't been his fault she'd gotten so angry.

Eventually, though, his conscience would catch up with him, and he would begin to feel guilty. A nagging voice in the back of his mind would tell him that he shouldn't have bothered her, that he should have just left her alone. It reminded him that she had yet to openly laugh at one of his jokes, to give his tofu a try, to play a round of video games with him, to _just smile in his direction_.

Why did he even try, the voice demanded. She obviously didn't enjoy his company, and she was never going to open up to him. Why couldn't he just accept that?

Beast Boy didn't even try to think up a reason. He never had an answer for that question.

Finally, after spending another hour wrestling with his conscience, his guilt would get to him, and Beast Boy would find himself outside Raven's door, trying to reconcile with the dark girl.

Today was no exception to the routine. After yet another argument that had caused a sizable crack in the window, Beast Boy was moping on the couch. His eyes were focused on the TV screen but he wasn't really watching it as he was far too busy wallowing somewhere between self-loathing and self-pity.

Everything would be so much easier if he could leave her alone to do as she pleased, if he would stop trying to get her to acknowledge his existence, if he ignored her like she did him.

Or better yet, he thought to himself, it would be easier if he could just hate her.

He knew he never would and normally he didn't want to. In fact, Beast Boy feared his feelings for Raven were warming into the exact opposite of pure loathing but there were times when he was certain that hating the Azarathian would be less painful than feeling anything else for her.

After all, she obviously couldn't stand him. Even after all the time they'd been on a team together, she had yet to treat him civilly for any decent amount of time. Whenever he tried to do something for her—make her tea or cook her breakfast—it never worked out in his favor because he always managed to do something that wasn't to her tastes. Any time he tried to get her to have some fun with him—play video games, go to a movie, or just take a walk in the park—she coldly threw a sarcastic refusal in his direction and went back to her book. Whatever he did or said always seemed to blow up in his face. Literally, sometimes, as he recalled a certain morning after an incident with Dr. Light.

Thinking of that morning led him to remember later that day, when he and Cyborg had been sucked into her mirror and helped her fight off the demon in her head. Raven had called him her friend then but damn it, if she thought of him as a friend, why couldn't she treat him like one?

Yes, Beast Boy decided dejectedly as he sighed and prepared to go make yet another apology. Life would be so, so much simpler if he could just hate Raven.

Dragging his feet down the hall, Beast Boy tried to make the familiar journey to Raven's room last as long as possible. When he finally reached her door, he raised his fist to knock…and stopped. Something in the air caught his nose and he inhaled. His heart sunk painfully as he recognized the scents of frustration mixed with hurt and regret. There was the distinct smell of sadness and even…even a hint of salt.

Running a hand through his hair, Beast Boy heaved another heavy sigh. It would probably be easier for her, too, he thought, if _she_ could just hate _him_.

"Hey, Raven?" Beast Boy called. "Rae, it's me. Can we talk?"


	13. Water

A/N: I apologize for the long delay in updates. Not only has work been hectic but I've been also been battling the worst foe known to writers of all fandoms and genres—the dreaded writer's block (I think it's pretty evident in my writing that I struggled with this one). Hopefully, that's clearing up so updates should come more quickly. As always, thank you to those who reviewed. I'm so glad people like these oneshots, and plus the encouragement and feedback is extremely helpful when I'm stuck on a certain story. Please keep talking to me, guys!

A few notes on this oneshot—1) The Doom Patrol is Beast Boy's adopted family. For those who don't know much about the comics, Beast Boy's biological parents were scientists who died in a boating accident when he was young. The words in italics are my version of Beast Boy's memory of that day. 2) The word _kibeti_ is Swahili for little child or animal. From what I researched, it canalso be a term of endearment. 3) I'm not trying to make Robin seem like a jerk in this because I don't think he is. Well...not all the time. I've just noticed our dear Boy Wonder is easily frustrated by Beast Boy.

Disclaimer: I still do not own the Teen Titans.

051. Water

It would just be a quick boat ride, Beast Boy told himself as he made his way up the loading ramp. That was all. He'd ridden in the T-Sub, and this would hardly be any different. And the ocean wasn't that bad, either. He went swimming with the team and messed around in it as a dolphin all the time.

But only when it was a calm day, though, and today…today was not a calm day.

The sky was ominously dark and the smell of rain in the chilly air made it obvious a storm was on the way. The wind had picked up quite a bit in the last few minutes. On the bay, the small ferry boat rocked and creaked while the normally calm waters, now gray and choppy, swirled beneath it.

The angry water made Beast Boy think of something, an old memory. That recollection made chill race up his spin and his stomach churn. He tried to remind himself that he wasn't looking at a river, wasn't at the camp but he could already hear the voices in his head.

"_Garfield." _

_With a laugh, the young green boy looked up into Chief's Tawamba's face and held up his cupped hands. "Look, Chief, it's one of those cluster bugs Mama was tryin' to catch this morning! She…" The words died on the young boy's lips as he noticed the look on the Chief's face. He'd seen that look on the man's face once before, when he caught the Sakutia virus two years ago, and he knew what that look meant._

_Something bad had happened. Something very bad._

_Six-year-old Garfield Logan suddenly felt afraid._

_The deep tenor of Chief Tawamba's voice was filled with something quiet and sad. "Garfield," he said. "Come here, _kibeti_."_

_Hesitantly, the boy put the bug on the ground and walked over to the man._

Beast Boy shivered, trying to force the images away. The memory had already had its effect, however, and before he knew it, he was back on dry land.

"I'm going to fly," he called to his teammates as he walked toward the edge of the dock.

Robin shot at his teammate a surprised look and walked back down the loading ramp to follow him. "Beast Boy, you can't. You know if you fly across in this wind, you might not reach the Tower before it breaks. Riding the ferry is safer."

The changeling shook his head adamantly. "No thanks. I'll take my chances in the air."

Robin caught his arm just as he was about to turn into a bird and take off. "Beast Boy, it's too dangerous to fly right now." There was a hint of irritation in the Boy Wonder's voice. "The others are already on board. You need to get on, too."

"No way, dude. I'm not getting on that."

"Why not?" Robin demanded impatiently. "It's a ferry. It's like a car on water."

"_What's going on?" Gar asked. The normally vibrant people of the tribe were solemn and quiet, and they were watching him. Someone in his parents' research crew was crying. The heavy hand on his shoulder wasn't as comforting as it usually was, and now he was very, very scared even though he didn't quite know why. "Something's wrong. What's going on?"_

_Chief Tawamba kneeled down in front of the boy but didn't say anything for a moment. He looked like he needed to speak but just couldn't. "Garfield, there has been an accident," the man said finally. "Something went wrong on your parents' boat. There was an explosion—a terrible one."_

_Gar could barely hear the words over the sudden pounding in his ears. His world seemed to freeze, coming to a sudden, horrible stop around him. Dimly, he realized he was already crying; silent tears were slipping down his cheeks, although he didn't understand why._

"_The water called for your mother and father, _kibeti_. They…they will not be returning."_

_His world shattered into a million sharp pieces._

"I don't want to." Beast Boy wasn't meeting his leader's eyes. His voice was low but there was a detectable hint of steel in it, a warning to push no farther.

Unfortunately, Robin didn't catch it. "You're going to have to give me a better reason than that, Beast Boy," he said, folding his arms over his chest.

"I _can't_, Robin! I just can't do it, okay? I'm not getting on that thing! I won't do it!" The green teenager was almost shouting now. He was also shivering violently now as a sudden, desperate desire to see the two people he'd lost almost ten years before exploded in his chest. The feeling was nearly overwhelming, and he wanted—_needed_—to put as much distance between himself and the water and the ferry as he could.

Robin was obviously started by Beast Boy's behavior. Exasperation melting into concern, the Boy Wonder moved forward to put a hand on his teammate's shoulder. "Beast Boy, what's—"

"Robin. Leave him alone."

"_No, they're coming back! They said they'd be back tonight! They said they would! They _promised_!" _

_He was screaming and crying loudly now, and he didn't even care if it made him sound like a baby. He would do it all night if he had to. He would do it until Mama and Daddy came back, would do anything if they would come back to him._

_He wanted to run, to get away from those words and the sad people and the pain in his chest but found he couldn't move. The Chief's strong arms were wrapped tightly around Garfield as the child thrashed and sobbed and begged for his parents. The village echoed with the small, green boy's grief._

Raven was suddenly off the transport boat and between the two. "If he doesn't want to ride the ferry, he doesn't have to. And if you hold him up any longer, he really will get caught in the storm," she told Robin in a tone that left no room for argument.

Without waiting for her leader's agreement, Raven turned to the changeling and said in a far gentler voice, "Go on to the Tower, Beast Boy. We'll meet you there."

Giving the dark girl a look of utter gratitude, Beast Boy turned into a heron and took to the air.

"The wind is really strong right now, Raven," Robin explained as the two walked onto the ferry. "I just didn't want him to get into trouble."

"He'll stay with the boat, and I'll watch him," Raven replied evenly. "He's fine."

The two were silent for a moment as they watched a green bird gliding above them. Then Robin turned his gaze to the empath. "I didn't mean to upset him," the Boy Wonder said apologetically. "Why didn't he want to get on the boat?"

Raven continued to watch her friend as he circled in the sky. She had been able to feel the anguish radiating off him and still could. She knew Beast Boy would need some time to pull himself together. The flight to the Tower probably wouldn't give him enough to totally calm down but it would keep him from having a complete breakdown.

"Raven?"

She finally gave her leader a glance. "He doesn't like water sometimes," she said simply.

The curtness of Raven's answer and the ominous roll of thunder that followed told Robin not to ask any more questions. Instead he returned his eyes to his airborne teammate and wondered what could have caused the young man's sudden aversion to water.

"_Nonononono, you're wrong! You're wrong, they're coming back! They promised! They _promised_!"_

_Tawamba hugged the small child tightly. Tears from his own eyes fell into the boy's green hair. "The river called them, _kibeti_. I am sorry. I am so, so sorry."_

_Gar was hardly listening as he continued to sob. "Mama! Mama, Daddy, please! Come back! Please don't leave me! Please!" _

_His cries filled the camp and the village, and he knew that everyone present could hear him and that his screams were making them even sadder. But that didn't matter and they didn't matter, not to Gar. The only people who matter to him were his parents, his Mama and Daddy, and they weren't coming back. They couldn't._

_Those taken by the angry waters of the river never came back._


	14. Home

A/N: This short oneshot was inspired by a few lines in a Jimmy Eat World song. The entire song is kind of sad and doesn't fit with the story but the part that does is below.

"I fall asleep with my friends around me

The only place I know I feel safe

I'm gonna call this home." – The World You Love

Disclamier: I do not own the Teen Titans.

090. Home

He was getting that warm, hazy feeling again, the one a person always feels before drifting off into sleep. The team was barely halfway into the movie and it was a good one, it really was, but he doubted his eyes would be able to stay open for much longer. Feeling comfortably adrift, he yawned and settled back into the couch cushions. He figured that someone—most likely Cyborg or Starfire—would deposit him in his bed later.

Animal instinct told him to take one last look around the room and Beast Boy complied, allowing his drooping eyes to wander. Cyborg was beside him, leaning forward with his mouth opened wide and obviously enthralled by the movie. Raven was on his other side, reading in the dim light and sneaking glances at the screen when she was sure no one would notice. Starfire and Robin were on the other end of the couch; the Boy Wonder was enjoying the fact that the Tamareanan princess had gotten caught up in the suspenseful film and was huddling against him.

His friends were nearby and safe. As far as Beast Boy was concerned, that meant all was right with the world.

A sudden contented feeling washed over him, startling him into consciousness for a moment longer. Beast Boy recognized the feeling immediately but was still very surprised by its presence. He hadn't felt this way in so long. Not since the time before his parents' death. Not even during the best of times with the Doom Patrol.

A sleepy smile worked its way onto his face as he began to drift off to sleep again. He didn't know the name of the feeling but it was welcoming and pleasant, and its existence told him that a journey he had not been aware he was taking was finally over. In this place that had always been a symbol of strength and surrounded by people who loved and accepted him, Beast Boy knew he'd found a place he could belong.

Let some things change. He could deal with that now. He could handle anything as long as this—his friends, the Tower, the feeling that both gave him—never disappeared or ended.

He was safe, happy, and loved.

He was home.


	15. Friends

A/N: As I've just had my wisdom teeth out, this oneshot is a product of pain pills and TiVoed episodes of Teen Titans (including The Prophecy, The End Parts I, II, and III, The Beast Within, Date With Destiny, and Mother Mae-Eye…which I don't recommend anyone watch while under the influence of heavy pain killers. You get some _freaky_ dreams.) so please pardon any non-coherentness. All in all, though, I am pretty proud of this story.

Thank you to all who reviewed. You guys always managed to brighten my day and your insights are what helps me improve. Please keep talking to me!

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans.

021. Friends

Raven couldn't blame them for falling asleep. The night had been a long one, after all, and it wasn't every day that you learned the world was ending. They deserved some rest and needed it. The next few weeks were not going to be easy on anyone so she wanted her friends to relax they could whenever they could.

After watching the sun rise, the five Titans had sat on the Commons' room couch to discuss a plan to combat Trigon's invasion. The planning had been cut short, however, as everyone with the exception of Raven had fallen asleep. At one end of the couch, Robin was resting his head against Starfire's shoulder while the Tamarean princess had her head atop his. Cyborg, snoring loudly and drooling ever so slightly, was sprawled out at the other end. Raven sat beside the metal man, and Beast Boy, in the form of a cat, was curled up next to her.

Despite the fact that she was a living harbinger of doom, her friends had promised to stand beside her and fight with her. To Raven, that was amazing. It was more than she had ever hoped for or expected from them, and she would be eternally grateful. She wouldn't begrudge them their rest or really anything else.

Still, a small part of her envied them that they could sleep. Thanks in large part to nightmares of fire and brimstone and demons and blood, she hadn't had a full night's rest in nearly three months. She felt so very tired but even in such a comfortable place—her home surrounded by the people she considered more family than simply friends—she still could not calm herself long enough to fall asleep.

Standing slowly so as not to disturb her friends, Raven walked back over to the window and looked out at the bay. The mid-morning sun was glistening over the water. Small waves were rolling over their island beach. In the distance, Jump City stood as her personal symbol of hope and redemption. The scene was of pure, unblemished beauty and usually it would have given Raven a sense of tranquility.

But peace was a feeling that had escaped Raven for so long now that she wasn't sure she would ever know it again. Certainly she appreciated the Titans willingness to stand beside her but even then, she couldn't shake the sense of despair and fear that lingered in the back of her mind.

She looked back at her friends, nearly smiling at the serene looks on their faces. That almost-smile disappeared quickly as dark thoughts invaded her mind. They were brave and loyal but…they didn't know Trigon. Her friends had no idea of the destruction he was capable of, of the damage he could so easily produce. As a full demon, Trigon lived for death and devastation; he enjoyed pain and anguish. He was evil incarnated.

And she was to be the one to bring him to earth.

Raven closed her eyes tightly, ignoring the pressure behind them. How could she allow them to become involved in this? She was practically signing their death certificates by staying near them. She—

"Rae?"

A voice from behind her interrupted her thoughts and had she been anyone else, Raven might have jumped out of surprise. But as she was Raven, she caught herself before she could betray any outward signs of alarm and simply turned around to see a yawning Beast Boy making his way toward her.

"I thought you were asleep," Raven stated calmly.

"Was," Beast Boy replied groggily, rubbing his eyes. "But it got kinda cool after you got up."

"Hm. Sorry."

"'Sokay." Beast Boy stood beside her, and the two turned their attentions to the view of the bay. They were silent for a moment as they concentrated on their own thoughts, Raven with hers of worry and Beast Boy with his of getting Raven to talk about her worries. He knew she had them, after all. With Raven, he always knew.

"So," he said after a moment. "You doing okay? I know that's a dumb question but I gotta ask it anyway."

The dark girl didn't want to talk, especially not about this. However, prior experience told her that Beast Boy could be and, in her case especially, would be persistent. "As well as can be expected, I suppose," she replied, hoping he would let the matter drop.

"Which isn't very good, right?" Beast Boy remarked. He gave a little smile at the irritated look she threw his way. "Oh, c'mon, Raven. You always know when I'm holding back. Why wouldn't I know when you're not telling me everything?"

"Because you aren't emphatic."

Beast Boy shrugged. "Maybe not, dude, but I am your friend. That's close enough."

Friend. Raven stiffened as the word seemed to echo in her head. Friend. He called her a friend. She thought of herself as his friend, as a friend to all the team. The Titans meant more to her than any other people she had ever met in her entire life, save her own mother. So how could she get them into this death trap? How could she even consider doing that to them?

Even though her usual placid expression was still on her face, Beast Boy caught the stricken look in her eyes. He couldn't stand to see anyone look like that, least of all Raven. He had to figure out what was going on. He had to help her.

"Raven?" Beast Boy asked, gently laying his hand on her arm. The touch startled her, and she flinched away. "Please talk to me. Tell me how to help."

"There isn't any way to help. I should have found a way to deal with this on my own. I shouldn't have gotten any of you involved in this," she growled. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Raven was surprised at herself. She hadn't meant to answer him but now the words were spilling out and once they started, she found she couldn't stop them. "None of you deserve to be stuck in the middle of the apocalypse just because I was too weak to deal with the situation myself."

Thankfully, he seemed to understand that the anger in her voice was directed at herself and not him. "Weak? You? No way. You're the strongest person I know. And we'll find a way to beat this guy, just you wait."

"You don't understand," Raven said, looking away from her teammate. "I'm going to destroy the world, Beast Boy. I _am_ the end of the world."

"No, you're only _supposed_ to destroy the world. That doesn't mean it's going to happen. It's like I'm supposed to be a little more mature by now but because I'm me, I'm not," Beast Boy told her with an encouraging smile. When she didn't respond, he added, "Besides, you're more of a sunrise person, Raven. You are a beginning—not an ending."

Despite herself, Raven raised her eyebrow at him. "Wow. That almost sounded philosophical."

"Now _you're_ the one ruining the moment," Beast Boy said with a roll of his eyes as he poked her in the side. She jumped slightly at the contact and glared at him but he ignored it by continuing to speak. "Just bear with me here, okay? I know you want to do this on your own and that you think you can, and you're probably right. I mean, when aren't you right, right? But the bottom line is, I don't want you to go into this by yourself. I'm here to help, Rae. You're not getting rid of me."

"I don't want to get rid of you, Beast Boy. But you don't know what you're getting yourself into," she sighed. It occurred to her that he had spoken in 'I's' instead of 'we's' but she pushed that thought away. Now was definitely not the time to try to discern the implications behind his change in pronouns. She could sort that out later but for right now, he deserved to know what was he was up against.

"None of you do," Raven continued. "Trigon is…imagine the worst person you can. Someone who would cause as much pain, despair, and devastation as he possibly could and get absolute pleasure from the anguish. Someone who would destroy entire planets and peoples simply because he had the ability. Someone who would force a young woman to bear his child, a child that would be destined to destroy planets and peoples by his side."

There was a bitter sadness in her voice that he had never heard before, and he hated that she had any reason to feel that way. "That's Trigon?"

"Yes."

Beast Boy, feeling more than a little nauseous now, took a moment to digest that information. "Okay," he said slowly, taking a deep breath. "Okay. So, this is bad."

"Bad doesn't even begin to cover it," Raven sighed, staring at the floor. She clenched her hands into fists in an effort to stop their shaking. "This could be the end, Beast Boy. And I could be the one to bring it about."

"Rae, that's not going to happ—"

"I'm half-demon! I am the daughter of Trigon the Terrible!" Raven interrupted angrily, eyes blazing a furious white. She was trembling now and desperately wanted to stop but couldn't. She couldn't even stop her voice from rising. "Don't you get it? His blood is in my veins! I'm going to be just as evil as he is if not more! I'm a monster, Beast Boy!"

"Don't say that!" He shouted back. Raven, already about to launch into another tirade, found herself staring in shocked silence. She rarely heard him speak so heatedly and never to her. "You are not a monster. You're _not_. Don't you ever, ever say that again, understand? Don't even think it."

Both were quiet for a long time after that, and it was a wonder that none of their other teammates had woken up due to the yelling. They hadn't even stirred, and Raven found herself feeling oddly thankful for that. This conversation was probably one of the most personal she'd ever had in her life, and she didn't want anyone else privy to it.

Raven glanced over at him and wasn't surprised to find him staring steadily back at her. Most of what she had said in the last few minutes had not been easy to admit, and she had never imagined that she would confide them in any of the Titans, especially Beast Boy. But here he was and he wanted to help her, and she…she needed her friend right now. She needed him to reassure her that—despite the complete and utter despair of the situation, despite the chances of victory border lining impossibility—that he had truly meant it when he'd told her that, at the very least, they would try to stop Trigon.

He didn't disappoint her.

"Look, I don't care about _what_ you are, Raven," Beast Boy said, moving forward to put both his hands on her shoulders. "None of us do. We all love _who_ you are. You're our friend. And we're gonna find a way to stop this guy. I promise."

It was such a naïve remark, one bordering on foolishness—but Raven found she didn't care. For the second time in her life, the violet-haired Titan initiated affectionate physical contact with another human being. Throwing her arms around the changeling's neck, she pulled Beast Boy into a tight hug and this time, he returned it without hesitation. They stayed like that for a long time, both taking comfort in the compassion and closeness that the embrace provided.

"You're not alone, Rae," Beast Boy whispered. "Remember? I don't care who's after you or what that prophecy says you're gonna do—it doesn't matter. You aren't alone. Ever."

And Raven believed him.


	16. Red

A/N: Uh…hi. Anyone remember me?

I am so, so sorry about the length between updates. I've just started my freshman year in college and being in my university's honors program has left me far less time than I thought it would. Sadly, I have to put my school work before updating this fic. I also had a nasty bout of writers' block again and that took some time to work through. Still, I apologize for having neglected this story for so long. Now that things are settling down, though, I should have more time to write. I hope so, at least—I miss writing these. Until I can update again, will three oneshots at once hold you over?

Speaking of oneshots…this one takes place during Beast Boy's transformation into the Beast during "The Beast Within". That's one of my favorite episodes so expect to see a few more stories concerning BB and his inner Beast. I hope I captured the mood of this particular scene.

Please continue reading and reviewing!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. At the moment, I do not even own my own soul. My Humanities professor does.

011. Red

Deep down, he knew he shouldn't have argued with her. Their collision in the hall had been his fault but for once, she had been the one to apologize. _Raven_ had apologized to _him_, and all he could do was be an absolute jerk and blow up at her. She hadn't deserved it, and some small part of him knew it.

The rest of him just didn't give a damn. She'd been mean to him for over a year. One apology didn't make up for a year's worth of insults and arguments, not when he had only ever been nice to her during that amount of time.

The others shouldn't have butted in. Raven needed to know just what she'd put him through with her snide comments and her superiority complex, and the others had no business stepping in to stop it. Hell, she threw him out windows all the time, and they had never once tried to protect him. If his so-called friends weren't going to save him from her wrath, what right did they have to keep her from his?

With a snarl, Beast Boy smashed a table in half. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. Raven _deserved_ to feel as bad as she made him feel. He cared about her, he always had. Why couldn't she see that? Why did she have to treat him so—

Then it happened.

It began with the worst headache he had ever experienced in his life. He remembered how he clutched his head and fell to his knees, gasping and trying to figure out what was happening to him. The room around him was spiraling, all the colors and shapes melding together into a horrible kaleidoscope of confusion and pain. He wanted to stand but couldn't summon the strength to do anything beyond writhing on the floor.

"What's…happening?" someone gasped. He almost didn't realize it was him.

Then the pain hit the rest of his body. Like magma, it flowed through every single inch of him and made him wonder if he was being ripped apart from the inside out. He thought he opened his mouth to scream but didn't hear anything. He must have screamed—in that much agony, how could he not?—but the sound of his words, however loud, couldn't carry over the thundering in his ears.

Those recollections were hazy, though. The pain had been clear enough—for the first few moments, it was all his mind could process—but the sequence of events, the actual details of what happened were blurry at best. His body grew and became stronger, his teeth grew sharper and longer but he didn't remember the exactly what change happened when. The memories were there but it was like he couldn't hold on to them for more than a few seconds at a time before they would slip away.

He did remember feeling, though. Above everything else, Beast Boy could recall what he felt—not physically, though he remembered that, but _emotionally_. Underlying all the pain, Beast Boy could feel a strange, powerful fury as coursed through him. There was panic, as well; he had certainly been afraid of what was happening to him. But the fear paled in comparison to the rage. It sizzled and blazed beneath his skin like an actual burn rising from the core of his body. It screamed through his veins like adrenaline, exciting and empowering him.

The world turned red. Until that night, he hadn't known the color but in the span of a few seconds, it was all he did know. Fearing it might be the last thing he ever _would_ know, he clung to it during what he now realized was the transformation from Boy to Beast. It was everywhere, painting everything deep and angry red.

Red like warning signs and fire and blood. Red like pride, like fury, like hate.

It overwhelmed him.

It consumed him.

In his last moment of rational thought, in the last seconds where he could think of himself as Beast _Boy_, his own words resounded in his head.

"I'm not a man—_I'm an animal_!"

And then there was nothing but red.


	17. Alone

A/N: This was written one Saturday evening when all three of my roommates were out and I realized I had absolutely nothing to do. We, too, have a loud, slightly scary air conditioner and being alone in our apartment was kind of freaking me out. Thus, this fic was born. Hope you like it and please review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.

098. Alone

Beast Boy hated being alone.

He was sure it was a stupid way to feel. The others weren't going to be gone long, after all. Cyborg was visiting Titans East and would be back by the end of the weekend, Robin and Starfire were out on patrol (Beast Boy wondered when that had become the new word for 'date') and would return later in the evening, and Raven…was doing whatever Raven did when she was in town. He thought she might have gone to one of her cafés but when he had asked to tag along, she'd given him a long look before disappearing out the door. That had been answer enough.

So he was left alone in the Tower. And the silence was beginning to get to him.

_Dude, I am _way_ too cool to spend a Saturday night like this, _Beast Boy thought, trying to keep his mind from focusing on the darkness of the room. _I could go have a night on the town like everyone else…_

Then he remembered what had happened the last time he had gone into town alone and shuddered. The memory of Soto and his shock collar was a still too fresh in his mind for him to go into Jump City by himself.

_I was alone then, too, _he thought before shaking himself. He didn't resent the others for going out. They were his friends but he couldn't expect them to spend every waking moment with him. He wasn't that needy.

Even if he did wish that someone _had_ invited him along…

_No. _Beast Boy firmly shook his head again. _I can take care of myself. I _can_. So, yeah…stuff to do. I could turn on the TV and play video games. I could go read my comics. Heck, I could go do some training and improve my times. I could even clean my room before someone slaps a hazardous zone sticker on my door._

But the eerie quiet in the Tower seemed too oppressive to even consider doing any of those things. He was almost afraid to move off the couch, as if disturbing the silence with even the smallest of noises would cause something unpleasant to happen. That notion made his skin crawl, and he tried to focus on something else. He noticed the air conditioner was on but the constant hum only made him feel even more creeped out.

…_or I could just sit here and wish the others would get back already._

He hated being alone. Robin said it was because he was unable to entertain himself but that wasn't it, not really. He had grown up on the Doom Patrol, after all; he knew the virtue of being able to find something to amuse himself with that would keep him out of others way. And, sure, he liked having someone around who would play video games with him or listen to his jokes but it wasn't like he had to be the constant center of attention. He didn't mind being the only person in a room. As long as he could hear at least one of his friends milling about in some other part of the Tower, Beast Boy felt absolutely fine.

But being the only one in the Tower, knowing the others weren't with him...it was horrible. It was the feelings that the silence conjured, how they ate at him and made his own thoughts seem too loud to be bearable. It was how big the Tower felt without his friends and how little he felt when he was alone. It was knowledge that no one else was there, that he was on his own. He knew that if his teammates didn't come home, he would be lost. He wouldn't have a clue what to do or who to go to. Hell, they'd only been gone a few hours, and he was barely able to function.

It was the fact that, without the Titans, he had no one. He _was_ no one.

He realized it was terrible to think like this. He should have been grateful to his friends for giving him a home and a purpose, and really, he was.

But it was pathetic how dependent he was upon them. _He_ was pathetic, he knew he was, and just knowing that without them, he would be nothing…

That was almost as bad as being alone.

Beast Boy sighed heavily. _Maybe I should turn a few lights on, brighten this place up a little. It's too dark in he—_"Gaaaahhh!"

Beast Boy yelped and jumped, his thought cut short by a loud _clank_. After a brief moment of panic, he realized with a little shame that the noise had come from the air conditioner. His heart pounded fiercely, and he took several deep breaths to calm his nerves. They didn't help.

He _hated_ being alone. He really, really did.


	18. Purple

A/N: This fic was the product of me writing over the course of many nights at any time between 1AM and 3AM so please excuse the excessive amounts of possibly pointless dialogue. I still find this chapter humorous but that could be sleep deprivation talking. I'll never know unless you review and tell me if I'm right or need a long nap!

…actually, I need that nap no matter what…

Disclaimer: I still do not own the Teen Titans.

016. Purple

Raven glanced at him once and could already feel a headache forming. The pouting look on his face could only mean one thing.

"Cyborg made fun of you again, didn't he?" Raven asked, gathering as much patience as she could muster. She put her book aside, knowing full-well that she would have no peace until one of three things happened—A) she soothed his bruised ego, B) she forced Cyborg to apologize for whatever remark he'd made, or C) the world ended in a fiery apocalypse.

Since option B only happened when she had the proper blackmail material and since she'd already prevented option C, option A was her only choice.

"Yes," Beast Boy told her. He took a seat next to her, resting his elbows on his knees and putting his head in his hands. "You're not going to believe what he said this time, Rae."

She sighed and in a last ditch attempt to stave off the inevitable, Raven demanded, "Beast Boy, what am I—your psychologist or your friend?"

"You're my friend," he answered promptly. He put on his most pitiful expression, allowing his eyes to become large and watery and his lower lip to tremble slightly. "Which means you care about my emotional well-being and self-esteem, right?"

Raven suppressed a groan. She _hated_ when he did that. Not only did he look absolutely ridiculous (not adorable. She didn't care what Happy and Timid thought—that damned face of his looked ridiculous—_not adorable_) making such a face but she also knew she wouldn't be able to deny him anything when he wore it.

Not that she would admit that. To anyone. Ever.

"So I guess I'm going to hear all about it?" The dark girl asked in defeat. For the sake of her reputation, she did at least manage to roll her eyes.

"Yep. And you're _really_ not going to believe what he said this time."

"I'm sure I'll be astounded." Her tone was dry but Beast Boy didn't seem to notice.

"We were talking about uniforms and I noticed he was the only one of us who didn't wear one so I told him he should. He said there was no point and I was like 'but, dude, you're practically walking around naked!' And then Cyborg got all mad and goes 'yeah, well, at least I don't prance around in such a pansy color!' And I told him that I didn't prance, that I didn't even know _how_ to prance but by then he was calling me Beastie Boo the Purple Prancing Fairy King and I tell him how uncool he's being but I couldn't think of any good comebacks to shut him up! And then—" He paused at this point, obviously planning to catch his breath and continue but Raven seized her opportunity quickly.

"So he made fun of your uniform," she surmised flatly.

"He made fun of the _purple_ on my uniform. Even said I looked like a flaming Barney reject," Beast Boy informed her indignantly. At his point, his arms were crossed over his chest and the pouting expression on his face reminded her of a moody four year old. As she often was with Beast Boy, Raven was in awe of how one person could be so mature about some things (she would never forget what he'd told her after the Malchior ordeal…) and so childish about others (…nor would she ever forget the stankball game that came after it).

"Don't you wear the Doom Patrol uniform?" Raven asked.

"Yeah, I do."

"Fine. Tell Cyborg that," she told him, not trying to hid her exasperation.

"Dude, I did!" Beast Boy exclaimed, waving his arms for emphasis. "He just said that I hadn't been on that team for a few years now and that I could have changed my colors any time I wanted."

Raven briefly wondered why rubbing her temples never made her headaches go away before deciding that it was due to the fact that the _source_ of her headaches never went away. "Do you want to change your uniform, Beast Boy?"

The changeling shook his head. "Not really. I like it. Besides, green clashes with every other color except the ones I wear now."

"No, it doesn't," Raven replied firmly. The last thing either of them needed was for him to develop an inferiority complex due to his skin. "But if you like your uniform and want to wear it, then does it really matter what Cyborg says?"

He seemed to think about this for a moment before nodding. "I guess not," he replied. Then a wicked grin appeared on his face. "Oooh, and how 'bout I say that it takes a real man to wear purple? That'd shut him up, wouldn't it?"

"…sure, Beast Boy."

Ego obviously appeased, the green young man leapt off the couch and began to leave the room, calling back as he did. "See, Rae, this is why I come to you—you always know what to do."

The Azarathien watched him leave and shook her head. She had just returned to her book when a timid question reached her ears.

"Uh…hey, Rae?"

Silently counting to ten, Raven looked back to her friend. "What now, Beast Boy?"

He shifted nervously, staring at the floor. "I…I don't _really_ look like a flaming Barney reject, right?"

Raven blinked. She felt her lips twitch and barely had enough time to raise her book to cover her smile.

"No, Beast Boy," she said. She was proud of herself for maintaining her normal tone. "You do not look like a flaming Barney reject."

"You promise?"

"I promise. I also swear never to call you Beastie Boo the Purple Prancing Fairy King."

Beast Boy seemed to brighten considerably at her pledge. "Thanks, Rae."

"You're welcome. Now go annoy Cyborg."


	19. Broken

A/N: Well…it wasn't quite as long between updates, right? Insert author's really big, really cheesy, really apologetic smile here

On the bright side, I do plan to put up a Halloween-themed oneshot within the next three days. And it's really freaking long, which will hopefully make up for the fact that I'm only uploading one chapter this time around. And what a disjointed chapter it is, folks. This one takes place a little while after The Beast Within (told you I was going to do more with that) and I know it focuses a little more on Robin than BB but there's a reason for that. I could use this oneshot to show just how pissed Beast Boy was at Robin for his actions toward him in this episode (and I kind of do that anyway because, hey, who wouldn't be pissed if what was done to Beast Boy was done to them) but if that was all this chapter was about, I would be doing the Boy Wonder injustice by making him the villain. I don't want to bash the character like that.

Oh, and the last line (well, not all of it. Just what Robin calls himself) of this chapter belongs to GuardianSaiyoko as she used in first in her fic _One Which Makes The Heart Run Over_. I highly recommend reading her stuff because she's an amazing writer. In fact, after reading and reviewing this (Please? Reviews are very helpful and I would be very grateful), go read and review her work. You won't be disappointed.

I'm done talking now.

Disclaimer: I still do not own Teen Titans. Dammit.

071. Broken

As he studied the latest robbery statistics for the city, Robin waited impatiently for Beast Boy to come to the evidence room. After two weeks of furious glares and clipped words from his teammate, Robin had finally had enough of Beast Boy's attitude. As the leader of the Titans, it was his responsibility to make sure team dynamics remained amicable or, at the very least, tolerant, and the green teen's sudden but obvious hostility toward him threatened to disrupt that balance. Whatever the changeling's problem was, the Boy Wonder felt it was high time for him to get over it.

"You wanted to talk to me?"

He turned to see Beast Boy standing in the doorway and frowned at the boy's sullen expression. "Yes, I did," Robin answered. "Come in, Beast Boy, and sit down."

Beast Boy did as he was asked and a moment later, the two Titans were across from each other with only a table to separate them. A tense hush filled the room. Usually, the changeling was compelled to fill up such silences with a corny joke, and Robin wanted to give him enough time to do that. When he didn't, the Boy Wonder sighed.

"Look, I'll get straight to the point—you've been ticked about something for a while now, and it's messing with the team's relations. I want to know what the problem is, Beast Boy." Robin tried to keep his voice firm but cordial.

Beast Boy's eyes narrowed. "You _know_ what my problem is."

Robin frowned. He didn't like the other teen's tone. He had wanted this conversation to be civil but if Beast Boy was going to act like this, he would just have to fight fire with fire.

"Obviously, I don't," Robin replied shortly, crossing his arms over his chest. "So why don't you enlighten me?"

Beast Boy stared at him for a moment before emitting a short, strangely angry laugh. "I shouldn't be surprised. You didn't see anything wrong with interrogating me so I guess you wouldn't get why it would piss me off."

Robin's frown deepened as he realized what was being referred to. "You're still angry about that? Beast Boy, I think it's time to get over it."

The green teenager glared, and the venom in his voice was palpable. "Don't tell me what to do when you don't even do what you're supposed to do."

"What?"

"When my DNA got messed up and I turned into that…that thing, you just wanted to stick me in some cell. You didn't try to help me."

Robin gave his teammate an incredulous look. "Beast Boy, it's not like I wanted to put you in jail but with everything that happened…how was I supposed to know something was wrong with you?"

He had worded the last sentence poorly but realized it far too late. Later, Robin would compare the next few minutes to what it must feel like when one is in the middle of a hydrogen bomb. There was a split second of eerie silence as a shock look passed over the changeling's face. Then, before the Boy Wonder could even register the change, Beast Boy was on his feet, fists clenched and yelling.

"How were you supposed to know? _How were you supposed to know_?" The changeling repeated furiously. "How the hell _didn't_ you know? The stuff I did, the way I acted—you should know that's not me! _You should know_! You're our leader, Robin! Don't you know your team?

"_You_ were the one who warned me about the chemicals, too! Didn't you think that something might be wrong with me after I got splashed? _Didn't you_? Cyborg even said that something was screwing with my DNA! Shouldn't that have tipped you off? Or have you just been looking for an excuse to get rid of me all this time and this was the perfect opportunity for it?" Beast Boy raged. His voice, angrier and somehow deeper than Robin had ever heard it, echoed through the room. "And you would've killed me, too, wouldn't you? You were so sure you were right about me being the one that hurt Raven that you'da _killed_ _me_!"

"No!" Robin's jaw tightened. "Titans don't kill, Beast Boy," he ground out through clenched teeth.

"They don't treat friends like criminals either!" Beast Boy shouted, slamming his fists on the table.

There was a pause after that as the green young man glared and took shaky breaths while Robin tried to think of some way to refute the changeling's last statement.

He wanted to maintain that he had made not just the right decision but the _only_ decision he could have made under the circumstances. After all, the evidence had been overwhelming. Beast Boy had been behaving belligerently all week, adopting a sullen attitude Robin most often saw in the young thugs that inhabited the dark corners of Jump City. That alarming aggression had finally crossed the line in an argument with Raven, when the changeling tried to attack her and probably would have had the team not intervened.

So when Beast Boy, in what had come to be collectively called his Beast form, had showed up with an injured, unconscious Raven in his teeth, Robin made what he still desperately wanted to believe was the best and only conclusion he could have drawn—Beast Boy had been the one to hurt Raven. He committed a criminal act and therefore, Robin had been forced to treat his teammate as a criminal. There just wasn't another decision he could have made.

His conscience knew differently, however. It reminded him that there had been many options, many courses of action that he might have taken—and he had obviously selected the wrong one.

_You reacted just like _he_ would have, just like he's always done with you. Point fingers first, ask questions later, and never apologize, _his conscience said. Robin inwardly flinched as he knew exactly who his conscience meant but that realization simply made the Boy Wonder feel all the more defensive as he tried to convince himself that he wasn't like his old mentor.

"Beast Boy, I didn't have a choice!" Robin finally shouted. He was sure he was just making excuses now but didn't know what else to do.

A new wave a fury washed over the changeling's face. "Yes, you did! You could have trusted me! I've trusted you for years so why couldn't you do that for me? You would have trusted Cyborg or Starfire or Raven—why not me, Robin?"

This time, Robin couldn't think of anything to say to defend himself and instead turned away. In the back of his mind, he realized that this was the part of the conversation where he dropped the self-rightous attitude and just said he was sorry but it wasn't enough to just apologize. He knew he should anyway but at this point, what good would it do? The damage was obviously done, and Robin feared there wasn't anything he could do to undo it. He could still see Beast Boy's reflection in the metal cabinet he was facing and noticed the changeling was shaking his head in disgust. A moment later, the Boy Wonder was beyond surprised to discover the disgust was not directed at him but rather at Beast Boy himself.

"You know something? I used to look up to you." The statement felt more like a punch to the stomach than words. It forced Robin to turn back around to face his teammate and for the first time, the Boy Wonder noticed just how much hurt was in his teammate's eyes. "The people I used to live with…they were always going on about how amazing you were, how strong and smart and great. You were my idol so you can imagine how cool it was when I finally got to meet you. God, I even called you 'sir'," Beast Boy continued with a laugh that was so uncharacteristically bitter Robin could barely believe the green young man had made it. "I wanted to be just like you but obviously I was never up to snuff. Now, though, I don't know what I was thinking."

He was heading to the door, and as much as he wanted to, Robin couldn't find the words to stop him. "I don't ever want to be like you, Robin," Beast Boy finished. He was standing in the doorway but not facing the Boy Wonder. "Not ever."

"Beast Boy…" Robin finally began but he wasn't sure where to go with his statement. Not when the changeling's words were so disturbingly similar to the ones he'd spoken once, when his own hero had let him down for the final time.

"_I don't want to be like you, Batman. Not now, not ever."_

But he _was_ like him. He was, and that fact had probably ruined the delicate bond between the Boy Wonder and the changeling.

"Beast Boy, wait a minute, I—"

"Save it, dude. I don't want to hear it." With that, Beast Boy was gone.

Robin was left alone in the room, holding the pieces of a broken friendship in his hands.

_Son of a Bat_, he thought painfully. _I'm still the son of a Bat._


	20. Christmas

**Author's Note**: So remember that three-days-and-I'll-have-another-chapter-out thing? Obviously it didn't happen, and I am deeply sorry about that. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and to everyone who has waited so patiently for this one. But at least this time around, I do have a good reason for not posting. I'm not going into the details here but long story short—my best friend, who is also my roommate, was brutally mugged on campus the day after I last posted and the aftermath of that has been messy, to say the least. Needless to say, this fic had to be put on the backburner for awhile. Consider this a public service announcement to all you people who live on a college campus—DO NOT GO OUT ALONE AT NIGHT. Even if where you're going is only across the street and even if it's early in the evening, get someone to go with you. Girls, this goes double for you.

Okay…now that I've completely destroyed that warm, fuzzy feeling Christmas fics are supposed to produce (sorry about that), I would like to wish everyone happy holidays. Please read and review but more importantly, please have a good holiday whatever you celebrate. Go drink some eggnog or something.

And by the way, there really is a _How Santa Conquered the Martians_.

092. Christmas

They came every year. They swept the nation the day after Thanksgiving, and it was generally accepted that they wouldn't let up until after New Years. They covered every genre and included every walk of life, making them possibly the most inclusive and wide-spread productions ever known to mankind.

They were Christmas-themed shows and movies.

Almost every evening, such characters as Kris Kringle, Ebenezer Scrooge, Frosty the Snowman, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer invaded Titans Tower by way of the television. Cyborg called watching the movies a Christmas tradition while Raven referred to them as an epidemic. Beast Boy supposed they were a bit of both but that didn't stop him from parking himself in front of the TV every evening.

Surprisingly, though, it was the older Christmas movies that Beast Boy favored. Sure, he liked to watch the more modern classics—_How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ (even after Starfire's first viewing of it had prompted her to attempt to find out the size of _his_ heart for fear that he, too, was of the "Grinch species"), _The Nightmare Before Christmas _(although Robin maintained that one had more to do with Halloween), and _The Muppets Christmas Carol_ (which _was_ a classic no matter what Raven said)—but they didn't get to him the way movies from the golden age of Hollywood did. He knew it was cheesy but the newer films lacked the special sparks of warmth and good cheer that Beast Boy felt were integral to any movie having to do with his beloved holiday.

Unfortunately, Jump City's local TV channels seemed to disagree and mostly showed the contemporary stuff. The older movies played every once in a while but Beast Boy rarely got to see them as there always seemed to be an attack on the city when they were on. The changeling was certain there was some kind of nefarious conspiracy going on and made a mental note to talk Robin into investigating it someday.

Thankfully, on Christmas Eve, one station decided to play a twenty-four hour marathon of Christmas movies. Beast Boy's favorites were not going to be aired until near midnight but the changeling was bound and determined to watch them. Even after Starfire had dragged the Titans off to bed at around ten to make sure "Saint Nicholas the Jolly and Old" would deliver their presents, Beast Boy snuck back out to finish the marathon.

_Jim Carey makes a good Grinch and Tim Burton makes cool movies but they ain't got nothing Bing Crosby or James Stewart, _Beast Boy thought contentedly as he settled into the couch. The usual classics like _It's A Wonderful Life_, _White Christmas_, and the original _Miracle On 34th Street_ had already come on, and now in the wee hours of the morning, lesser known films were playing.

Suddenly, the room's overhead lights flipped on and Beast Boy gave a startled yelp. He furiously rubbed his eyes as they adjusted to the sudden brightness of the room and was finally able to look up to see his intruder.

Raven calmly stared back at him. "Aren't you supposed to be in bed?"

"Aren't _you_?" Beast Boy demanded, still rubbing and squinting. "Why are you up?"

The dark Titan shrugged lightly. "Couldn't sleep. I think Starfire might have dumped some sugar into my tea in some misguided attempt to get me in the holiday spirit. You?"

The changeling gestured to the TV. "Christmas movies. I've been waiting all year to see these."

Raven eyed the screen cautiously for a moment before taking a seat next to him. "This isn't _How Santa Conquered the Martians_ again, is it?"

"Nah, that was on earlier. This is _Meet Me In St. Louis_." Beast Boy frowned at her perplexed expression. "You know, with Judy Garland? The chick that did _The_ _Wizard of Ox_?"

"_The Wizard of Oz_," Raven corrected absently as she turned her attention to the book she'd brought with her. "And no, I've never heard of this movie."

"Seriously? Wow, Rae, you've been missing out. This one is like the best of the best," the green young man happily informed her.

"Hmm," Raven replied without looking up. She waited for a moment, expecting Beast Boy to continue rambling and was a bit surprised when he didn't. When she looked up, she was even more surprised to see that he was completely absorbed in the movie. Not that it was odd for Beast Boy to be totally entranced by the TV—it was just strange for him to be _silent_ while entranced, and it was even stranger to see him pay so much attention to a movie without special effects and explosions.

"I wouldn't think that you would be into films like these," she told him.

The changeling smiled slightly. "Yeah, they don't really seem like me, do they? But Rita loves the old Hollywood classics so I grew up watching them. She had a bunch of these old Christmas movies on VHS, and every December, the whole team would sit down and watch them together. Well, most of us would—Cliff would usually be running back and forth to the kitchen to make sure his garlic pecans and gingerbread cookies weren't burning," Beast Boy explained with a small laugh, remembering Robotman rushing around in the blue pastel apron he had. The laugh was soon replaced by a less cheerful expression. "It also was the only time of year that Mento and I really got along. We actually made a point of trying to act like a…well, a family. Larry used to joke that it took some pretty potent Christmas magic to get us the two of us act civil."

The green Titan paused for a moment and fiddled with the remote, not changing the channel but turning the device over and over in his hands. He kept his gaze focused on the remote as well, and Raven could tell by the slight hurt in his voice that, despite the deep significance of the old Christmas movies, the memories behind them were bittersweet.

"Larry was probably right. It would have taken some kind of magic to stop me and Mento from fighting," Beast Boy continued absently, obviously caught in memories of Christmases past.

"Beast Boy, you're a little old to believe in Santa Claus," Raven informed him. She was fully aware that wasn't what he had meant but was attempting to remove the sad expression from his face. Raven couldn't call herself an expert on the holiday but she did know that it was not a time for depressing thoughts. It seemed especially wrong for Beast Boy to be thinking such thoughts at this time of year but Raven couldn't pinpoint exactly why that was.

The changeling snorted. "Dude, that's not what I'm talking about."

"Then what are you talking about?" The dark girl asked. If Beast Boy realized she was just trying to draw him away from his gloomy reflections, he certainly didn't show it as he launched into an explanation.

"Christmas magic is like…like goodwill toward your fellow man and stuff. It's about all the charities we do because we know some of those kids won't have a Christmas if we don't find a way to make one happen, and the way we go caroling at the retirement center because we know the old folks like to hear us. It's about giving without expecting to receive and making someone's Christmas wish come true and being able to say corny stuff like this without being ridiculed," Beast Boy finished, sending Raven a pointed look. He then paused thoughtfully. "And anyway, Star still believes in Santa."

Raven rolled her eyes but he knew she was amused. "Only because our fearless leader has yet to work up the courage to tell her the truth."

They sat quietly for a long time, and Beast Boy noticed that Raven was paying less attention to her book and more to what was going on in the movie. It wasn't until Judy Garland began to sing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" that she spoke again.

"Kind of sad for a Christmas song," Raven commented quietly.

Beast Boy nodded but didn't take his eyes away from the screen. "Yeah but it's one of the best. Most Christmas songs make you want to sing along but this one's different. It makes you quiet, and when you listen to it, you feel—I mean, really _feel_. Stuff made nowadays doesn't do that."

Raven watched him for a second with an expression he couldn't place. "You really like these movies, don't you?"

Beast Boy grinned at her. "Yeah, I do."

His companion nodded slightly, and the rest of the movie was watched in companionable silence. When it was over, Raven got up and said she was returning to bed. She turned off the Christmas tree lights and made her way to the switch on the wall to turn the overhead lights off as well.

"Um, hey, Rae? Do you want to watch _Desk Set_ with me? It's coming on next, and it has Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy in it," Beast Boy asked suddenly. Raven paused, looking a little surprised by the question, despite the fact that he often asked her to watch movies with him. This time was different, though, and they both knew it. Beast Boy was actually a little surprised at himself as well. After the things he told her tonight, it was obvious that these movies held a personal significant to him, and an invitation to watch them with him was…well, personal. "I mean, it's cool if you don't want to. But I…uh, I would really like it if you would."

The overhead lights flipped off and without them, the TV didn't provide much light for the common room so the changeling was left in near darkness. Inwardly sighing, Beast Boy figured that Raven had decided to go back to her room and tried not to let himself feel too disappointed.

A split-second later, however, someone spoke. "One more movie couldn't hurt," Raven said, and Beast Boy jumped slightly. Squinting, his eyes quickly became more adjusted to the dark, and he realized that his dark teammate had indeed stayed.

For the first time, Raven had stayed to watch a movie with him.

When she sat back down, she was close enough that their shoulders were touching, though barely. Still, it was enough that Beast Boy noticed it and knew that if he noticed it, Raven surely did. Not wanting to make a big deal out of it or give any indication that his heart was pounding in his ears, the changeling cast a side-long glance at his companion. In the electric glow of the television, he was almost sure she was blushing.

She caught him looking at her and gave a tiny smile. "Tis the season, right?"

Beast Boy returned her smile. "Merry Christmas, Raven."

"Merry Christmas, Beast Boy."


	21. New Year

**Author's Note**: I think this chapter turned out a little better than the last one. I love holiday-themed fics—but they really aren't my cup of tea so I'm willing to bet this update is not my best work. If anyone has any suggests on how I can improve on anything, review and tell me! And happy New Year!

095. New Year

Robin wasn't much for parties so needless to say, the others were more than a little surprised when he suggested they throw a New Years party for the entire Titan family.

"Look, we've had a rough eighteen months, what with Trigon, the Brotherhood of Evil, and all of the changes in the city. I think we could use a bit of relaxation and fun." The Boy Wonder shrugged at his team's collective shocked expression. "Plus, it's either this or we go to the mayor's formal gathering where we'll have to wear fancy clothes and get fawned over and sucked up to by a bunch of pretentious snobs."

The Titans exchanged looks, and Beast Boy put on a thoughtful expression. "Well, in that case—LET'S PARTY!"

Transmission invitations were sent out, and on New Years Eve, the top of Titans Tower was decorated with streamers, colored lights, and buffet tables. Cyborg had set up a large stereo system to play an assortment of music Almost all of the honorary Titans had shown up, and Beast Boy honestly wasn't sure how they all managed to fit on the roof. The changeling scanned the crowd, looking for one person in particular, and when he saw the blue hood, a grin lit up his green features. Weaving his way through the throngs of teenagers, Beast Boy made his way over to the corner of the roof where a girl with violet hair was standing.

"Heya, Rae," he said. He tried not to sound too excited but he still came off more exuberant than usual. He almost couldn't help it, though. The two had fallen asleep together on the couch during their early Christmas morning movie marathon, and Beast Boy had woken up to find Raven's head on his shoulder. When she woke up a few minutes later, Raven made eye contact with him for a few seconds but didn't say anything. Instead, she had simply stood up and gotten a cup of tea. He had just been working up the nerve to say something when the others had walked in. Neither of them had ever brought it up but since that moment, Beast Boy had not been able to stop smiling whenever he was near her.

Raven nodded in greeting and then raised an eyebrow at him. "Someone's in a good mood."

"Well, _yeah_. This is a party—you're supposed to be happy at parties," Beast Boy replied. _And I'm standing next to you. That helps. _"That includes you, Rae. It's New Years, and you are at an awesome party with the coolest green guy you'll ever meet. Be happy!"

"Whoo-hoo," Raven deadpanned, twirling a finger in the air. Beast Boy laughed.

Located in southern California, Jump City was not the coldest of places even in the middle of winter. Still, it was a cool December night, and the dark girl and the changeling were standing closer than usual to conserve heat.

At least, that was the excuse Beast Boy planned to use if anyone asked.

"A lot's changed this year, huh?" It was more an observation than a question but he was relieved she answered anyway. For some bizarre reason, he was determined to keep this conversation going as long as possible.

"Almost everything," Raven replied. She blew the steam coming from her mug and sipped its contents cautiously. "I'm glad it's over."

"Yeah, me too," Beast Boy nodded. Then he smiled and gestured toward the assembled Titans. "But, hey, we're still here, right? Somehow, some way, we're all still around. That has to count for something."

Raven followed the motion of his hand and felt her lips twitch into a small smile. Robin was gently explaining to Starfire that lighting sparklers with starbolts was a _bad_ idea while Herald glowered at Cyborg, who was attempting to dance with Bumblebee while flirting with Kole without either girl noticing. Pantha and Red Star were flirting shamelessly—or flirting as shamelessly as a Russian and a luchadore could. Jericho was shooting uneasy looks toward Speedy and Aqualad while the two argued over the questionable humanity of eating the sushi on the food table, and Kid Flash, Mas, and Menos were all trading sprinting tips. Wildebeast and Hot Spot were vying for the attention of Wonder Girl. Argent and Jinx were simply standing back with amused looks on their faces and watching everyone. For the first time in a long time, all felt right with the world. Chaotic and maybe a tad dysfunctional but…right.

"You're right," Raven replied. "It does count. For everything."

Beast Boy's smile turned into a large grin at her agreement. Then he wracked his brain as to how to keep her talking to him. "So, uh…is that tea you're drinking?" He gave himself a mental slap after asking. _Way to go, BB. What a conversation starter._

Thankfully, she seemed equally interested in talking to him and was willing to go with his lame attempts at small talk. "It's the green tea Cyborg got me for Christmas," she told him, and he wondered if he had imagined her emphasis on the word 'green.' Raven took a glance at the cup in his hand. "Eggnog? I'm surprised."

"Why? There's no alcohol in it, it's going go bad if I don't drink it, and there's nothing wrong with eggs," he replied and then paused. "Well, there's nothing wrong with _pasteurized_ eggs."

"Of course."

They continued their pleasant conversation (although he was tempted, the changeling didn't dare think of their exchanges as flirting) for the majority of the evening until Beast Boy suddenly noticed that the people around him and Raven were pairing off. He couldn't figure out why until he glanced at the large digital clock Cyborg had set up on the roof; it was 11:56. He nudged Raven. "So, what do you bet Rob kisses Star at midnight?"

The dark girl smirked. "I think a better bet would be which girl Cyborg plans to kiss."

Beast Boy chuckled. "Oooh, that's going to be interesting. Who…" The changeling trailed off mid-sentence as his thoughts took a new direction.

It was less than four minutes away from midnight. People kissed at midnight. People were already standing by (or, in Cyborg's case, between) the person (or, again in Cyborg's case, the persons) they planned to kiss.

Beast Boy was standing next to Raven. At midnight (now only three minutes and twelve seconds away), he would probably still be standing next to her.

_So what am I supposed to do then?_

Trying not to panic, Beast Boy went over his options. He could always walk away right now, while there was still time to go. But that wouldn't really work because Raven was smart so she would probably realize why he walked away and that might hurt her. Or maybe she wouldn't be hurt but then _he_ would be because he would know for sure that she didn't want to kiss him. Not that he _wanted_ to kiss Raven because, well, she was Raven and you didn't just go around kissing Raven. Only…Beast Boy was beginning to realize he kinda did want to kiss Raven but had no idea how to go about it because…well, again she was _Raven_ and no one could just kiss—

"Beast Boy!" Raven's voice interrupted his thoughts, causing him to snap back to reality.

He shot her a sheepish smile. "Sorry, I zoned out for a second. Did you say something?"

"Just that they're about to start the countdown." The violet-haired girl gave him a strange look. "Are you okay? You look a little…minty."

"No, no, I'm good," he replied with a nervous laugh. He instinctively knew that informing her that his sudden pallor was due to the fact that he didn't know whether he should kiss her or not was a bad plan.

Raven cocked her head and took a step closer to him. "Are you sure? You weren't this pale a second ago…"

In the background, Beast Boy could hear the other Titans as they began chanting the final ten seconds of the year. Their voices were mostly drowned out by the pounding of his heart in his ears but he could still hear them. "I'm okay, Rae. Seriously," he said, trying very hard to ignore the fact that his voice had gone up a few octaves.

She was suddenly close enough to him that she could feel his forehead. "Then why are you turning a darker shade of green?"

Was it his imagination or did she sound oddly amused? And since when did Raven feel foreheads? And why was her hand still on his forehead? And why was her hand moving down his face?

_And why is everyone screaming 'happy new year' when I still don't know what to d—_

A warm hand on his cheek and a gentle pressure on his lips completely derailed his train of thought. It took him a moment to realize that Raven was kissing him, and by the time his brain registered that he really needed to kiss her back, she'd pulled away.

"That's the second time _I've_ shown you affection and _you_ haven't reacted," She said before smirking at him. "Try to keep up."

He gaped at her. "I—_wow_—you and—kiss—really nice—" Beast Boy stopped short and cleared his throat. "I mean…uh…I don't know what I mean."

Raven smiled lightly before walking away.

Sometimes one kiss can change everything, and this was undoubtedly one of those times. They both knew their relationship would definitely be different after this.

But as he watched Raven walk away, Beast Boy decided that this was one change that he didn't think he would mind so much.


	22. Fixed

**Author's Note**: Hey, look at this, I'm updating again after only one day. This must be a sign of the apocalypse…or maybe it could just be a Christmas gift/apology-for-not-updating-for-almost-two-month gift. I'd say it's the latter.

This oneshot is a sequel to the "Broken" chapter. I originally planned to write another scene between Robin and Beast Boy (and who knows, maybe I'll eventually write that or another one like it. I always did wish those two had done more bonding during the show) but late-night inspiration hit and this was written. So enjoy, everyone—and once again, happy holidays.

And since I totally forgot to include a disclaimer in the last two chapters, the one in this fic counts for all three.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the Teen Titans, and even though they are on my Christmas list, I highly doubt I'll get them.

072. Fixed

When there were disagreements between Titans, it was usually Starfire that acted as the peacemaker and forced the arguers to make up. However, this time the situation was vastly different for two reasons. The first was that the argument had been one of the most explosive ones the Titans had ever seen.

The second was that Raven was acting as the mediator. The dark girl was absolutely determined to force Robin and Beast Boy to fix their relationship, if for no other reason than the tension in the Tower was so thick that it was a wonder no one had choked on it yet, and she couldn't meditate well with that disturbance. Plus, Raven thought of herself as the third most involved person in the situation and as such, she believed she had some responsibility to make sure everything eventually turned out alright.

However, after realizing that only their resident Tamarean held the power to make the Boy Wonder step out of his comfort zone, Raven chose to have the green changeling be the catalyst for change.

Now all she had to do was convince him.

She found him on the rocks outside the Tower. He was skipping stones but Raven could feel the anger radiating off of him.

_He's not in the best of moods_, Raven thought flatly. _Super._

The changeling turned and gave a slight wave. "Hey, Raven. Did Cyborg send you out here?"

"No. Why do you ask?"

"Cause he just tried to talk me into patching things up with Robin. I told him there was no way in hell I was going to talk to that walking stoplight, and he got kinda mad at me. I came out here before the two of us could start arguing but can you believe him? I mean, why on earth would I want to talk to…" Beast Boy trailed off as he noticed the uncomfortable look on Raven's face. He groaned and sat down. "Aw, man. Et tu, Raven?"

"Afraid so, Cesar." Raven took a seat next to him. She could feel frustration as well as a slight sense of betrayal rising in him and knew she'd have to talk fast if she wanted to get through to him. "Beast Boy, just listen. You have every right to be angry with Robin. He betrayed your trust and your friendship, and neither of those offenses is easy to forgive. They shouldn't have happened, and I'm sorry they did."

"_You_ have nothing to be sorry about. Nothing that happened was your fault," Beast Boy replied. "But I think you're wasting your time with this. I'm not in a forgiving mood."

"But you _are_ going to have to forgive him sooner or later," his companion informed him. She rubbed her temples. "Preferably sooner. The negative emotions you two are giving off are giving me a headache."

Beast Boy shook his head. "No way. He hasn't even apologized."

"Of course he hasn't. He's _Robin_."

"Oh, so that makes him above saying 'sorry?'" The changeling demanded. The anger in him spiked sharply, and he threw a rock as hard as he could into the water. The large splash it made did little to soothe him.

"No, it just makes it a lot harder for him to." The green teenager continued to glower at the ocean. Raven sighed. She'd known that any sort of talk regarding the fight would be a powder keg for her friend and honestly, she couldn't blame him for being so angry. He had looked up to Robin and for the Boy Wonder to show just how little faith he had in the changeling hurt Beast Boy a lot more than he was willing to show. "Beast Boy, he knows just how badly he's messed up, and he feels extremely guilty—which is why he hasn't said anything. He's got it in his head that any reconciliation between you two is impossible. I know that's not true but since I can't get him out of his funk, I need you to be the bigger person and go talk to him."

"Like I said before—no way in hell."

She could feel her patience wearing thin. "Beast Boy, please. This is beginning to affect the entire Tower. You two have got to settle this."

"Then _he_ can come talk to _me_," the green teen replied stubbornly. "Because I refuse to go groveling to him."

Raven shot him an annoyed look. "Somewhere in that thick skull of yours is a mature individual. Could you ask him to come out and continue this conversation with me?"

He returned her irritation two-fold. "I am being mature. I've been being mature. I didn't hit that self-righteous ass when I had the chance so I'd say I'm being pretty mature!"

"Okay, your argument would have a little more clout if you wouldn't use grammatically incorrect phrases like 'been being' in your sentences," the violet-haired girl informed him as she tried to manage her frustration. "And stop insulting Robin. It's not helping."

"Why are you defending him?!" Beast Boy suddenly shouted. His anger had boiled over at this point, and as exasperated as it made her, Raven knew she had to let him say his piece or he would shut her out entirely. "Jesus, Raven, he threatened to throw me in jail for hurting you! I would never hurt you or any of the other, including Robin, but he was still going to send me away! So how can you go against me and be on his side?"

They stared at each other for a long moment, both glaring furiously. Beast Boy's expression was the first to soften, and Raven could knew he was regretting his last statement as he turned his gaze back to the ocean.

"Beast Boy, look at me," Raven ordered more than said. The changeling sheepishly did as he was told. "There are two things I never want you to forget. Number one: do not talk to me like that. Number two: do not question whose side I'm on. Not now, not ever, not about anything. Got it?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I just…it isn't fair, Raven," Beast Boy said painfully. "You guys are like—you guys _are_ my family, and you don't even trust me."

"That's not true," Raven replied sharply. She could finally see that this conversation was getting somewhere and was not about to let his self-pity derail it. Still she could tell by the way her friend's shoulders slumped that her tone had been a little more forceful than needed so she made her voice more gentle. "Beast Boy, we do trust you. You are our teammate and our friend, and as many weird situations as you've gotten us into, you have never let us down. We all know that. _Robin_ knows that."

"Then why didn't he believe me?"

The dark girl used her powers to send a rock skipping. "Because he was scared and confused, and he made a bad decision. I'm not going to excuse what his actions, Beast Boy. Robin was wrong to make the choice he did. It was a mistake—but thankfully one of Robin's better qualities is that he never makes the same mistake twice. He didn't with Red X, and he won't with this."

"But how do I know he won't?" he asked. "No offense but I'm having a little trouble putting my faith in the guy right now."

Raven fixed him with a steady look. "Then you're going to have to work on trusting him, too."

Beast Boy didn't say anything for a long time, so long that Raven feared that he wasn't going to respond at all. Finally, though, he sighed and stood up. "Yeah…yeah, I guess should."

Raven watched him walk toward the Tower. "Where are you going?"

The changeling cast a weak grin over his shoulder. "To talk to Robin. I'm not promising that we're going to be best buddies right away…but we'll work this out."

His companion nodded, glad that the feud was finally coming to a close. "Good. And Beast Boy?" Raven called out.

"Yeah?" The changeling turned.

"In case you didn't catch it earlier—I'm always on your side."


	23. Scent

A/N: Okay, so it's short and it's not the Robin and Beast Boy conversation I expected to post next but this popped into my head at about 4 AM and it's a general rule that if story ideas are going to come to you at that time, you better go ahead and write them 'cause you won't remember them later. Plus, I liked it. Enjoy, please review because reviews make magic, and expect to see an update soon. I know, I know, I've said that before and not done anything for months but the creative juices are flowing again so the writing is coming much easier.

…and I have probably just jinxed myself. Lovely.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans. I also do not endorse the activity mention in this chapter. It's a nasty habit, and it will kill you, which will make your mother cry and who wants to do that?

067. Smell

It was so late that it was almost early but the second Beast Boy was certain that Robin had returned from the roof and gone into his room, the changeling was pounding on the Boy Wonder's door.

Robin answered and looked more than a little surprised to see him there. "Beast Boy, what—"

"Give them to me."

Robin stared. "Uh…give _what_ to you?"

The changeling rolled his eyes. "Don't even try, dude. All the mouthwash and detergent in the world can't hide the smell of tobacco and smoke from this nose. Hand them over."

Shifting almost imperceptibly, Robin clutched the packet of cigarettes tighter behind his back. "I still don't know what you're talking about."

Beast Boy glared and crossed his arms. "Fine. Either you give them to me—or I go and get Starfire. You know she's been really into those anti-drug commercials lately. Imagine what she'd do to you if she caught you with cigarettes."

That particular thought caused Robin's stomach to drop a few inches, and he hesitantly put the packet into Beast Boy's outstretched hand. "They aren't drugs," the Boy Wonder said, obviously feeling uncomfortable with the odd role reversal taking place.

"Might as well be," the green teenager replied. He stared at the packet with disgust. "Newark? Man, cigarettes are bad but _cheap_ cigarettes are worse. You haven't been at this long, have you?"

Robin had to consciously try not to drop his jaw. "_You_ smoke?"

"What? No." Robin looked skeptical, and Beast Boy's shifting was much more detectable. "Okay, fine, I did once—but at least I knew to buy the good kind."

The Boy Wonder leaned against his door frame. The conversation was far more relaxed now that he knew that Beast Boy had also had an embarrassing I-got-busted incident. "So did Elasti-girl catch you?"

Beast Boy snorted. "I wish. It happened a little over a year ago, and Raven was the one who caught me. I was actually dumb enough to think smoking would make me look cool and when I refused to put it out after she told me to, she did it for me—by using her powers to dunk me in the ocean. And then she kept dunking me, one time for every cigarette in the pack. While giving me a lecture about the dangers of lung cancer and second-hand smoke. Safe to say, I learned my lesson." He looked down at the pack in his hand before facing his leader again. "So why'd you start?"

"Stress relief," Robin replied with a shrug, knowing it was a lame reason but not having any other.

"There are better ways to do that, you know. Ones that won't have you smelling like an ash tray," Beast Boy told him. "Why don't you take up a hobby, one that doesn't include criminals or the evidence room? How about building those ships in the little glass bottles?"

"I think those might be more of a stress inducer than reliever but I'll think of something." Beast Boy nodded and set off down the hall toward his own room. Robin watched him go for a second before calling out to him. "Hey, BB? Um…thanks."

Beast Boy flashed a grin. "No problem, dude. I'm just glad I caught you before Rae did."

"Me, too," Robin said before shutting his door. As he walked to his bed, he began thinking. Maybe the ship-in-a-bottle suggestion wasn't so bad. After all, Starfire would want to know how he did it…


	24. Outsides

**A/N**: This fic takes place a few weeks after _Go!_ when the Titans are just starting out as a team. Yes, I do mean for Beast Boy to sound a bit young because in that episode, it was quite obvious that he was younger than the others. No, I do not mean for Cyborg to be considered a jerk because we all know that he is anything but. The reason for his attitude in this chapter is that…well, he kind of had one in _Go!_ Can't say I blame him—if my life had been turned upside down by having half my body constructed out of cybernetics, I would not be in the best of moods, either. He's still very uncomfortable with himself, and I was really trying to show that here.

Thank you to all the people who reviewed the last update. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. Please keep reviewing, and expect another update pretty soon. I have a few more fics that are almost, almost done. I'm just working out a few kinks.

**Disclaimer**: I still do not own the Teen Titans.

005. Outsides

"Uh…hey, Cyborg?" A hesitant voice echoed through the garage. The voice was followed by an equally nervous Beast Boy.

Not even bothering to turn, Cyborg leaned his head against the cool metal of the car. He had spent hours working on the old armored car Robin wanted to use as their mode of transportation and had little to show for his time. He need some parts that were not scheduled to arrive until later in the week, and until then, the most he could do were small, tedious tasks that required more patience than he had at the moment. He didn't feel like dealing with the team's youngest member, not when the kid had been bugging him all day to help set up the Gamestation they'd bought.

"What is it _now_, Beast Boy?" Cyborg grunted, continuing to work on the car's engine. Maybe if he appeared busy enough, the changeling would go away sooner.

Beast Boy, despite his obvious apprehension, was smiling and looked particularly proud of himself. "I managed to set up the Gamestation by myself!"

"Good for you. Why don't you go play it?" The half-metal man hoped the force in his voice would be enough for Beast Boy to pick up on. He had managed to be civil during all of the green changeling's visits but his patience was wearing thin. Very thin.

"Actually, I was wondering if maybe you would play a few rounds of Mega Monkeys with me?" The green youth asked hopefully. He was almost bouncing with excitement, causing Cyborg to think (for the ninth time that day) that the kid had far too much energy. "We have the first and the second one, and they're both pretty cool."

Cyborg clenched his jaw and slammed the car hood shut. The boy just didn't pick up on subtleties. "Man, it's like I've been telling you all day. I'm doing this and you need to go find something else for you to do. No, you can't help here. No, I am not going to take a break. No, I am not going to play video games with you. Just _no_, okay?"

"Oh." It was like watching a balloon deflate. All the cheerfulness and enthusiasm that was practically radiating off Beast Boy seemed to melt away to be replaced by a far more subdued emotion. The younger teen suddenly found the gray floor of the garage to be extremely fascinating, and he began backing toward the door. "Okay...I just thought I'd ask..."

Watching the changeling shuffle out the door, Cyborg felt a pang of guilt. He hadn't really meant to hurt the little guy's feelings and thought telling him to come back before shoving that idea away. He wasn't the same person as he'd been in high school. He didn't do the whole reach-out-and-make-friends thing anymore. It was enough that he had even agreed to join this team when he could still barely convince himself to go out in public.

Shaking his head and grumbling to himself, the half-metal man picked up a wrench and opened the car's hood so he could get back to tinkering. "Don't know why you'd wanna hang out with someone like me anyway…"

"Because you're cool."

The half-metal man hadn't expected an answer and when he heard a response, he jumped and banged his head on the hood. Cursing and rubbing the large lump that was forming, Cyborg turned to see Beast Boy poking his green head through the doorway and was about to yell at the other teen…when what the changeling said registered. "What did you say?"

Once again, Beast Boy hesitantly walked into the garage. "That you're cool. That's why I want to hang out with you."

Cyborg gaped at him in, disbelief written all over his face and made sure to speak slowly and clearly. "Kid, I am _half metal_."

"I'm green," the changeling replied with a light shrug. "And so what if you're half-metal? That doesn't mean you're, like, only half human."

Cyborg almost dropped the wrench, feeling like someone had knocked the wind out of him. Swallowing hard against some unnamed emotion that had welled up in his throat, he took a good look at the changeling. Beast Boy was staring at the ground again, looking unsure of himself…and very lonely. It reminded Cyborg of the first time he'd ever met the kid.

_The others had been going their own way, and Vic decided to follow suit. What did he care about some alien and her funky crusade? Sure, she looked nice enough but she was obviously tough; she could probably take care of herself. It was her fight, anyway. He had his own problems to worry about._

"_Just you and me, then, huh? Cool."_

_Vic barely had time to register that someone had spoken to him before the green kid—Beast Boy, he remembered—was zipping around him. Deciding to simply walk away, Vic started off down the street but immediately heard footsteps behind him. A quick glance back confirmed that Beast Boy was following him. Annoyed, he tried to think of some way to shrug the other teen off but before he could say anything, Beast Boy was talking again._

"_I-I haven't really had anybody to hang out with since I quit the Doom Patrol. This is gonna be fun. Can we play video game—"_

Okay, that's it._ Vic abruptly stopped and felt Beast Boy slam into his back. Yanking his hood down, he turned sharply and glared down at the kid._

"_There! Take a good, long look! I had an accident, and now I'm a monster! A cyborg!" Vic shouted. _Now, go on, scream and point and run away just like everyone else—

_His train of thought was interrupted by the fact that Beast Boy didn't look terrified. He looked…happy. Vic felt like his circuits had shorted as the green kid leapt up onto his shoulder, still chattering a mile a minute._

"_Cyborg! Cool! You're like Robotman 2.0!" Beast Boy exclaimed excitedly._

_For a second, Vic could only stare at him. _He's not afraid. He's really not. Who the hell is this kid?

"_You…are one weird little dude, you know that?" Vic said. It was the only way he could think to describe the hyperactive teen._

Cyborg shook himself out of that memory and back to the present. He had walked away after that, with Beast Boy calling after him. He hadn't gotten very far, of course, because a few seconds later, the Gordanian ship had appeared.

_Doesn't mean that walking away initially was okay, _Cyborg thought heavily. He got his internal memory to pull up a video clip of their first meeting. Watching the scene over in his head, Cyborg realized for the first time that, despite Beast Boy's cheerful attitude, the changeling's body language was practically screaming loneliness. He had been looking for a friend. He had been looking for _Cyborg_ to be his friend.

No one had looked to Cyborg for friendship in a long time.

After his accident, people had been afraid of him. They hadn't tried to hide it either: his friends from high school never visited, his girlfriend had screamed the first (and only) time she came to see him, the people at STAR labs shuddered when he walked past them. Even his own father could hardly stand to look at him. They had all seemed to view him as the real-life incarnate of Frankenstein's monster, and after a while, he couldn't handle their stares. So, he'd left before he could forget what it was like to feel okay about himself anymore than he already had.

Beast Boy had been the first person to look at him without fear or disgust. He had been the first person to not make Cyborg feel like a freak.

_And I was going to leave him there. The only person to be cool with my appearance, and I tell him how weird _he_ is? Damn, that was low. When did I become such a jerk? _

The half-metal man was so caught up in his self-loathing that he almost didn't realize that Beast Boy was leaving. "Hey, Beast Boy, hold up a minute!"

The green teen paused to allow the half-metal man to catch up with him.

"So…it seriously doesn't bother you?" Cyborg gestured to the metal covering his body.

Beast Boy shook his head. "Nope. I was told your outsides aren't supposed to matter as much as your insides."

He said it so matter-of-factly that Cyborg had to laugh. "Amen to that, little man. C'mon."

The changeling followed him with a confused expression on his face. "Where are we going?"

The half-metal man grinned down at his friend. "To play video games."


	25. Sight

**A/N**: This chapter is short and kind of odd but it's an idea I've had since seeing the latest installment of a certain franchise last summer. I'm still not sure I got the tone I was looking for and I can't say much because I don't want to give too much away but here it is! Expect more soon, and thank you very, very much to all who reviewed. Please keep giving me feedback, guys. I want to get better but I need help if I am going to do so. Tell me what you liked, didn't like, and/or what to see more/less of.

**Disclaimer**: I own no DC superheroes. None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero. Etc.

040. Sight

"Friend? For what reason did you call the male reporter 'sir' and insist upon getting his autograph?" Starfire asked Beast Boy. The Titans had just finished an exclusive interview with an out of town newspaper and were piling into the T-Car.

The changeling shot Starfire an incredulous look as he snapped on his seatbelt. "Well, duh, Star! I'm still trying to figure out why the rest of you didn't!"

Robin turned in his seat to get a better look at his teammate. "Well, they are a famous reporting team but I had no idea you were so into the media, Beast Boy."

Beast Boy gave his leader an odd look. "Dude, that's not why I asked for his autograph. I wanted it because…well, you know, it was _him_. How could I pass up a chance like that?"

Cyborg used the rearview mirror to look back at his green-skinned friend. "A chance like what, B? I mean, yeah, the guy's a big name in his neck of the woods but not _that_ big."

"Not that big—! Rae, are you hearin' this? They think that guy was just a normal…" Beast Boy trailed off as he noticed the confused look on her face. His jaw dropped. "…please tell me you're kidding."

The dark Titan slowly shook her head, watching him with a raised eyebrow. "Not that it's anything unusual but no, Beast Boy, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I believe we are all confused," Starfire added.

Beast Boy stared at each of them in turn, eyes wide with disbelief. This was unreal. They honestly did not seem to know what he was talking about. "Guys, come _on_. It was _obvious_. You _had_ to notice."

"Notice what?"

"DUDES!" Beast Boy shouted, waving his arms to emphasis just how shocked he was. "Do you all need to have your vision checked? That was _him_!"

"We've established that but who is…wait. Wait, you think…" The Boy Wonder trailed off as each of the Titans seemed to realize what Beast Boy was talking about. There was a slight pause before three occupants of T-Car erupted with laughter. The fourth, Raven, even seemed to be amused enough to give a slight smirk. "Congratulations, Beast Boy, that's the best joke you've told in months."

The last occupant seemed to find the situation far less comical. "I'm not joking. Geez, if anything I should be laughing at you guys for missing something so totally obvious."

It took the Titans another minute to realize that their changeling was completely serious. When they did, they eyed him with astonishment.

"Beast Boy, no. There is just no way. I can't believe that idea would even enter your head," Cyborg said. The cybernetic teen then looked thoughtful. "On second thought, yes, I can."

"Look at the evidence!" Beast Boy exclaimed indignantly, ignoring Raven's comment that there was no evidence. "Those two have the same body build, the same hair, the same face, and the same eyes! They're either the same guy or he's got a clone that no one knows about!"

Concern was evident in Starfire's face. "Beast Boy, is it perhaps possible that some of the refrigerator's blue fuzz fused with your tofu and addled your brain?"

"My brain is not addled!"

"BB, it's just not possible. The guy we met is the epitome of mild mannered. Can you imagine him out-running a train or hopping over the Daily Planet?" Robin reasoned. Maybe Starfire was right. Something had to be messing with the changeling's head for him to come up with something so outrageous. "Plus, Ms. Lane is practically the expert on her city's vigilante. Don't you think she would have noticed if her partner was him?"

Beast Boy snorted derisively, crossing his arms. "Those coke-bottle glasses seem to be fooling everybody, including you, Mr. World's Greatest Boy Detective. Hmph, more like _defective_ if you ask me…"

He continued to grumble to himself, shaking his head in disbelief and slight disgust. He couldn't believe that they would be so oblivious to something that was right in front of their faces. How could they have missed such an uncanny resemblance? How could _anyone_ have missed it?

Looking down at the autographed napkin in his hands, Beast Boy was certain. Clark Kent was _so_ Superman.


	26. Club

**A/N**: Whoa, a double update. That hasn't happened in a while but I wanted to put this out because A) this actually did happen to Beast Boy in the comics (and his last line is more or less what he said in response), B) Beast Boy and Cy buddy fics are really fun to write, and C) no one ever commented on Beast Boy's actions in the last fight with the Brotherhood of Evil. Granted, the series ended soon after that episode but I'm willing to bet that no one would have said anything anyway. Whenever BB does something great, the writers had a tendency to off-set it by making him do something foolish. I am biased but I wish that Beast Boy had gotten a little more credit.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any DC superheroes. I do not even own my soul. My Humanities professor has once again taken control of that.

049. Club

"Hey, BB," Cyborg called as he walked into the Titan's common room. He noticed that the changeling was staring blankly down at a sheet of paper in his hands. "What'd you get in the mail?"

"NOTHING!" Beast Boy yelped, stuffing the letter behind his back. Realizing he had yelled, the green teenager looked around and nervously cleared his throat. "I mean, just junk. You?"

Folding his arms, Cyborg gave him a dry look. "You do realize you aren't fooling me, right?"

"Can we pretend that I am and just ignore this?" Beast Boy's voice held a note of pleading.

"Well, if you're this jumpy about it—no, we can't ignore it," Cyborg replied. This wasn't normal behavior for the changeling, prompting Cyborg to believe that whatever his best friend was trying to hide definitely did not need to be hidden. "What's the letter? You haven't been pretending to be a psychic again, have you?"

Beast Boy sighed heavily and put the letter into the half-metal man's outstretched hand. The paper was of an expensive variety and the logo on top looked familiar. Cyborg studied it for a moment…and then blinked. Hard. He ran a scan on the letter, thinking this might be some type of elaborate joke. It wasn't.

"Holy cow." Cyborg could barely keep his jaw from dropping as he shot Beast Boy an incredulous look. "This is from the Justice League."

"Yeah."

"The Justice League. Of America. This is an invitation to join the _Justice League of America_." Cyborg glanced back down at the paper for a moment before laughing and giving Beast Boy a huge smile. "BB, man, this is awesome! Way to go, dawg!"

"Yeah."

"I mean, seriously, this is great! Wait, no—this is amazing! This is…is…" he trailed off, noticing the desolate expression on Beast Boy's face. Cyborg frowned and felt his jubilation fade. "…this is not making you happy."

"No, it's not. I don't want to do this."

Cyborg cocked his head in confusion. He would have expected his green friend to be gloating and boasting that it was about time someone noticed how great he was. Instead, the changeling sounded like he was about to cry. "Beast Boy, this is a chance to join the greatest superhero team on earth. These guys are the A-list, and they want you. Why _wouldn't_ you want this for yourself?"

The changeling stared at the floor. "You know _why_ they want me? Because I led a group of Titans against the Brotherhood in the last fight. That's it. That's the only reason."

"And you don't think that's a good enough reason? Beast Boy, you practically stopped the war by yourself!" When the green young man shot him a look of pure skepticism, the cybernetic teen continued in earnest. "Look, when Robin got captured, the rest of us thought that was it. We were on our own, tired, beaten, and leaderless so we figured that the bad guys had won. You were the only one who didn't give up. You led a group of Titans who had never fought together before and won."

"_I_ didn't win—_we_ did. My team would have been killed if everyone else hadn't shown up," Beast Boy replied. For a second, he looked absolutely disgusted with himself. "I would have gotten them all killed if it hadn't been for you guys. Why should I be rewarded for that?"

Cyborg shook his head. "No, you still aren't getting it. Herald, Jericho, Pantha, and Mas—they all knew what they were getting themselves into, and they chose to follow you anyway. _You_ knew what you were getting yourself into—and you chose to fight anyway. And the only reason the rest of us made it down there is because you'd already cleared the path. There is no way we could have beaten the Brotherhood that day if you hadn't led the charge. It was all you, man."

Beast Boy looked like someone had informed him that he'd won the Nobel Prize for physics, and Cyborg couldn't understand why he was so shocked. _It's like he had no idea…oh_. "Hasn't anyone told you any of this?"

This time, it was the changeling who shook his head, and the half-metal man felt guilt well up within him. It was no wonder the kid had self-esteem problems. When he did something absolutely incredible, he never realized it and no one bothered to tell him. Cyborg doubted that anyone had even taken the time to congratulate him.

"Okay, maybe what I did was pretty cool but it's still not reason enough to want me in the League," Beast Boy said after a moment of letting his friend's words sink in.

"Yes, it is—"

"No, it's not!" Beast Boy interrupted sharply. He sent a glare at the letter as if it were actually one of the League members. "Robin has led this team for years. Starfire kept her sister from causing havoc on earth and on Tamaran. You took out Brother Blood, and Raven stopped the friggin' apocalypse! Those were all amazing things—so where're _your_ invitations?"

Cyborg opened his mouth to answer before realizing he didn't know how to. Until now, the Justice League had shown absolutely no interest in the Titans. They hadn't appeared the time Slade and Terra took over Jump City or when Trigon tried to take over the world. Hell, they hadn't even helped out with the war against the Brotherhood of Evil.

Finally, the half-metal man said, "I don't know, B. But just because we didn't get invited doesn't mean you should ignore this opportunity."

The green teenager stared at Cyborg for a long time. He sat down heavily on the couch and swallowed hard before speaking again. "But…but I don't _want_ to leave."

_Leave…?_ The cybernetic teen suddenly felt like an anvil had fallen on his head as he realized that, should Beast Boy accept the Justice League's offer, the changeling could no longer be a Teen Titan. A commitment to two teams of such magnitude would have been too much for anyone to handle. The green teen would be forced to resign from his current team and leave the Tower.

Now Cyborg fully understood Beast Boy's dilemma. To the changeling—to all of them—this was home. Jump City wasn't just any city. It was _their_ city. The Tower wasn't just headquarters any more than they were just teammates. The Tower was home, the only real home some of them had ever known, and the Titans were family. They took care of each other and supported each other. To leave both, especially when they had all only just gotten back from a year-long nightmare of a war, was too much to ask of Beast Boy. Hell, Cyborg was sure it was too much to ask of any one of them.

The half-metal man took the seat next to his friend and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Someday, maybe they would all go their separate ways and maybe then the Justice League would look like a good place for Beast Boy—but not right now. He needed to be in Jump City and to be a Titan. He needed his family.

_And we need the little grass stain, too_, Cyborg thought firmly.

"So…that's the problem you have with joining the JLA? Leaving us?" Cyborg asked.

"That, and everything I said before. Plus, I'm just not ready for something like that," Beast Boy replied. He looked down at his gloves. "But I don't think I have a choice."

"Of course you do. This is an invitation, not a draft."

"Dude, it's like you said. This is the _Justice League of America_. You can't just say, 'thanks but I don't want to join your club' to the Justice League." Beast Boy leaned forward to put his elbows on his knees and rested his head on his hands. "Besides, Mento would kill me if I turned this down."

Cyborg felt a spark of anger. He didn't have much fondness for the Doom Patrol, especially its leader. "Screw Helmet-Head. This is about you, not him. And you _do_ have a choice."

Beast Boy shot his friend a dubious look. "Hey, what gives? First you say join, now you say not to?"

The half-metal man shrugged. "This all you, man. If joining the JLA is what you want, do it. If it's not, don't. You know we'll all support whatever decision you make."

The green teenager nodded and seemed to sink into deep thought. After a few minutes, he sat up straight and a slow grin crossed his face. "You know what, Cy? When I said I was going to help the Doom Patrol fight off the Brotherhood, you guys stuck with me. You didn't have to but you did, and that means a lot. So maybe the Justice League would be cool—but nothing is better than being a Titan."

With an air of finality, Beast Boy hopped off the couch and began walking to the door. Cyborg watched him with amusement. It would never cease to amaze him how quickly that boy could bounce back. "Where are you going, BB?"

"To tell the Justice League of America that I'm not joining their club," Beast Boy replied. He sent a mischievous smirk over his shoulder. "But that _they_ are welcomed to join _us_."


	27. Months

**A/N**: Happy Single's Awareness Day!...otherwise known as Valentine's Day, but I prefer the first name. This chapter was posted for the RBSU's Bataille de Amor contest and for the reviewers who have been asking for another BB/Rae oneshot (although I'm willing to bet this isn't the type you guys were hoping for. More fluff next time, I promise) and if it seems a little disjointed, it's because I've spent months trying to write a fic dealing with this particular aspect (or possibility) of the Beast-Boy-and-Raven relationship and so this oneshot has been through quite a few drafts. I'm still not sure if I've gotten the correct tone but that's what reviewers are for! So please tell me if this is believable and/or likeable, guys, and thank you to everyone who has reviewed. You are much appreciated.

Oh, and a final dedication: for Bhill68, because I know you've been hoping to see something like this for a while. I especially hope you enjoy this, my friend.

**Disclaimer**: I still do not own TT. At this point, I'm not even sure who is writing/drawing the comics because it's madness over there.

009. Months

If the question had ever come to mind, Raven would have believed that nothing could have harmed the odd yet resilient friendship they had. Of course, there was always the possibility of a horrible fight where one of them finally said something completely inexcusable but even then, she knew they would eventually make up because, for them, inexcusable and unforgivable were two different things. He was as much a part of her life as meditation or tea. He was a constant, someone who would always be there, and she was sure that nothing could have changed that.

And then she discovered that the months apart had damaged their relationship more than she could ever have imagined.

It took a few weeks for her to notice the changes but she could not feel guilty about that. After all, those weeks were some of the busiest the Titans could remember having. First they had to try and find places for all of the honorary Titans to live because, large as it was, the Tower was not built to house thirty plus occupants. After that came the realization that Jump City had definitely undergone some changes in their absence and adapting to the differences in their city left everyone feeling a little disconnected from reality. Then there was the sudden (and to this day, debatable) reappearance of Terra and the fiasco that was their trip to Tokyo. All of that had happened in less than a month so Raven knew there simply had not been time for any of the Titans to notice differences in each other, not when they all already felt like the world around them was shifting too quickly for them to keep up with. So as far as she knew, the other Titans had yet to see the variances in their green-skinned friend.

Raven, however, _had_ noticed. A few days after their return from Japan, Raven had walked into the kitchen with the expectation of having at least half an hour to herself before the others woke up. She had always been the earliest riser among the Titans.

But that morning, she had entered the kitchen to find Beast Boy already cooking his tofu. She was completely surprised since the changeling usually didn't stir until at least eleven but her surprise quickly turned into a suspicion that he had been playing video games all night.

"We've talked about this before, Beast Boy," Raven said as she started to boil water for her tea. "Staying up all night staring at a TV screen is not only bad for your eyes but detrimental to your brain cells and you have precious few of those as it is."

He shot her a confused look. "I wasn't up all night. If I remember right, I went to bed before you did. I just wanted to get an early start so I could have my breakfast before Cy gets up."

She raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"So we don't restart the whole meat versus tofu thing again," Beast Boy replied with a shrug.

"_What_?" Raven nearly dropped the cup she was holding. The breakfast war between the half-metal teen and the changeling had started the month after they all formed the team. It was as much a staple of the Titans as was Starfire's addiction to mustard. Going a morning without it was…unimaginable and a little disturbing, even to her.

Beast Boy just shrugged nonchalantly. "Yeah, well, I figured out it was a stupid thing to fight over. I mean, he likes meat, I don't, and that's that. We aren't going to convince each other of anything so what's the point, right?" He gave her a slight smile and took a muffin from the counter top. "I know you like blueberry but the chocolate chip ones are all that's left."

Still feeling shocked, Raven automatically took the muffin from his outstretch hand. The realization had hit her all at once. Beast Boy was different.

He looked the same as he always had—green skin, pointy ears, fang—but even so, Raven was struck by the air of unfamiliarity that seemed to waft around him. She knew him, would have recognized him anywhere…and yet she could hardly recognized him now. After a few more moments of subtle staring, Raven was certain that Beast Boy had changed. In some inexplicably obvious way, he was different. Confusion welled up within her as she wondered when this had happened and why she hadn't noticed.

And then she remembered that they had all spent the better part of a year away from each other. A moment later, she felt irrationally angry with Beast Boy, furious that he would dare change so much without her there to see it, and she left the kitchen without saying another word to him. Later, after a long meditation and a cup of her most soothing blend of tea, Raven decided that she had overreacted and judged the situation far too quickly. Beast Boy might have been trying to throw her off of some sort of elaborate prank he was cooking up. And if that wasn't the case, and he had truly given up the Meat vs. Tofu crusade—well, then, so what? It did not mean anything other than breakfast was bound to be much quieter from now on, and she certainly was not going to object to that.

Two weeks later, however, Raven found that she not only objected to calmer breakfasts but Beast Boy's new behavior in general—or rather, his behavior in regards to _her_. She did not mind that in training, he began working harder than ever before and improved his times so much that even Robin was impressed or that he had started building his own moped instead of bugging Cyborg to do it for him. The changeling had even braved going with Starfire to the Jump City Annual Mustard Convention, a feat that even the Boy Wonder had quailed at.

But Raven found that if she came into the common room with a book in hand while he was playing video games, he muted them or stopped so that she could read in peace. She told him repeatedly that that was unnecessary but he continued to do so anyway. He also no longer offered her tofu or tried to talk her into going downtown to see a movie or go to the arcade with him. He did not interrupt her rooftop meditations because he simply wanted to talk to her, and he stopped calling her Rae. By no means did Beast Boy ignore her completely but the amount of attention that he had previously given her had declined—and Raven found that she did not appreciate that as much as she would have thought. In fact, it made her feel as if he had abandoned her, as if her presence had become less important.

The only thing that had kept her from demanding an explanation (which was _not_ the same as demanding attention, as she had explained to Wisdom at least six times) was that today, Beast Boy told her a joke. Raven relaxed the moment he asked her why the mushroom went to the party, feeling ridiculously thankful that the material for his jokes had not improved and that _she_ was still the recipient of such corny dialogue. This was what she had been waiting for, the chance to set things between her and the changeling back to the way they had always been.

Her relief faded a moment later when she discovered that at some point the green young man must have discovered how to tell when it was okay to mess around and when it wasn't…

…and in the process, forgotten that when she told him to go away, he was not supposed to do that.

"Wait," Raven called after him. "What are you doing?"

Beast Boy looked confused and scratched the back of his neck. "Well, you want me to stop messing around, right?"

"Yes," she replied suspiciously and sensing a joke, she put down her book. To hide the relief running through her, she narrowed her eyes and waited for the punch line.

It never came. Instead, he just continued walking to the door.

"Okay, then. I'm going to go find something else to do," he called back to her.

In that moment, something came to a screeching halt. She didn't know what it was—time, their friendship, her own heart—but it's abrupt end caused every bit of her to be thrown into disarray.

_What is he doing?_ Raven wondered, trying to push down the sudden panic that rose in her. This wasn't right—it was even more not right than everything else that had changed between them. This was not the way things worked because it had always been that Beast Boy told jokes and did not care when she told him that he was annoying her. He still told her jokes. He always tried. And he did not leave just like Raven did not understand why the changeling was walking out the door instead of trying to drag a smile onto her face.

"Hold on," Raven said, and Beast Boy paused again. "You're just going to go?"

"Yeah. I just said I would go find something else to do."

"Aren't you supposed to be on some kind of mission? 'I'm not going to stop until you smile.'" She quoted him indifferently, as if one of the foundations her life was built upon did not hinge on his answer to that question.

Something in her chest ached sharply when he laughed lightly. "Wow, you remember that?"

"Yes. Does that surprise you?"

"Kinda. I didn't think you listened to anything I said back then," Beast Boy replied with a shrug. The absolute shock and hurt obviously did not register as much on her face as it did in her heart because he continued without pause. "Well, it seems kind of dumb on my part, doesn't it? I mean, you've been telling me how bad my jokes suck for years, and I'm just now getting that you don't like them."

_But I like that you tell them to me. _"So…that's it then?" Raven didn't know how she kept her voice at its usual monotone when she felt like she had been brought to her knees. When had this happened? When had she stopped being his…something? Because she was something to him.

Or at least, she had been the last time she checked. Things had obviously changed, though, and she had only fully realized that a second ago. Which was ironic, considering it had been the very moment that she realized that _he_ was _her_ something.

"Yep." He seemed to find her confusion amusing as he started out of the common room. "Man, Raven, you're pretty paranoid about this. Maybe I should have stopped bugging you years ago."

"But…" she trailed off, realizing he was already out the door.

Raven had stared after him for a long time, feeling disturbed and hurt…very, very hurt. Taking a deep, shudder breath and trying to ignore the hollow feeling that had seeped into her stomach, the dark girl tried to look at things rationally. It slowly dawned on her that his recent actions—the muted video games, the extra effort in training, the termination of the meat vs. tofu war, even his slight gain in height that she had only noticed ten seconds ago—were all signs of maturity but that did little to soothe her. In fact, it made her feel all the more distressed.

He had grown up. During those months fighting against the Brotherhood of Evil, _Beast Boy_ had grown up.

_Why are you bothered by this? It's not like this is a bad thing. You should like that he's a little more reserved now. He's actually trying not to be a pest. He's respecting your boundaries—which is what you've wanted since you first met him_, Raven reminded herself. She wanted to be practical about this.

She looked down at the book in her lap before lifting her gaze back to the door. She stared at it and found herself expecting him to march back through with a loud "Gotcha!" and a laugh. After ten minutes of waiting, Raven knew he wouldn't be returning.

_This is not a bad thing_, she tried to tell herself. And maybe it would not have been—if she could have been there during those months, if she had seen those changes in Beast Boy as they occurred, if she could have been there to let him know that she had made some changes in herself as well.

If she could have had the opportunity to show him that she wanted to be an important part of his life, just as he had fought to be part of her life since the beginning.

Or had she always had that opportunity and just not taken the time to see it?

In Nevermore, Timid sniffed and wiped a few tears away. The grey cloaked emotion hugged her knees to her chest, whispering that Beast Boy wasn't just growing up—he was growing away, too, and it was too late for her to stop that. Wisdom's voice whispered in her mind, painfully informing her that if she did not know the importance of something—or someone, Raven amended—before she lost it then perhaps she had never deserved in the first place.

Raven felt the sharp, aching feeling returned to her chest. The room was suddenly too big and too quiet.

"…but you _never_ stop bugging me," she finished quietly.


	28. Fall

**A/N**: This update was supposed to be a double but an unexpected loss in my family has set me back in almost everything. I should have another chapter out in the next few days but I also have a ton of homework to catch up on and midterms to prepare for so updates might be a little slow for the next few weeks. On a lighter note, thank you, thank you, **_thank you_** to all those who reviewed the last chapter. You guys have no idea how much you brighten my day. I really do appreciate the feedback.

This chapter was written for my uncle, a lifelong DC comic fan who taught me to love all people (including myself), who always believed in my abilities as a writer, and who started reading _Teen Titans_ two years ago because he knew I liked them. It's an odd tribute but I think he would have liked it. He was a hopeless romantic, too.

**Disclaimer**: I still do not own the Teen Titans.

064. Fall

"_Let go, Beast Boy."_

It was the most beautiful fall day but Raven found herself feeling more angry and embarrassed than relaxed. She couldn't shake off her frustration, although she couldn't tell who its primary target was—herself or the green changeling.

_Of course_ she would slip as she walked down the stairs. _Of course_ Beast Boy would be the one to catch her. __

He looked so smug at the moment, holding her body close to his and grinning that foolish grin of his. She glared at him, trying to ignore the red creeping into her cheeks, which only made his smile grow larger. He was looking at her—no, looking _through_ her because he was the only person who could. __

And he knew that, damn him. He knew how to get to her. He was the only one who could. The changeling understood her far better than Raven wanted to believe and usually allowed herself to believe he did. __

"You gotta be more careful, Rae. What if I hadn't been able to catch you?"

"I told you to let go."

Pressed closely to him like this, Raven couldn't help but notice everything about Beast Boy. He was as tall as she was now and probably would soon be taller. Despite the cool October breeze, he was warm; she could feel the heat through his thin jacket and from his hands on her back. He had a tiny scar under his right eyebrow, and she was fascinated by the fact that his eyes were a deeper green than the rest of his skin. And it wasn't just his physical features that she observed; everything he was feeling at the moment was spilling off him onto her. He was cockiness, he was kindness, he was patience (for her, at least), he was courage, he was beautiful chaos. He could light up a room by simply walking into it, and she knew that he would never allow her to fall, be it down stairs or into her own darkness. He would do anything for a friend, after all.__

Raven knew all this about him but then again, everyone did. Beast Boy had always been one to wear his heart on his sleeve. She sometimes envied that about him, his ability to so freely show his emotions when she hardly felt comfortable allowing anyone a glimpse of hers.

He always managed to catch those glimpses, though, and if it weren't for her own ability to see past the happy-go-lucky front he showed the world, Raven would have been completely disgusted with herself.

"_You think you can stand without me?"_

"_Somehow I think I can manage without your help."  
_  
She was thankful she knew his other side, the one he tried to hide. She knew that, underneath his smiles and jokes, he was not always so happy and carefree. He still felt the grief and guilt surrounding his parent's deaths. He still had horrible nightmares about the things that happened to him between leaving Africa and joining the Doom Patrol but never spoke to anyone about the scenes that haunted him in his sleep. He had yet to fully accept the sting of Terra's betrayals (first by joining Slade, second by returning and not remembering) as well as the fear and shame of living with the Beast inside of him.

She also knew of his desire to prove to the world (and sometimes to their friends and always to Mento) that he wasn't just an immature prankster in a superhero costume, that he was just as strong as any of his peers. She knew that his corny jokes were his defense mechanism, his means of conning everyone into believing that he was always cheerful and masking a desperate desire to be liked.

Raven knew Beast Boy better than almost anyone, and sometimes she prided herself with that knowledge.

Most of the time, though, she was overwhelmed by it. By him.

"_You sure about that, Rae?"_

"_Of course I am. Now let me _go_."_

Still, the more she knew of him, the more she found herself drawn to him, albeit unwillingly. He effected her in ways she prayed he would never know. He would probably give himself too much credit and his outer ego (because she knew how fragile his self-esteem truly was) certainly didn't need any more stroking. Beyond that, her own feelings unnerved her, and despite knowing that it was in her best interest to accept them (the _Wicked Scary_ incident had taught her that much), she found herself pushing him as far away as possible.

Raven felt her scowl falter as a familiar series of questions ran through her mind. How often had she tried to tell herself that she didn't like his laughter or his smiles? How many times had she wanted to believe that he was nothing more than an exasperating green fool that she could do without? How long had she tried to convince herself that she didn't need him or the light he brought to her life?

The answer she came up with was always the same: too many times and for far too long.

Raven's frustration was fading into a sort of fearful resignation. She knew she was almost powerless against this force, whatever it was—affection, attraction, lust, love, a combination of all four—and perhaps she should have expected something like this would happen. After all, the monks on Azarath had warned her that temptation would appear to her in many forms. They failed to mention, however, that those forms would be green, fanged, and entirely too persistent.

Maybe this was all inevitable. Looking at Beast Boy and feeling his arms around her, Raven thought it was.

But that didn't mean she was going to give in right now.

"_Okay, okay, I'm letting go. Geez, you'd think get didn't _want_ to get so close to a hot green hunk such as myself."_

But he didn't let go. He was watching her, holding her, and the self-satisfaction in his smile had turned into something softer. The dark Titan suddenly felt her heart give an odd tug before it began thundering in her ears. She felt herself sinking into something warm and unknown, and Beast Boy was holding on to her as if to say he was willing to take the fall with her. The notion was simultaneously wonderful—and terrifying.

In the midst of swirls of orange, red, and brown, Raven realized her control slipping and knew that a few of her carefully constructed walls had already crumbled. She was letting go, and she didn't know if she wanted to or not. It went against everything she had been raised to believe about herself, and even though she had lost faith in the majority of things Azar had said about her, Raven had clung to the belief that she could not afford to have extreme emotions. She was not prepared to deal with this. She did not know how to deal with this.

But she was falling.

"…_I'm not ready for this, Beast Boy."_

"_I know. I'll be here when you are."_


	29. Wish

**A/N: **Ooookay, it's been a little bit longer than I thought it would be. I had in mind that I'd be able put out at least four chapters over my Spring Break but life turned out to be much busier than I expected. Well, that plus some writer's block and another project I'm working on that seemed to be sucking up all my creative thoughts. Hopefully, though, that'll pay off this summer when it's ready to be posted (and that's all I'm saying about that).

Anyway, thank you to everyone who has reviewed (and please give me feedback on this update. Starfire is the hardest character for me to write so I want to know how I can improve on her). Mothman X asked a question about the continuity of this series that I'm going to clarify here in case anyone else is wondering. While a few of these oneshots are connected (the holiday ones, "Broken" and "Fixed", etc), these chapters are mostly stand-alones. For instance, "Fall" does not go together with "Christmas", "New Years", or "Months". These oneshots do not necessary have to come one after the other, although I have noticed that almost everything I've put up so far could have been a sequence of events. That will change in the next few updates, though, because I've got a few chapters in the works that definitely take a new direction.

This oneshot takes place after The End, Part III.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the Teen Titans. If I did, the AS would be on Cartoon Network instead of atrocities like _Squirrel Boy_ and _My Gym Partner Is a Monkey _(or whatever the hell it's called), Gar would not be in limbo in the comics, and we would _finally_ know what happened between Raven and him.

096. Wish

"It's no big deal, Star," Beast Boy said with a shrug. He turned his gaze back out to the bay and although he was not any fonder of water, he was glad to see it. He could deal with seeing those waves every day but staring at a fiery rain of death and destruction every morning…

Not so much.

He was also grateful that he and his teammates were even still alive, able to hang out on the roof and look up at the stars. It seemed surreal in a way, because they really shouldn't have survived. They had all gone through a lot in the past day, especially Raven.

Raven. Beast Boy was really thankful for her. Despite her fears and everything she had grown up believing about herself, she had stopped her evil demon-king of a father from turning the planet into an apocalyptic wasteland and saved the entire human race. She was such an amazing person.

But looking at the object in his hand made Beast Boy wish he had the ability to go back twenty-four hours ago, to right before they sealed Raven in the supposedly safe room. He wished he could have that moment back again. There were a lot of things he would have done differently.

Like _not_ giving her that stupid penny.

"But I do not understand. She did not take your copper currency of fortune?" Starfire asked, sounding surprised.

"No, she did but I guess she dropped it at some point. Can't say I blame her—I mean, the _world_ was ending, right? A penny would've been the last thing on my mind, too. But since she never came back to get it, I figured she wouldn't mind if I took it back," Beast Boy replied. He shrugged again and tried to smile but it didn't come out just right. He knew it hadn't and so did his teammate but she didn't call him on it. "It's really no big deal."

Starfire's next words were gentle. "But it hurts, yes?"

Beast Boy hesitated for a moment, wanting to deny her statement. That would be the smart thing to do, after all. There was no point in telling anyone just how badly it hurt that Raven didn't remember his little gift. It was a stupid thing to get upset about, just like it was stupid that he was still trying to get her to smile. It was even stupider for him to want her to notice him, to allow himself to feel things for her beyond friendship—God, it was all so _stupid_! He was so stupid!

But Starfire's bright, understanding eyes held him, and he found he just couldn't lie. "Maybe just a little," he conceded in a very small voice.

The Tamaranian princess nodded. "Yes," she whispered. "And I only love Robin just a little as well."

The changeling suddenly realized how much difficulty his friend was probably having with the situation, and despite the deep sympathy he abruptly developed for the girl next to him, Beast Boy found that he also felt a little better. He was pretty disgusted with himself for such a thing—what kind of person finds relief in a friend's pain, anyway?—but that saying about misery and company was proving to be quite true, and the green teen was glad he was not alone on the roof. The stars were beautiful tonight but gazing at them by himself would have made the loneliness and disappointment that much sharper.

_We can't stay out here forever though_, he thought, glancing toward the door. The real world was beckoning, and they could only hide from it for so long. _And we're only going to feel more bummed the longer we hang out up here._

"Hey, Star, shouldn't we get back to the party before someone misses us?" Beast Boy asked, gently nudging his friend but neither made any real efforts to move. They both heard the lie in his question. Cyborg had probably gone to bed already and if Robin and Raven were even still up, they would doubtlessly be too engrossed in each other to notice their missing teammates.

They'd been doing that a lot lately—getting caught up in each other. The changeling had noticed it a few months ago, when Raven had suddenly turned to only Robin for support. She had gone to talk to the Boy Wonder about her fears for the future and from that point on, the two had proved that birds truly do flock together. They had not ignored their teammates but Robin had turned his near obsessive single-mindedness away from Slade and onto Raven, while she had relied completely upon the Boy Wonder's faith in her. Today, she had even credited Trigon's defeat to Robin's belief.

_I believed in you, too, Rae. Always have_, the changeling thought bitterly._ You just never took the time to notice._

And that—that was what hurt Beast Boy the most. In the past, it had practically been his part of his job as a Titan, to be there for his dark teammate; despite all their arguments and differences, when Raven truly needed someone to lean on, Beast Boy unfailingly gave her his support. She had always seemed like she appreciated that, too, like she was glad that he tried so hard to be there whenever she needed him. He had always thought that maybe…maybe he was kind of important to her. Maybe a little more special to her than the other guys in her life.

Stealing a glance at his friend, Beast Boy wondered if that was what Starfire was thinking, too. She had always been the one to talk the Boy Wonder out of his funks and to help him find things in life to smile about, and Robin had always acted as if the Tamaranian were his lifeline. He had always treated her preferentially and now he hardly gave her the time of day.

Part of Beast Boy realized that he and Star weren't looking at the situation very rationally. Neither Robin nor Raven had given any clear indication of their feelings at any point in time so it wasn't like anyone had been led on—and hell, they'd all just survived the freaking end of the world! How selfish were they, that they would spend time moping about losing people they had not even been with instead of celebrating their victory and being grateful for their blessings?

But the hollow feeling in his stomach that was reflected on Starfire's face was also coupled with the knowledge that they had both been waiting to take a chance where they'd never even had one to begin with made Beast Boy decide that they were allowed to be a little selfish right now. They deserved to feel a little hurt.

With those thoughts in mind, it was no surprise that neither moved. Instead, they turned their gazes back to the heavens and despite the miraculous victory the Titans had just achieved, both Beast Boy and Starfire thought that the stars were shining coldly on them this evening.

"Friend, do you remember teaching me the star wishing technique?" Starfire queried abruptly.

The changeling looked at her in confusion but nodded, recalling a night many months ago when the Tamaranian had shown up at his bedroom door. Apparently, she had just finished Disney's _Pinocchio_ and wanted further clarification on Jiminy Cricket's advice about wishing upon stars, and since Beast Boy himself was small and green, Starfire had decided that he was the Titan best suited to answering her question. Although a bit perturbed by the comparison, Beast Boy led her to the roof and proceeded to explain that, in order to make a wish, a person used the first star they saw to make a silent wish on. He had even taught her a little rhyme to help her remember the process.

"That night and many nights after, I made a wish concerning a matter most dear to my heart." She hesitated but once Beast Boy sent her an encouraging look, she gave a quivering smile and continued. "I asked for a dear friend to find the happiness needed to mend the pain of familial loss. This has come to pass—I truly believe his pain has been healed, and I rejoice in that…but I…I am afraid my wish did not come true in the way that I had hoped."

All of the Titans had lost someone important to them but Beast Boy did not have to wonder who his friend was referring to. He also instinctively knew exactly what her wish had been—and the way in which she had hoped it would come true. The changeling sighed heavily. "Wishes are tricky things, Star. You have to be really careful about how you word them because if you aren't, you don't get what you want. Not really, anyway."

He didn't need to tell her about all the wishes he, too, had made for someone else's happiness and how his wishes had also come true in the most painful way. From the heartbreaking smile she gave him, Starfire already knew.

"Beast Boy?" Starfire asked again, and he could hear the tears in her voice. "Could it be that...your earth stars are broken?"

He looked at her and swallowed against the painful lump in his throat before wrapping his arm around her shoulders and trying to smile again. It came out worse than the first time but he tried anyway.

"Yeah, Star," he replied. "Maybe they are."


	30. Breakfast

**A/N**: Aaaaand another Beast Boy and Starfire drabble. This one is much happier, though, and don't be alarmed by what seems like OOC-ness (unless you think I take it to far, in which case—be alarmed and tell me). In the Wolfman-Perez days of the Teen Titans comics, BB was always shamelessly flirting with Star. This is just my take on what might have happened if the flirting had happened on the AS as well. It's meant to be funny so hopefully it is.

Again, guys, feedback is good. I want to write all of the characters convincingly and Starfire is the one I feel least confident about.

**Disclaimer**: Still don't own the Teen Titans.

056. Breakfasat

Of all the breakfasts in the entire history of Titan's Tower, Beast Boy was certain that this one was the most awkward of them all. At least, for Cyborg it was. While he'd found the first three minutes of the conversation amusing, it had not taken the half-metal man long to realize exactly how…violent…the reactions to the conversation could—and likely would—be. The cybernetic teen was currently trying to make himself as unobtrusive as possible, eating his extra-crispy bacon as quietly as he could and slowly inching toward the exit.

Heaving an inward sigh, Beast Boy almost wished he could join in his best friend's escape. The situation was far more hazardous for him, after all. But the green teenager knew he couldn't turn back now, not when he had already come so far. There was simply too much at stake.

So with a deep breath and much more confidence than he felt, the changeling continued on with what he considered the most dangerous mission he had ever undertaken: blatantly flirting with Starfire.

"You know, Star, you look really awesome today," Beast Boy said. He tried to act self-assured as he sent her an outrageous wink. He knew his skills as a flirt were dismal at best but girls liked confident guys so—confident he would be. Or, at least, pretend to be. "I'd whistle but you're leaving me breathless here."

"Why, thank you, friend." Starfire sent the green teen a coy smile and inched slightly closer to him. "And as I have said before, you look quite nice as well."

She had complimented his appearance earlier—the moment he walked into the kitchen, in fact. But he wanted to hear it again. "Just _nice_? Aw, c'mon, Star. Don'cha think I'm cute?" The changeling quickly became a kitten. He purred and rubbed the Tamaranian's ankles before looking up at her with wide, innocent eyes.

From their seats at the table, Raven gave a slight pause before continuing her sip of tea while Robin hid a frown behind the Metro section of the newspaper. Beast Boy's previous flirtatious comments and Starfire's giggles had been more than enough to catch their attentions. The Boy Wonder and Azarathian were extremely perplexed and secretly troubled by their teammates' odd dialogue. Even if Beast Boy had always been something of a shameless flirt (not a very good flirt but a flirt nonetheless), he rarely tried his cheesy one-liners out on Starfire—and it was even rarer for her to reply like a blushing school girl.

It was all very…disconcerting, to say the least.

The Tamaranian cooed and picked the tiny kitten up to give him an Eskimo kiss. "Now you are the definition of adorable!"

The kitten licked her nose. Robin's grip on _The Jump City Report_ suddenly became far tighter, cause the newspaper to become crumpled.

Starfire gently hugged the changeling to her chest. Raven's annoyed glare quickly became more menacing as she set her tea down harder than usual.

Beast Boy purred even louder and nuzzled under the princess's chin.

The Boy Wonder's grinding teeth could be heard over the purring.

Starfire actually kissed the top of the green Titan's head.

A crack appeared in Raven's cup.

Cyborg's eyes darted from one friend to the next. The moment he noticed the not-so-subtle signs of fury in Robin and Raven, the half-metal man dropped all attempts at stealth and wisely bolted, choosing the sanctuary of the garage over the kitchen.

Beast Boy ignored his other teammates as he transformed back into his usual form. He grinned cheekily as he poured milk into his cereal. "Hey, it's my picture that's next to 'adorable' in the dictionary. You're in there, too, Star—right beside to 'gorgeous'."

"I believe the earth expression is 'flattery will get you no where'," the Tamaranian replied but she was pink with pleasure at his compliment. She took a seat next to Robin, not seeming to notice the way he moved his chair closer to her and sent a deadly look in Beast Boy's direction.

The changeling saw but simply turned up his charm, and when he took the chair on her other side, he pretended Raven was not boring a hole in the back of his head with her eyes. "But there's so much to say, Star! If only your eyes would stop interrupting me…"

Starfire opened her mouth to respond but was quickly cut off by Raven, who was sending her an abnormally heated look. "Starfire, _do not_ _answer_. You'll only encourage him more, and history has shown that we are supposed to learn from our past mistakes. Just because Beast Boy never does doesn't mean you can't."

He almost—_almost_—flinched, and an imperceptible glance at his companion, told Beast Boy that Starfire was feeling just as anxious as he was. Raven was rarely that brusque to Starfire, and Robin was about two seconds away from blowing steam out his ears. Territorial-ness had been more than expected but he had not anticipated it would be to this degree. Obviously, Starfire had not either.

But as quickly as the panicked expression passed between them, it was gone, and they both went back to focusing on the task at hand. The circumstances were deadly, the pressure was on—but they could _do_ this. Together, they would be invincible.

"That's not fair, Rae. I may not be so good at learning history," Beast Boy replied before wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at Star. "But I'm _great_ on dates."

_Well,_ that_ did it_, Beast Boy thought a second later when Raven's tea cup exploded, showering him with _extremely_ hot tea. Before she stormed out, he noticed the dark Titan looked a little more flushed than usual but the changeling wasn't sure if it was due to embarrassment or fury. He didn't have much time to contemplate that as a moment later a dark shadow was cast over him, and he looked up to see the Boy Wonder looming—literally _looming_—over him.

_Yep_, he thought with a nervous gulp. _Definitely worked with the Bat._

"Practice. One hour. Be there." With a murderous glare in Beast Boy's direction, Robin stalked out of the kitchen.

The Tamaranian and changeling exchanged looks. For a moment, the kitchen was utterly silent.

"Soooo…that went well," Beast Boy began casually, taking a bite of cereal. "And Robin's totally going to kick my ass in training today."

Starfire patted her friend's hand. "And for that I am truly sorry. I would attempt to intercede in your behalf but I fear that would only incite Robin further." A mischievous gleam replaced the apologetic look in the alien girl's eyes. "But perhaps Raven will be quick to heal you."

"You think?" Beast Boy asked hopefully. He then sent Starfire a sympathetic look. "And I'm sorry, too, Star. Raven was looking pretty ticked earlier so I doubt you're on her Most Tolerable People list right now. She's probably going to bail on your trip to the mall tomorrow."

Starfire only smiled cheerfully as she spread a thick coat of mustard onto her cinnamon bagel. "To be truthful, friend, I am hoping that will be the case. As much as I enjoy sharing the girl time with Raven, I am hoping to have the boy-girl time with Robin. I have heard that he would like to see the most recent installment of the horror films you and Cyborg so enjoy."

"_Wicked Scary IV_? I don't know, Star. I mean, Rob would love to go but scary movies always bother you…" Beast Boy trailed off as Starfire's jovial smile turned a touch smug. Slowly her plan dawned on him. "In which case, the Boy Wonder will feel it is his chivalrous duty to put his arm around you so that you feel safer. He might even take you out for ice cream after the movie to make up for putting you through such a traumatizing experience."

Starfire nodded. "That is my aim."

The changeling whistled approvingly. "Wow, Star. You're _good_."

"I thank you, friend." The Tamaranian princess curtsied regally before smirking (he made a mental note to be disturbed about Star smirking later) slyly once again. "And, if all goes accordingly, Raven will be available for the entirety of tomorrow's afternoon. Perhaps you should come up with a plan of much wooing as well."

This time, Beast Boy simply stared at her. "Did I say good? Dude, I totally meant fan-fricking-tastic!"

Starfire's smirk lingered as she took a bite of her mustarded bagel. "Indeed."


	31. Why

**A/N**: This is actually more like a public service announcement/dedication than an author's note but it is important—GO GET A PHYSICAL. Seriously, if you've never gotten one or never had an extensive one (where they do more than just looking at you and signing off as long as nothing's oozing), schedule one as soon as possible. Last August, a friend of mine was getting one for the soccer season and found out she had leukemia, despite not showing any of the normal symptoms. Her family was able to get the best medical care available for her and she was always very positive about what she was going through but she died last Tuesday night, which happened to be two days before her seventeenth birthday. She was one of the strongest people I've ever known or ever will know.

The song mentioned in this chapter was her favorite. I highly suggest looking up the lyrics.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the Teen Titans and the song "I'm Still Here" belongs to John Rzeznik of the Goo Goo Dolls.

080. Why?

It wasn't that the changeling was incapable of being mature. His friends all remembered his seriousness and intensity during such events as Terra's betrayal, the Malchoir incident, the time he discovered his inner Beast, Trigon's attack on their world, and the year-long war against the Brotherhood of Evil.

Most times, however, Beast Boy earned his reputation as a modern day court jester. Due to a mixture of a deep-seated desire to be liked and the fact that humor was his defense mechanism, he was a constant source of jokes and pranks. It was simply in his nature to make light of difficult situations, and although they would never admit it (on the very fist day they met, Raven had shown them the consequences of that), the Titans did think their green teammate was kind of funny and truly appreciated his attempts to ease tension. He helped them remember that, despite the seriousness of their job, it was still okay to laugh. Deep down, the Titans all believed that, without their changeling and his determination to find humor—corny or otherwise—in every situation, someone would have lost their mind due to stress or that they team would have fallen apart during the first year.

But after a week's worth of crime fighting that include several bank robberies courtesy of Red X, a Hive Five attack on Jump City's Museum of Modern Art, and Johnny Rancid's attempt to turn the main highway into a monster truck rally, Robin had a tendency to forget that.

"Beast Boy, if you're not going to take this seriously, _why_ do you even bother being a Titan?" Robin demanded furiously after the changeling played a particularly extravagant prank during a training session.

The shorter teenager looked shocked for a moment and then fixed his leader with an enraged glare. With a low growl, he stormed off, and no amount of coaxing from Starfire or promises of video games from Cyborg could make him come out of his room that day. Much later, when Robin really thought about what he had said and remembered some of Mento's more scathing comments toward the changeling, the Boy Wonder began to deeply regret his words.

Before he could talk to his teammate, however, Beast Boy confronted him. But instead of launching into an angry tirade like Robin expected, the green Titan simply shoved a small slip of paper into his hands.

"There's a song on there you should look up," was all Beast Boy would say.

Robin was unable to image what the song could have to do with—well, _anything_ but did download it. For the next week, the only music the spiky-haired teen listened to was John Rzeznik's "I'm Still Here."

After that, the two seemed to come to an understanding, and Robin never questioned the reasons behind Beast Boy's desire to be a hero again.


	32. Parents

**A/N**: I always wondered what the Doom Patrol's reaction to Beast Boy leaving—note that I say _leaving_. I don't think he was kicked off. I think Beast Boy himself made the choice to leave the Doom Patrol, after he saw that nothing he did was going to be enough for Mento—was, and this is my take on it. Please forgive the choppiness of this chapter; I wrote it as the inspiration came to me, and the inspiration came in spurts instead of sequential order. Some of the dialouge might be unnecessary but I was trying to show the relationship (as I perceive it) that Negative Man and Robotman had with Gar.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last update. The feedback is much appreciated and…hell, I just like hearing from people. So, please, continue telling me what you liked, didn't like, and/or what needs to be improved on.

**Disclaimer**: I still don't own the Teen Titans. I also don't own the Doom Patrol.

027. Parents

Elasti-Girl was crying and screaming, Mento seemed torn between defending and cursing himself, Robotman had stormed out of the room ten minutes ago, and the only thing Negative Man found he could do was try to remind himself that he had seen this coming.

_And yet it still hurts like hell, _he thought.

For at least a year, Negative Mad had known this was going to happen. Mento had been pushing the boy harder and harder to achieve some impossible goal of perfection while Gar had slowly but steadily begun to rebel against whatever plans his adopted father had for him. The arguments between the two were becoming increasingly heated and even when they weren't arguing, the silence between them—because they didn't speak unless they were arguing—was so tense it was a wonder the air itself didn't crackle with intensity. The rest of the team was constantly on edge, waiting for the next explosion between Mento and Gar, and Robotman could be often be seen consoling a distraught Elasti-Girl, assuring her that her son would not disappear in the middle of the night.

Negative Man knew his comrade was lying through his teeth. They had both agreed that it was only a matter of time before their changeling finally became so frustrated and hurt by Mento that he left. The bandaged man had been certain that the boy would go before his fourteenth birthday, and although Robotman fervently believed it would be a few more years after that, the pair had long ago started preparing for a Doom Patrol that did not include a small, green changeling.

Now, ignoring the infuriated argument between Elasti-Girl and Mento as he made his way to their headquarters' basement, Negative Man reflected on the problems with his conversations with his robotic teammate. For all their pragmatism, they had made the mistake of using words like 'eventually', 'years', and 'longer'. They had thought they would have more time.

_And maybe…maybe we never _really_ thought Gar would go_, he thought with a shake of his head.

They had been wrong, and so Negative Man found that he was not prepared to deal with it the morning the Doom Patrol discovered that their youngest member had left.

"Cliff? Where are you?" Negative Man called as he reached the bottom of the staircase. He spotted the large metal man sitting on a bunch of crates, clutching a piece of notebook paper in his hand. "What's that?"

"A note from Gar," Robotman grunted thickly. He waved the paper at his teammate. "The hand-writing is pretty good but his spelling is terrible—didn't you teach that kid how to spell?"

Negative Man wished his eyes were visible. It would have made rolling them much more effective. "Gar's a good boy but he never was the most studious of pupils. And it never helped that you would always steal him away to play video games during his lesson time." The bandaged man paused waited until the disgruntled expression faded from the robotic man's face before nodding toward the note. "So…what did he say?"

"That he loves us and he's sorry but he wants to prove that he can be a hero his own way, and he'll call us when he gets to wherever he's going," Robotman replied with a sigh. "I wish he'd at least waited until this morning to go."

"If he had, he knew we would have stopped him," Negative Man shook his head. "Besides, don't all children instinctively know that running away must be done at night?"

"He shouldn't have had to run away," the robotic man replied with a growl. "This is his _home_. He shouldn't have felt like he needed to get away from it."

_Away from his father, more like, _Negative Man amended silently. He knew his leader loved his son but Mento had never acted like he wanted Gar to be a part of the Doom Patrol, despite being the one to insist that the child "pull his weight" as a crime fighter from the beginning.

Strangely enough, it had been Cliff who had been the most opposed to having Gar on the team, saying a kid would only get in the way of their missions (although Negative Man secretly thought his teammate's opposition had more to do with the robotic man's fear that his appearance would cause a small child to burst into tears). But the moment Gar met Robotman, the green child had simply grinned—he had been missing on of his front teeth at the time, Negative Man remembered with a small smile—and held up a portable video game system, asking if the adult wanted a turn. Robotman had all but melted on the spot.

In fact, the moment that little green kid had walked into their lives, something had changed in every one of them. Elasti-Girl, for all her adherence to Doom Patrol policy, was a very warm individual who often forced the team to take breaks on holidays and sit down to a homemade meal (that Robotman most often cooked) at least once a week. She had always dreamed of having a family and when they rescued Gar from his thieving guardian, she had known that she needed him as much as he needed her. Robotman became less closed off and angry at the world. The robotic man even admitted to feeling more human when he was teaching Gar a knock-knock joke or how to make a snowball than when he was actually saving humanity from the hordes of villains they often fought.

Negative Man himself could relate to that sentiment—the kid had worked similar miracles in him. He had been the one to teach Gar how to multiply, divide, and write in cursive but Negative Man often found himself learning more important lessons from the changeling's perpetual optimism and humor. Gar gave that necessary spark that made cynics like him remember that there was a reason the world was still worth saving.

Even Mento had changed, although his transformations were a little harder to spot as he continued to be the dedicated, almost severe leader he had always been. But everyone knew (although no one ever said anything or told Gar) that after particularly dangerous missions, the helmet would come off, and the man known as Steve Dayton would watch his adopted son sleep, as if to reassure himself that whatever criminal they had just fought had not taken away the child he loved so much—but had absolutely no idea how to show.

_Should have taken the damn helmet off more often, Steve,_ Negative Man thought bitterly. _All Gar wanted was to know you were proud of him. Was that so hard to say?_

As if reading his friend's thoughts, Robotman suddenly slammed his fist into a wall. "Steve is such an ass! Didn't he realize he was driving the kid away?" the robotic man demanded furiously—and rhetorically, but Negative Man wisely kept that observation to himself. "'You've got to be faster, Gar.' 'You didn't change into the right animal, Gar.' 'You're not trying hard enough, Gar.' Christ! Most of the time, _I_ wanted to hit him for talking to the boy like that!"

"I think Rita is taking care of that. Last I saw, she was throwing everything she could get her hands on at Steve's head," Negative Man commented dryly. He couldn't blame her—the moment he realized their changeling was gone, it had taken all of his self-control not to start beating his leader with the man's own helmet. He sent his teammate a pointed look. "Actually, I'm kind of surprised _you_ aren't up there helping her."

Robotman glanced at him before shrugging uncomfortably. "Yeah, well, I wanted to but after I read the note, I came down here 'cause…when Gar was younger, he liked to play hide-n-seek in here. I thought that maybe…"

Negative Man understood. "That maybe he was just hiding down here?"

"Uh-huh. But guess what? He's not. He's gone, Lar, and I know we talked about this happening but…I can't believe it. Our boy's really gone." The robotic man was staring hard at the ground. Negative Man leaned against the stair rail, and the two were silent for a long time as each became consumed with similar thoughts and memories. After what felt like an eternity, Robot Man spoke again. "Larry?"

"What?"

"Do you think Gar's okay? What if something happens to him out there? He's not even thirteen yet!" If the situation hadn't been so serious and if they hadn't been hurting as much as they were, it might have been comical to watch the rough-and-tough Robotman actually wringing his hands with worry. "And where's he going to go, anyway? He doesn't know anyone but us. God, what if someone tries to pick him up? There are some really sick freaks out there who would love to get their hands on a kid like Gar and—"

That train of thought made Negative Man's stomach clinch so he interrupted quickly. "You sound like Rita."

"Yeah?" Robotman demanded. His worry quickly turned to fury, as Negative Man had anticipated it would. "Well, _you_ sound like you don't care what happens to Gar!"

"You _know_ I do," the bandaged man replied with just a hint of anger. He did not want to get into an argument but he certainly was not going to have anyone say he did not care about the boy. "I love Gar just as much as you do, Cliff, but he wasn't happy here. And if nothing else, that kid _deserves_ to be happy."

The anger on Robotman's face faded just as quickly as it came. He mumbled an apology and went back to staring at the floor. "It's just…he should have been happy here, Larry. We're supposed to be his family. We should have found a way to make sure he was."

"We are still his family and for a long time, Gar was happy here but he couldn't handle Steve constantly pressuring him to be someone he wasn't. As much as I hate it, our green bean made the right decision to leave before something happened that would permanently damage their relationship." Negative Man could see that his teammate was slowly calming down and so he said the next part as much for his own reassurance as for Robotman's. "He'll be okay, Cliff. Gar is a smart kid who knows how to take care of himself better than most adults do. Who knows—maybe he'll find another team and we'll be seeing his face all over the news before long."

After a moment, Robotman nodded. "I still say this is all Steve's fault."

"Yeah, it is. But he'll make it up to Gar one day. _We'll_ make sure of that." A loud crashing sound from upstairs caused Negative Man to sigh heavily. "Let's go up and make sure we don't have to bury any bodies."

Robotman waved him away. "You go. I still want to think about some stuff."

Negative Man was about to acquiesce when he noticed his friend furiously rubbing at his face. Upon closer inspection, he realized that the robotic man was brushing tears out of his eyes. "Cliff…are you _crying_?"

"_No_!...yes. I miss the kid." The robotic man sniffed and rubbed at the metal plating of his chest. "It feels like someone's drilling a hole in me, and that hole just keeps getting bigger every time I think that Gar isn't going to be here anymore. I know I wasn't the one to adopt him but…he was still my boy, you know? I love the little string bean like he's mine own, and I wish he was still here."

Feeling a stinging sensation in his own eyes, Negavite Man sighed and put a comforting hand on his friend's metal shoulder. "I know. I feel like that, too. But come on—you're going to rust and we should really go make sure Rita doesn't decapitate Steve."

The robotic man grumbled as they walked up the stairs. "Y'know, Larry—right now, I wouldn't mind if she did."

"Honestly, neither would I," Negative Man replied. "But I don't want the next conversation I have with Gar to be an explanation of why his mother killed his idiot father."

As they reached the top of the stairs and tried to keep a furiously sobbing Elasti-Girl from committing murder in the first degree, Negative Man fully realized that no amount of preparation would have made any of them ready for life without Gar. The Doom Patrol would still find a way to function as a team, and their missions would still be successfully completed but there would be less laughter and smiles to help them get from day to day. Elasti-Girl and Mento's marriage would not fall apart, but Elasti-Girl would probably never completely forgive her husband for driving their adopted son away, and Negative Man was certain that, deep down, Mento would never be able to forgive himself either. Both parents—no, the entire _team_, because Negative Man knew he and Robotman would always feel some parental responsibility and pride when it came to Gar, was having to deal with the pain of letting their child go far too soon.

_I wonder if this is what empty nest syndrome feels like, _Negative Man mused. He was almost sure that it was because although he did want Gar to be happy and to follow his own path…

…he hoped that whatever life the changeling made for himself would have enough room for the Doom Patrol to play some part in it.


	33. Work

**A/N**: This is set between the fourth and the fifth season. There's no real reason for that, except it helps set up a theme that I'm going to explore in a later oneshot and I need to write more about things that happened before the war with the Brotherhood o' Evil. Apologies if this seems a tad choppy—I wanted to get this (and the other two updates) out before exams really start up and because I'm not sure if I'll be able to post again until after May 27th. I'm heading overseas on for a few poetry workshops (which is a laugh because I am an absolutely abysmal poet. I think they wanted me to go for the sole reason that they needed another person who can drive a stick) on May 7th, and although I hope to get a few more oneshots out before then, I can't make any promises. So if that's the case, I hope you guys enjoy the triple update!

And I know that I'm not exactly done with the review replies from the last update but no worries—I will finish them. I appreciate you reviewers too much not to, even though I am sorry for the lateness. And if you review anonymously, please leave me an email address because I would still like to respond to you.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the Titans. Would I bother with a disclaimer if I did?

089. Work

Beast Boy knew that, as a superhero, attachments were dangerous. He had grown up knowing that it was never a good idea for him to get too close to anything—possessions, places, and especially people. It was one thing to protect the general population—he was supposed to do that—but it was another thing entirely to get emotionally involved with others. It was all-too-easy to make enemies in this line of work, and when those enemies couldn't get to you, they targeted the people around you. Mento had told him that for years in an effort to convince the green young man to be careful of the relationships he made.

"Love is when you care about someone else more than yourself and your responsibilities. You want to protect them, to keep them safe—and you'll do anything to accomplish that goal," Mento sternly informed him. "Love makes you too weak to make good decisions. Love makes you too foolish to see things clearly. And therefore, love is dangerous to people like us, Gar."

Beast Boy had always followed that statement with a nod of understanding but, as the leader of the Doom Patrol was both married and his adopted father, the changeling had paid very little attention to that particular warning. He had always known that he was going to deeply care about other people. As both a member of the Doom Patrol and a Titan, he was going to think of his teammates as family, he was going to place their safety above the success of a mission, and he was going to make stupid decisions in order to protect them. He would do absolutely anything for them, and that was simply the way things were. Maybe that was a dangerous way to be but Beast Boy had never worried about it.

Until now, when he was being forced to realize exactly what doing anything encompassed.

"You are going to get yourself killed." As she healed him, Raven's words were more clipped than usual—a sure sign that she was furious with him. And Beast Boy thought she had a valid point—jumping on Plasmus's back had been kind of dumb. Even if he had been a gorilla at the time and even if the move had subdued the creature long enough for Cyborg to get a clear shot, Beast Boy had gotten himself shocked and thrown through a ninth story window. The shock had stunned him, and if Starfire hadn't followed after him to catch him, the changeling knew there wouldn't have been enough left of him for Raven to heal. So, yes, the green teenager knew he was lucky to have walked away from the fight with only cuts and burns.

But that didn't mean he was going to admit it. "No, I'm no—OW! Geez, Rae, don't poke at it!"

The dark Titan ignored him and continued assessing how bad the burn was before healing it. "Yes, you are. You act like a fool, you're reckless, and you go looking for trouble."

"Um, dude, have you noticed what we do for a living? I'm actually _supposed_ to go looking for trouble!" Beast Boy exclaimed impatiently. He rubbed at the place where a cut had been a few moments before. The skin was completely healed and there was no scar but the place still had an odd tingle to it. "It's our job to protect people, and I'm going to do that not matter what. So what if I get a little scraped up?"

"You _didn't_ get a little scraped up. You got _stunned_ and _thrown_ out of a _high rise building_," the Azarathian sharply reminded him, emphasizing her statement to make sure he understood that he had made an incredibly foolish decision. "Do you realize that the glass from the window alone could have killed you?"

He did know that but there hadn't been time to think about that then, and honestly, he wasn't worried about it now. The green teen wanted to shrug his shoulders but they were still a little sore. "Well, our line of work's always been kinda risky, right? But it's not like I'm going to really die."

"Beast Boy," Raven interjected, raising her voice slightly. Dark energy caused a nearby infirmary bed to rattle, and she exhaled slowly, whispering her mantra to calm herself. Her voice, however, was still faintly emotional when she continued. "If you get killed, you'll make a murderer out of me."

The changeling sighed in exasperation. "I _told_ you, I'm not going—" he stopped, and it took a full thirty seconds to process what she had said. "Wait, _what_?"

Her eyes locked with his, and the intensity in them made him forget to breathe. "You heard me. If someone took your life, I would take theirs. Nothing in this world would be able to protect them from me."

"That's…that's kind of scary, Raven." But he remembered when his foot had been trapped and how the rock Terra was holding was poised to kill him. He remembered her words—and realized he had believed her then as much as he did now.

"Yes, it is." Raven stared impassively at him before going back to healing his side. "But I would still do it."

Beast Boy didn't say anything as she grabbed the tweezers. The glass had to be removed from his hand before she could heal it, and they both seemed to prefer to focus their gazes intently on his hand rather than look each other in the eye.

One statement had changed their entire conversation from their regular banter to something far, far more grim. Or maybe—no, _definitely_—she had been this serious all along, and he just hadn't noticed. And apparently, he hadn't noticed a lot of things.

Like the fact that the girl in front of him, a friend who had been raised by a bunch of pacifists and who still wasn't sure how to function now that she did not have to emotionally isolate herself from others, was willing to take lives for him.

Like the fact that he was abruptly gripped with the realization that he would do no less for her or any of his friends.

He couldn't sacrifice them, he realized, and despite the sick twist of guilt in his stomach that came with such an understanding, the green young man knew it was true. It would not matter how great the need was or what was at stake or that it was his job to make these decisions—Beast Boy already knew he just wouldn't be able do give them up.

Beast Boy doubted he was the first hero to figure this out. Robin had not been able to sacrifice them for the good of all. He had chosen to be the slave of the most evil villain in the city and commit crimes rather than let his team be harmed.

Mento had only been able to do it to a certain extent. Despite his ruthlessness during missions, he had still married Rita and adopted Beast Boy. The man's determination to make sure Beast Boy was the type of fighter he wanted him to be had been the cause of their rift but even now, the changeling knew his father still cared about him. Maybe that was the reason Mento had pushed so hard in the first place—maybe the leader of the Doom Patrol had been afraid something would happen to Beast Boy if the green boy did not drive himself as hard as he was pushed to.

Hell, even the great Batman had not been able to do it completely. Beast Boy had only met him once or twice but he had not forgotten that the man smelled like expensive cologne, sweat, and Kevlar. There had been times, like after the incident when Robin was infected with hallucinogens from Slade's mask and the near end of the world, when the changeling had been able to detect that scent outside the Tower. If the Boy Wonder knew anything about the Caped Crusader's secret check-ups, he never mentioned them but the green young man doubted he did.

It helped to know that he wasn't alone in putting the people he cared about before his responsibilities but he knew it did not make what he felt right. This was not the way a superhero was supposed to feel. Beast Boy knew he should have been able to bear the burden of sacrifice, to make decisions that would be for the good of everyone—not just those he loved.

But that was thing—he loved _them_, and not the world and all the people in it. He truly would do anything for Raven and for the rest of his team and family. Morality could be damned. He would cross lines. He would break laws. He would put the entire world at risk. He'd done it once before for the Doom Patrol, and what he would do for the Titans…

It scared him to think about it now but he knew it fell under the category of anything.

_Mento was right_, the changeling realized. Doing what they did every day, dealing with the constant threats of villains who wanted to decimate their city and kill them…it made attachments to people dangerous. Having a wife and a son to think about on missions had probably taught the Doom Patrol's leader that.

But, as he watched Raven continue to heal his injuries, Beast Boy realized something else that his adopted father must have discovered.

He wouldn't let anything take the people he loved from him—including knowing they were a liability.

"Hey, Rae?"

She paused and looked at him. "What?"

Beast Boy was quiet for only a second longer as he thought of the times he had been a Beast—always for her. "I'd do the same for you."

"I know," Raven replied quickly and in a way that told him she was not surprised by his statement. But her next words were far more hesitant. "That's what scares _me_."

The changeling nodded, suddenly feeling torn between a desire to laugh—because they cared so much about each other, they would kill—or to cry—again, because they cared so much about each other, they would kill.

"Yeah," he said quietly. "Scares me, too."


	34. School

**A/N**: Based off a piece of advice an old coach once gave me, the fact that I convince one of my friends to say it in her valedictorian speech, and our principal's reaction to it. This oneshot may not be as funny as I had hoped it would be but I can assure you that speech was on of the highlights of my high school career.

**Disclaimer**: I still don't own the Titans.

088. School

"I can't believe you!" Robin shouted. It was clear that he was more shocked and exasperated than angry—if the Boy Wonder had been angry, Beast Boy knew he would have been getting his butt kicked up and down the training room right now—but he still seemed pretty upset. In fact, from the way he was frantically pacing a hole into the carpeting and the feverish look on his face, the leader of the Teen Titans appeared to be about two steps away from a panic attack.

Raven looked up from her book long enough to raise an eyebrow. "_I_ can."

Starfire was looking from one teammate to the other, obviously hoping for an explanation from someone but Robin was too involved in his diatribe to answer any questions and Raven had said that explaining anything Beast Boy did was beyond her capabilities. Cyborg had been cracking up since they left the auditorium and was still laughing too hard to be of help to anyone.

Beast Boy simply didn't see what the big deal was. "I still don't get why you're freaking out, Rob. They asked for some words of wisdom, and I provided."

The Boy Wonder paused in his pacing and gaped at the changeling. "Beast Boy, do you have any idea what you said?!"

"Uh, yeah, dude. I _was_ the one to say it, after all," Beast Boy replied, putting his hands on his hips and sending his leader a look that quite obviously meant 'duh'. "It was good advice. What's the problem?"

"_Good advice_? You said—you said—!" Robin continued sputtering for a few more seconds before taking a deep breath and shooting his teammate an indescribably pained look. "Jalapeños, Beast Boy? Really?"

"What is wrong with jalapeños?" the changeling demanded indignantly.

A blood vessel on Robin's forehead started throbbing but before he could say anything, Starfire jumped in. "Friends, could you kindly explain what Beast Boy has done? He appeared to speak to the assembly with great seriousness and prudence. I do not understand what error has been made."

"We let Beast Boy speak in public. That was an error."

Beast Boy shot Raven a dirty look. "Was not! I didn't do anything wrong. Life really _is_ like a jar of jalapeños and what you do today really _can_ burn your butt tomorrow!"

Cyborg, who had just started calming down, began to crack up again while Robin groaned and grabbed a fistful of his own hair. He didn't yank it out thankfully. Even distraught as he was, Robin was mindful not to mess up his gel job.

"And there is some significance behind this phrase?" the Tamaranean inquired curiously.

"It just means that the choices a person makes today can affect his future," Beast Boy explained. He turned to the Boy Wonder with a mixture of righteous anger and confusion. "Which is totally awesome advice, thankyouverymuch!"

"Then why didn't you just say that?" the Boy Wonder cried wildly, waving his arms and the Titans wisely chose not to inform their hysterical leader that his arm-flapping made him truly resemble his namesake. Robin paused in his panicking long enough to give his half-metal teammate a seething look. "And Cyborg, _you are not helping_!"

The changeling backed away from his leader with an expression of disgusted. "Dude, _yuck_—say it, don't spray it! And stuff like that sounds cooler if you say it in a…a metaphor?" He looked to Raven for confirmation and beamed when she nodded. "Yeah, a metaphor."

"But you—you just—argggghhh! You are _never_ allowed to speak at a graduation again!" Robin thundered before storming out of the common room. Starfire, still carrying a perplexed expression, followed after him, shaking her head and mumbling about odd earthen customs.

Beast Boy watched them go before scratching the back of his neck and turning to Raven. "I still don't get it, Rae. _Why_ is he so upset? And seriously, Cy, it wasn't _that_ funny."

"Well, the Jump City Academy for the Academically Gifted is one of the most prestigious schools on the west coast," the Azarathian replied with a shrug. She sent an annoyed look to Cyborg—who was _still_ howling—and a dark strip of power suddenly appeared over the robotic man's mouth. He immediately stopped laughing and began trying to yank it off while gesturing to Raven to let him go. She ignored him and continued talking to Beast Boy. "He probably wants the millionaire who funds it to see the Titans as a respectable superhero squad."

"Okay, so? It's not like my little pearl of wisdom is going to change that," Beast Boy huffed. He jumped on the couch beside Raven and crossed his arms over his chest. "Besides, why should Robin care about what Bruce Wayne thinks anyway?"


	35. Spade

**A/N**: This oneshot is 1) based on the phrase 'to call a spade a spade' which means to call something what it is instead of pretending it is something else and 2) is a sort-of deleted scene from the episode Spellbound. Let's pretend there was a little time before Raven showed off her new white clothes to the other Titans and Malchoir proved what a great, big asshole he was, because that is where this oneshot would fit. In case you haven't seen the episode, Raven uses some of the dark magic Malchoir taught her to change Beast Boy's form as a way of letting him know she did not appreciate him sneaking around her room. I agree that she should have been annoyed—but using her powers to manipulate his was completely uncalled for. It's a little dramatic but in BB's shoes, I think I'd be pretty upset, too.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the Titans.

050. Spade

He was shaking, which would have surprised him had he been able to focus clearly on anything except the retreating white cloak before him. Or maybe it wouldn't have surprised him—after all, Beast Boy couldn't remember feeling like this about any of his teammates before.

Actually, he couldn't remember ever being this…he didn't know a word to describe this feeling but it was somewhere beyond anger and fury, and it made him feel sick with its intensity and heat. Knowing he was on the edge of exploding, he was dimly aware of the fact that he would probably regret this later but at the moment, later didn't matter much to Beast Boy. No one had ever pushed him this far before, which was kind of ironic as he was usually the one pushing her. She was typically the one who was mad at him, and even when she did do something he didn't like, the most he could do was be frustrated. She never did anything to produce the kind of rage he was feeling right now.

Of course, she had never done anything like this to him either.

"RAVEN!" The ferocity in his voice made the small lucid part of him quiver.

"I'm busy, Beast Boy," Raven said. She didn't turn around when she spoke and even though her tone was pleasant, it carried a warning not to disturb her.

Beast Boy didn't care, and the fact that the way he sounded—because he _knew_ he had never spoken to her like that before—did not even make her pause only made the inferno in his veins burn hotter. She was only a few steps ahead of him so he caught up easily and grabbed her wrist to turn her around. "Don't you ever do that again!"

"Do what again?" she asked in genuine confusion. With a frown, she pulled her wrist away from him. "And don't touch me."

"Change me!" Beast Boy growled, ignoring her comment. Raven stared at him in surprise, and that only infuriated him more. How dare she act like she had not expected this reaction? How dare she act like she had not known this would upset him, like it was a perfectly acceptable thing for her to do? "Those are my powers, Raven! What gives you the right to mess around with them?"

The shock faded from her gaze, and violet eyes narrowed into dangerous slits. "What gives _you_ the right to snoop around in my room?"

"That's a completely different thing! I was worried about you! I wanted to make sure you were okay!"

"So you violate my privacy?" Raven asked coldly. "How chivalrous of you."

"_I_ violated _your_ privacy?" the changeling repeated incredulously. His face twisted into a snarl. "You took control of my body and manipulated my powers without my consent—that's the worst kind of violation, Raven! I'm not your frigging toy, and I'm not something to experiment with! I'm a person!"

"I know you're a person!"

"Then treat me like one, dammit! For once, treat me like you care about what happens to me! Treat me like we're actually friends instead of—" He stopped, and even though she gave him a moment to continue, he could not finish his statement. He finally wanted to call their relationship what it was, and he realized he didn't know any words to describe it. Or rather, he did—but he had never thought any of those words would ever describe them.

A flicker of confusion showed on the Azarathian's stoic expression, and when she spoke again, her voice carried a hint of uncertainty that she tried to hide through defensiveness. "Don't play the victim here, Beast Boy. You've toyed with my powers before. Remember the first time you broke into my room?"

"That was an accident, and you know I wasn't trying to hurt you or use you. I would never do that to you." The heat was fading away from him but the feeling replacing it was much hollower, albeit just as nameless. He almost would have preferred the intensity of the last emotion to the raw emptiness filling him now. "And…I didn't think you'd ever do it to _me_."

There was a pause after that, as if neither of them were completely sure of what to do next. From Raven's wide-eyed expression, Beast Boy was sure she didn't know what to say to him.

And he was finding that he didn't really want to hear anything she had to say.

It was after a full minute of waiting for Beast Boy to break the chilling silence that Raven realized he wasn't going to. This time when she spoke to him, there was no mistaking the insecurity in her voice. "I…was just trying to teach you a lesson. I didn't know it would upset you."

Beast Boy stared at her, thinking that he should have felt better. That was the closest Raven had ever come to apologizing to him for anything.

He did not feel better.

"You should have," the changeling told her, and when it grew quiet between them again, Beast Boy was certain he did not want to hear anything else from her, which was funny in a kind of painful way, because she seemed to be searching for something else to tell him. Instead of waiting, though, Beast Boy simply turned and went back toward the common room. She wasn't going to follow him, he knew.

And, oddly enough, that was the hardest part about it all—knowing that when he walked away, she would not run after him.

Later, he would probably blame himself for everything but at the moment, the changeling thought that it had all been doomed from the beginning. Their first few months of knowing each other had not turned out well—he had been too eager to please and she hadn't been ready for the attention—and that was probably why everything that followed went wrong, too. Their fights, and the way those fights usually stemmed from his immaturity and her holier-than-thou complex. How she wanted to be left alone and how he could never do that to her. All the times she couldn't take a joke and he couldn't stop making them. The fact that she was never the first to apologize after an argument and he was always willing to do anything to gain her forgiveness, the fact that he was certain she meant every insult she'd ever thrown at him and he'd never wanted to hurt her.

_He _would have run after her. _He_ would apologize to her. _He_ would have tried to make her laugh. _He_ would have been and had always been there for her no matter what. _He_ would do just about anything for her.

Beast Boy knew Raven wouldn't do the same for him.

And he was tired of pretending that was someday going to change.


	36. Sound

**A/N**: Set after the events of Haunted. Written because I survived on less than six hours of sleep for three days.

Of course, now I can't feel my head but that's beside the point.

**Disclaimer**: This is getting redundant but I still don't own the Titans.

037. Sound

Beast Boy realized that he was awake at about the same moment that he realized he did not remember falling asleep. He made a groggy attempt to get up but the ache in his body quickly stopped him, and instead the changeling focused on how he had gotten to…wherever he was. He could recall being in the infirmary. He had just gotten his sneezing—and morphing, for that matter—under control and the girls were having a good laugh at his expense. He had wanted to tell them to leave him alone so he could wallow in misery in peace but whatever energy he had to yell abruptly left him. The temperature seemed to drop dramatically in the next few seconds, and he began shivering. He wanted to morph into something with a thick coat of fur but couldn't muster up the will to do so.

The last thing he remembered was curling into a ball and shutting his eyes to block out the suddenly too-bright lights. He thought he had heard Starfire stop laughing and anxiously ask, "Friend? Are you truly unwell?" but he couldn't be certain.

Now he didn't know where he was but he _did_ know that he was simultaneously burning up and freezing. His entire body was sore and stiff—that included even his _lips_, which were dry and cracked from breathing out of his mouth too long—while his head felt thick and pounded mercilessly, telling him that it would also be painful to open his eyes. He would have to rely on his other senses to figure out where he was. His stuffy nose was still working, though barely as he couldn't pick up the faint smells of oil, gel, lavender, and mustard that normally drifted through the Tower. He couldn't smell the acrid anesthesia anymore so he knew he was no longer in the infirmary. He was lying on something soft and since the heavy scent of tofu and old socks wasn't wafting in the air, he knew he wasn't in his bedroom either.

Which was a good thing—with how weak his immune system was at the moment, the disaster area he called a room was not the place for him to be.

Thankfully, he could still hear well enough and the sharp sound of a pot hitting a pan met his ears, causing him to realize that the kitchen was nearby. And since he was lying on something cushy, Beast Boy decided he had to be on the couch. He wanted to give a triumphant smile but felt that would take too much effort.

The murmuring voices around him told Beast Boy that his friends were close but speaking quietly. They didn't seem to know he was awake but that was fine with him. He didn't feel well enough to talk and listening to their conversations helped to distract him from exactly how bad he really did feel.

"…shouldn't have been out in that weather," Robin was saying. While Beast Boy could barely make out the sound of Robin's feet worriedly pacing around the common area, he had no problem hearing the Boy Wonder berate himself. "He kept saying he wasn't feeling well, and he didn't look well either, which I should have noticed. I should have paid more attention to his condition. I should have let him take a break instead of allowing him to overexert himself—"

"Robin," Starfire interrupted quickly. "I believe that Beast Boy's catching of the influenza has more to do with a germ than you, yes?"

"Well…maybe, but—"

"Then you shall accompany me on my journey to get the medicine which will combat the infinitesimal invader that has infested our friend!" The Tamarian princess exclaimed. A surprised yelp told Beast Boy that Starfire had probably picked Robin up and was heading toward the door. "Come, Robin, we will also retrieve more Advil for your injuries while we are out."

Had he been feeling a bit better, the scene—or what he heard of it, at least—would have made Beast Boy laugh. He shuddered more violently as a sudden chill ran up his spine and in the back of his feverish mind, Beast Boy thought about how odd it was that he was sweating _and_ shivering at the same time. He could feel moisture gathering on his forehead and the back of his neck but he couldn't keep his body from shaking with cold. The changeling could not force himself to feel too worried about that paradox, though, not when he was just thankful that he'd stopped sneezing.

The warm fleece blanket that was suddenly draped over him did wonders to fight off the chill. Something soft—a towel, he thought—on his forehead wiped away the beads of sweat gathering there and that sensation was replaced by a cool hand, which felt wonderful against his burning skin.

"He's still feverish," someone said. The voice was gravely but feminine. Raven.

"Maybe we should make some soup…" Cyborg mused. From the sound of clanging pots, it appeared that the half-metal teen was already putting his plan in motion.

"What kind?" The couch dipped down, and the changeling realized she must have taken a seat next to him. "It's not like he'll eat chicken noodle."

"I don't think he could keep the noodles down anyway." Beast Boy was almost sure Cyborg was frowning thoughtfully now. "Maybe we could drain the noodles out and just give him the broth."

He was absolutely certain Raven had just rolled her eyes. "Chicken broth? You're going try to give Beast Boy _chicken_ broth?"

Fearing for his vegetarian way of life, Beast Boy struggled to gain enough consciousness to dispel the chicken soup plan. He opened his eyes and couldn't find the strength the blink the blurriness from his sight. His throat hurt but he forced himself to speak.

"Cy?" the changeling called. Raven looked down at him, and he realized how close his head was to her lap. An idea formed in his head, and he was coherent enough to realize it wasn't a good one but sick enough to not really care. Moving a few inches felt like miles but he managed to maneuver his head to lie slightly on her leg. She was probably annoyed by this action but didn't push him away so Beast Boy was more than content to stay where he was. "Du', no chicken."

Raven sent the half-robot a pointed look. "See? I told you he wouldn't want it."

Cyborg's head suddenly appeared in the changeling's fuzzy field of vision. "It'll make you feel better, B. Go back to sleep for now, though."

Beast Boy shook his head and winced at the pain the action caused. "No chic'en," the changeling repeated thickly.

His best friend sighed and gently patted his head. "Okay, okay, no chicken. I promise."

Beast Boy nodded slightly and curled up tighter under the blanket. When he woke up a few hours later, he could still hear the others around him. His head was still on Raven but a slight dip near his feet told him that another person was on the couch.

"…here tonight. I'll stay with him." Robin's voice again and coming from the other side of the couch but Beast Boy couldn't tell what the conversation was about.

"No way, man, you've had a rough couple of days, too," Cyborg replied firmly. From the determination in the half-metal man's voice, the green teen figured his arms were crossed. "You need your rest. I'll watch him."

"He wouldn't be in this position if it weren't for me," the Boy Wonder responded stubbornly. Beast Boy wished he had the energy to roll his eyes, thinking that if one of the Titans ever got a splinter, Robin would find some way to blame himself for it. "I want to be here."

"I'm _already_ here." Raven's voice this time. "He's actually being quiet so if I want to meditate I can. Plus, this book is interesting enough that I would probably be up all night reading it anyway. I might as well just stay here."

He expected Starfire to speak up next, and she didn't disappoint him. "But you all have done so very much for our beleaguered friend today while I have done so very little. It is only fair that I be allowed to do my fair share of the caretaking by staying up with Beast Boy."

"That's sweet, Star, and you know the little guy would appreciate it but you've done just as much as the rest of us," Cyborg told kindly her, and Beast Boy wondered just when his best friend had decided that his teammates were the younger siblings he'd never had. "Okay, y'all, let's look at this logically. The city could need us tomorrow, and with BB and Rob out of commission—don't give me that look, gel-head. You _are_ sitting out tomorrow and if you don't, I'll sic Star on you—it would be a good idea to have to have you girls completely rested. I can recharge at any time—"

"But that's exactly why I should be the one to watch BB—I can't do anything else." Robin sounded somewhat bitter but still determined to have his own way.

Starfire seemed to be equally resolute. "I _insist_ that I have the job of watching over Beast Boy. I have already taken charge of Robin's recovering so I see no reason why I should not care for Beast Boy as well."

"He's using _me_ as his pillow so I'm stuck here regardless. There's no point in anyone else staying up, too," Raven said, seeming to ignore the fact that she could shove his head off her at any time. There was a hint of annoyance in her voice but for the first time in as long as the changeling could remember, it wasn't directed at him. "Now will all of you stop talking before you wake him up?"

Beast Boy felt a small smile form on his lips. They were arguing over him, over who would be the one to take care of him. He didn't want to be a burden but the thought of them all being so concerned about his health that they were willing to stay up all night with him made the green teen feel completely contented. Well…as content as it was possible to feel when dealing with the flu. His body still ached, and his hearing was still the only sense that seemed to be functioning properly but his friends were near and obviously cared about him. Beast Boy didn't think he could ask for more than that.

They were still talking but it seemed like they'd finally come to the decision that they would _all_ stay on the couch that night and just sleep in shifts. The current topic of discussion was who would take the first shift but Beast Boy did not feel like paying much attention to it. The sounds of their voices were soothing enough that he could feel himself drifting off again.

He would never admit it but having the others fuss over him, being babied…

It was kind of nice.


	37. Family

**A/N**: I'm back! Well, actually, I've been back since Wednesday of last week but writers' block and being without the Internet for most of this week because my brother is technologically inept kept me from updating. These two oneshots are rather long, though, so hopefully that makes up for the wait. And hopefully, I still have readers left. I really am sorry for the wait, guys.

Europe is awesome, by the way. If you have a half a chance to go, you really should. If you already live there, lucky you.

This takes place right after _Homecoming, Part II_. I always wondered exactly how the Titans got roped into fighting off the Brotherhood of Evil; I mean, I can understand Beast Boy's involvement because he has connections to the Doom Patrol but really (aside from the trivial matter of the world being in mortal peril), the rest of the Titans didn't have to do anything. So this oneshot is me answering my own question and stating my opinion of the team's relationships with each other. I've been working on it for awhile, and I think I finally managed to get the tone I wanted. Hopefully it's not too sappy.

**Disclaimer**: Nope, still don't own 'em. More like they own _me_, actually.

024. Family

Technically, Beast Boy knew he did not have to fight in this battle. After all, he was a Titan now, and the Brotherhood of Evil was not a Titan problem. He could walk away, and no one would have the right to say anything about it if he did.

The Doom Patrol needed him, though. Mento had specifically asked him to stay, and the changeling didn't know if it was because he felt he should aid the people who had practically raised him or because his adopted father had never once admitted the changeling's help was needed for anything that prompted the green teen to agree. Whatever his reason, Beast Boy knew he couldn't turn his back on the Doom Patrol. After all, they had been his only family for years, and he loved them fiercely.

But the Titans were his family _now_, and he loved them just as much. Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, and Raven would want to help, of course, especially if he was involved but Beast Boy was determined to dissuade them. His friends didn't need to be a part of this. He couldn't _let_ them be a part of this, not when he knew how ruthless the Brain and his minions could be. A few particularly nasty memories of fighting the Brotherhood ran through his head, and he held back a shudder as he remembered the way Elasti-Girl had screamed when Madame Rouge crushed her elongated arm under a six ton door and the time they'd had to rebuild Robotman nearly from scratch after Mallah and General Immortus had torn him apart.

_At least they're going to have plenty of fun trying to kill me_ _again__. It'll be like a family reunion—with arsenic in the lemonade and bombs in the potato salad, _Beast Boy thought bitterly, kicking at the dirt in front of the campfire. A loud round of laughter interrupted his thoughts, and the changeling tried to smile as Robotman and Elasti-Girl amused the Titans with a few embarrassing stories from his childhood but was well aware that his expression was strained. He hoped his friends hadn't noticed but from the way they were acting—Starfire and Cyborg were doing all they could to get him to participate in the conversation, Robin kept asking him specific questions about the training techniques he'd used as a kid, and Raven was spending most of the evening intently watching him—he figured they knew something was bothering him. The Titans were waiting for him to tell them but the green teen wanted to wait until the Doom Patrol turned in. He wanted this conversation to be private, and Mento must have realized that because he herded his team off to bed only a few minutes after the sun went down.

Robin, trying to be casual in a way that said he knew something unpleasant was happening, wasted no time. "You've been quiet all evening, Beast Boy. Is something wrong?"

The changeling tried to breathe through the leaden weight that had risen from his stomach to his chest as he suddenly realized the only way he knew how to tell them was to simply blurt it out. The Boy Wonder had given him a preamble, and he was going to take it.

"The Doom Patrol has asked me to stay. The Brotherhood is way, _way_ stronger than they've ever been, and Mento needs my help," Beast Boy explained quietly, and he paused for a moment to gauge his friends' reactions. Robin's expression was carefully neutral—far too carefully neutral, in fact—but Raven frowned and Starfire looked more than a little worried. Cyborg's jaw tightened as he put down his eighth hotdog to send seething looks toward the Doom Patrol's ship. "I guess you guys already know what I told them."

It wasn't really a question but Cyborg answered him anyway. "You said yes, didn't you?" When the changeling nodded, the half-metal man cursed, and his stare turned dangerous. Cyborg had not appreciated it when the Doom Patrol's leader had demanded that Beast Boy—and only Beast Boy—follow his team into the jungle, and the half-metal man had appreciated it even less when Mento's obstinacy had very nearly gotten his best friend killed. "But you don't have to do it, man. You're one of _us _now—they can't goad you into fighting for them."

"It's your choice," Raven told him but the way she emphasized her last word told him what she wanted him to do.

"They are right, Beast Boy," Starfire added, her tone making it obvious that she did not want him to be put in such danger.

Robin nodded, agreeing with the majority of his team. But the Boy Wonder, despite his mask and seeming objectivity, appeared a little more understanding. Beast Boy knew why—if the Boy Wonder's former mentor called for his help, he would feel the same obligation the changeling did now. "You don't have to get involved in this…unless you want to."

_Now here comes the hurricane_, Beast Boy thought gloomily. "I want to. But…but I don't want you guys to."

There was silence after that. The green teen had to suppress a groan, knowing he had just dropped a bomb on them and feeling their disbelieving looks boring holes into him. Instead of returning their stares, he kept his eyes resolutely fixed upon the fire, thinking that the scenario was almost funny, in a way that made his chest ache. Here they were in the middle of a dense jungle, sitting on logs surrounding a large campfire and roasting hotdogs in the flames. It was like someone was about to burst into "Kumbaya" at any moment, and Beast Boy was oddly reminded of all the summer camps he had never had the chance to go to.

"If you guys pack up right now and go, the Brotherhood might leave you alone," he added, not surprised that he had not received an immediate answer. Whatever they had expected or wanted him to choose, they had not anticipated that he would tell them to go. The Titans had faced every trouble, both public and personal, together. There was an unspoken but firmly established agreement that no matter what happened, they would all stand by one another and take care of each other—and now he was taking that back.

"Friend, surely…_surely_ you are not requesting that we leave you to fight alone?" Starfire finally gasped.

Beast Boy nodded tightly, still unable to look at them. His eyes had begun to sting furiously, and he feared that if he met their gazes, he wouldn't be able to hold back tears. Or worse—his resolve would slip, and he would beg them to stay. "Yeah, Star, I am. You've got a chance to get out of here before things get really bad—"

"You're serious?" Cyborg interrupted, his tone falling somewhere between incredulous and furious. Beast Boy knew his best friend was staring at him like he'd never seen him before. "You think we would actually leave you? Man, that is not happening! We're your friends!"

"That's why I'm asking you to go," Beast Boy replied desperately. _This is going to _kill_ me and I can't let it hurt you, I can't do that—_"You guys don't know what the Brain and his jerks are really like. You don't understand what you're getting yourselves into!"

"Yes, we do. Beast Boy, we've gone up against tough criminals before, and we fought the Brotherhood today," Robin said. He was obviously trying to be both practical and soothing, trying to keep his teammate from breaking down. "We know what they can do—"

"No, you don't! You have no idea!" Beast Boy suddenly shouted, causing them all to go silent again. His hands were beginning to tremble, forcing him clenched his fists to make them stop. "You think what you saw today is going to prepare you? It's not! The members of Brotherhood aren't your everyday bad guys—they're sociopaths! They don't make deals, they don't make mistakes, and they don't think twice! They just destroy! And there's no way—_no way_—I am going to let you guys get killed because of me!"

Starfire floated forward to lay a hand on the green boy's shoulder. "Beast Boy, there will be no death—"

"You're wrong, Star. They're looking to kill us," the changeling interrupted, moving out of the Tamaranian's reach and furiously rubbing his eyes. He took a few deep breaths to keep his voice from shaking. "Guys, please—_go_. That's the only way I know how to protect you."

The Boy Wonder spoke next and sounded both confused and astonished. "Protect—? Beast Boy, you don't have to protect us."

"Of course I do. I've always sucked at it, and you may not want me to do it right now, but I have to," Beast Boy told them. He didn't know how they could think anything differently, not when they had all always been so protective of him. Didn't they think he would feel the same way about them? He couldn't let them do this, not when there was a chance they could die. The changeling knew too much about being left behind to allow anyone to do it to him again. "You're not just my team, and you're not just my friends. You are my _family_, and…well, I love you guys. I wouldn't have made it this far without you. I wouldn't be _me_ without you. So if something happened to any of you…I couldn't handle it!"

"Neither could we if something happened to you!" Cyborg shouted, slamming his fist down on a log. It cracked but the half-metal man obviously didn't care. "If you're gonna stay, so are we!"

"You think you're going to die." Raven had only spoken once before, and her words brought on another silence. Beast Boy finally glanced up to look at her and immediately wished he hadn't. In all the time they'd known each other, she had never looked so furious with him. "And you are asking us to allow that."

The changeling gaped at her. He hadn't thought about it like that and struggled to find an answer. "N-no, that's not it—"

"Yes it is. You say that the Brain and his minions are killers—and then you expect us to leave you to them. You say you love us—and then ask us to leave you," Raven cut in. She moved so she could stand directly in front of him, and he could now hear the undercurrents of fury in her voice.

"I can take care of myself, Rae," the green teen said meekly. He wasn't so sure about that—now with the Brotherhood involved, anyway—but he felt like he should reassure her, especially since she looked like she was about to hurt him.

"And we can help you do that," she replied. Her eyes narrowed a bit more, and her next question was more like a blow to the stomach. "Are we traitors, Beast Boy?"

"What? Of course not! Why—"

Raven stopped him again. "Then do _not_ ask us to betray you. The Titans do not desert their friends, and you of all people should know that. You're not alone, Beast Boy."

Beast Boy inhaled sharply. He knew those words. She was using a completely unfair tactic, throwing a memory at him that was sure to weaken his defenses, and his vision blurred again as he tried to make eye contact with her, with all of them. They were looking at him with defiance, as if daring him to try and convince them to leave again.

Beast Boy found he couldn't do it.

"Why won't you leave?" he demanded plaintively, not caring that he sounded like a child. At the moment, he felt that helpless.

"On my planet, a close comrade-in-arms is the equivalent of a blood relation. We call them _yarbaffs_," Starfire answered. Smiling gently, she took the changeling's hand as if she were shaking it. "Beast Boy, you are my _yarbaff_. I will not abandon you."

"Me neither," Cyborg said, putting his large hand over theirs. He gave the green teen a reassuring grin and ruffled his hair. "You were the first person to look at me and not be freaked out. You're my best friend, dawg. I'm staying with you."

"You fought Slade to save me." With all the determination of a true leader and friend, the Boy Wonder added his hand to the pile. "I turned my back on you once. I won't make that mistake again."

"You faced the end of the world for me. And that time in my mind—you wouldn't leave me then." Raven didn't hesitate to put both her hands on top. "I'm not leaving you now."

Beast Boy stared at them, more tears evident in his eyes. He still didn't want them to do this. He didn't want them to risk their lives for him—but they were going to. They wouldn't let him do this alone, not when they could be there to stand beside him. He had made the choice to fight the Brotherhood of Evil. They had made the choice to fight with him.

And he had never loved them so much as he did then.

"Thank you," he finally whispered.

"No thanks is required, my friend. I believe the phrase is 'all for one, one for all'?" Starfire commented happily.

Despite himself, Beast Boy giggled. "We're not the mouseketeers, Star."

"It's musketeers but you're right. We aren't them," Robin said with a grin. "We're _better_. We're the Titans."

"We're family," Cyborg added firmly.

"And we're in this together," Raven finished.

The changeling nodded, feeling a little lighter for the first time in hours. Things still looked bad and he knew that they were in for a rough time but he didn't feel quite so hopeless now. The Titans had done the impossible and saved the world before so Beast Boy believed that, maybe, they could do it again. The Brotherhood of Evil was not going to be easy to defeat but maybe together, they could do it. And maybe he would be okay, too.

With his friends—his _family_ beside him, it was hard to imagine he would be anything else.


	38. Teammates

**A/N**: Has anyone else noticed that the Beast Boy we see in the "Titans Together" episode is much, much different than the one in earlier seasons? I love the little guy but he was absolutely amazing in this episode. I do expound on the scene some but that's just to emphasis how much change I think there is in Beast Boy's character. Man, now that I think about it, I wish even more that Teen Titans had continued—Beast Boy grew so much in Season 5 that they really could have done a lot with him if the series had kept going.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the Teen Titans—although I really wish I did.

026. Teammates

"Never thought I'd have to use this place," Beast Boy muttered to himself, flipping on the lights and looking around the room in mild distaste. Leaves, branches, and other undergrowth had crept up on the Teen Titans' secret hideout, and although the place looked functional, the changeling made a mental note to remind Robin that they really needed to run maintenance checks on their homes-away-from-home.

_If I ever get to talk to Robin again, that is, _the green teen thought miserably, remembering that his leader was in the hands of the Brotherhood of Evil. His misery quickly turned to panic, however, when he realized that no one else was there. _This isn't right. This _really_ isn't right. Everyone should have been here by now._

He hadn't had any contact with the rest of the Teen Titans for two months, and even then, they had all been separated. But the last transmission that had been sent out was an order from Robin to report to Gabriel's Horn, one of the Titan's many hideouts across the globe, so that they could regroup and come up with a plan for a final assault against the Brain and his minions. It had taken the changeling weeks to arrive, and most of his travel had had to be done at night, when it was more difficult to tell a green animal from a normal one. Despite the many rumors of captures and disappearances, Beast Boy had clung to the hope that when he finally got there, he would find the rest of his team and all the other honorary Titans.

Now, looking around the decrepit room, the changeling felt like he was going to be sick. It was obvious enough that no one had lived in Gabriel's Horn in years. Sitting heavily on the dusty couch, Beast Boy put his head in his hands and realized just how foolishly optimistic he had been. Every villain he had ever known and quite a few he'd never met had joined the Brotherhood, and they had all conducted such a thorough, vicious manhunt for all Titans and Titan allies, it was unlikely that many had escaped. Beast Boy feared those that those that had would not take the chance of answering Robin's call.

_Oh man. What am I going to do?_ Trying to divert his attention away from the heavy dread that had settled in his stomach, he glanced around again and noticed how familiar the room was; in fact, with a little more furniture and a lot more cleaning, it would have been an exact replica of the Tower's common room. Instead of calming him, though, Beast Boy was forced to push away the sharp stabs of loneliness and homesickness.

"Y'know, for a top secret emergency outpost, it's actually kind of homey…" he commented sadly to the empty room, thinking that he would trade absolutely anything to hear Robin tell him to focus on the task at hand. Or to have Starfire agree with him and give him an encouraging smile. Or for Cyborg to come and say that no home could ever be complete without a gamestation. Or to even see Raven just roll her eyes at him.

A second later, the overhead lights blinked out, prompting Beast Boy to give a frustrated groan but he was a little thankful for the distraction. Changing a light would force him to get up and do something instead of sitting there, blinking back tears and worrying about what he should do next. He fumbled around in the dark until he found a spare light and ladder. When he finally managed to screw the new bulb in, he heard someone behind him. With a startled yelp, the changeling tumbled off the ladder to the floor and scrambled to his feet with the expectation that he was going to have to defend himself. It was a full ten seconds before he realized that he knew the tiny figure watching him.

"Oh, Mas! I, uh…" Beast Boy squeaked, trying to not to act like he had been seconds away from a heart attack. He looked around, expecting to see another red-and-white clad speedster, but no one else appeared to be there. "Where's your brother?"

Mas tearfully spouted off a rapid, panicked stream of Spanish, and Beast Boy was suddenly thankful that Negative Man had insisted that he study other languages. Still, the tiny Titan was speaking too quickly for the changeling to fully understand, and it wasn't until he calmed Mas down that he learned that Menos had been captured. Feeling even gloomier than before, he did not how to answer when Mas asked if they were the only two left.

"No, my friend," a deep voice replied, and as Beast Boy whirled around, he was glad he managed to swallow his shriek. An exhausted Pantha was limping into the room. She had escaped from Adonis and Atlas and despite her confident declaration of victory, the undercurrent of wounded pride in her voice told the green Titan that the _luchadore_ knew exactly how lucky she was to have gotten away.

Seconds later, the sound of a trumpet announced a portal opening into the room, and the changeling's growing hope turned into a near delirious happiness when Herald jumped into the room and announced that he had brought someone with him. That elation died almost immediately, and Beast Boy couldn't stop his groan of disappointment when Jericho stepped through. He meant no offense to the blonde musician but at the moment, what they desperately needed was muscle and fire-power.

_We need Wildebeest or that Red Star guy. Hell, right now, I'd even be glad to see Thunder and Lightning_, the green Titan thought with a grimace.

Much to the changeling's dismay, everyone seemed to agree.

"I'd hoped to find the Teen Titans, not…_this_," Pantha stated in obvious frustration and a little disgust. She either ignored or did not notice Beast Boy's sputter of indignation. Mas sadly hung his head and began to follow Pantha toward the exit while Herald re-opened his portal to journey back to his own dimension. Jericho hesitated but he finally moved to go with Herald.

Beast Boy watched them for a moment, unable to believe what they were saying. They were giving up. No—by the defeated expressions on their faces, he realized that they'd given up long before they had even arrived. Now they were doing worse—they were leaving.

_But, dudes…we're probably the only hope the world has left. _The thought made the changeling feel sick with fear, especially since he was nearly certain it was true. Most of Titans East was out of commission or scattered, their other allies were either captured or in hiding, the Doom Patrol was too far away to help, and God only knew where his own teammates were. He was certain that Robin had been captured but as for the others…Beast Boy didn't know. And he didn't want to think about it. There were too many possibilities, too many horrible things that could have happened to them.

He gave himself a brief shake, knowing he couldn't afford to think about any of that. Right now, it was his responsibility to get Pantha, Mas, Herald, and Jericho to stay. The world was in desperate need of heroes, and so he would not just let those four throw in the towel without giving it everything they had. He didn't care how hopeless everything seemed or that they already felt defeated—when they had accepted the Titan communicators, they had made a promise to defend innocent people from those who would harm them, and Beast Boy was not about to allow them to walk away from that.

"STOP!" Beast Boy shouted. Pantha, Herald, Mas and Jericho paused, and if the green teen hadn't been so furious, he would have been surprised that the four actually did what he asked. Instead he glared at each of them in turn. "Nobody's going anywhere! We have to stick together. I need all of you with me if we're going to stop the Brain."

For some reason, actually saying those words out loud—that the Brotherhood of Evil _had_ to be stopped, and they were the only ones who could do it—caused a cold wave of terror to run down the green Titan's spine. He managed to keep his trepidation from reaching his face but Mas, Pantha, Herald, and Jericho all seemed stunned by his outburst as well. Not only stunned either—they seemed more than a little skeptical, as if they doubted Beast Boy had much to offer to back up his brave words.

A year ago, those expressions would have caused him to back down or defer to someone else. A year ago, he might have given into the ominous feelings that were currently causing his skin to crawl. A year ago, he'd had a lot of growing up to do.

But he'd done it, and now Beast Boy found he could return their stares without feeling any less sure of himself. The fear and dread still weighed heavily upon him but he already knew those emotions weren't going to hold him back. All at once, his previous indignation flared up again and this time, it was coupled with a fierce sense of determination. _I'm a Titan. I may not be the best but it's still my job to stop jerks like the Brotherhood, and it's they're job, too, so—so that's what we're going to do._

"And we _are_ going to stop him," Beast Boy continued firmly. He began to pace, trying to keep calm and think up a plan. "Okay, so…he has us on the run. That means the Brain will never expect _us_ to take the fight to _him_…"

Pantha crossed her arms over her chest. "Why should you be in charge?" she demanded.

It was a conscious effort not to snap at the _luchadore_ but, recognizing that she was probably just using bravado to cover the fact that she was just as terrified as everyone else, the changeling managed to reply in the calm, reasonable tone he'd heard Robin use so many times before. "I've been fighting these guys longer than any of you. I know what we're up against." Which was a lot but he figured mentioning that would only make things worse.

Still, the thinly veiled fear on his companions' faces made Beast Boy realize they needed some sort of encouragement. He couldn't think of any words of wisdom—there was nothing wise about five teenage superheroes taking on an army of villains bent on world domination anyway—so, instead, he simply decided to tell them the truth.

"Look," Beast Boy began slowly, hoping that inspirational and corny could be synonymous. "This may not be a perfect team, but it's all we've got. _We're_ the Teen Titans now. If we work together, we can accomplish anything."

To the changeling's complete amazement, the skepticism and defeat on their faces slowly faded away. They were actually listening to him now, which relieved the green young man to no end. If he could get them to at least hear him out then maybe—

Beast Boy paused, both in his thoughts and his speech, as he suddenly noticed something new in their expressions. The way they looked wasn't shocking in and of itself—he'd seen his teammates look at Robin that way and knew he had, too—but such a look had never, ever been directed at him before. He didn't know what he'd said to affect them but whatever it was, it caused them to look at him differently. Expectantly. Hopefully.

_Maybe we can do this after all, _the changeling thought. And from the way his four companions looked—Pantha was deviously cracking her knuckles, Herald wore a grim smile, Jericho nodded encouragingly, and Mas just beamed—they seemed to think so, too.

Wherever his friends and the other honorary Titans were, whatever had happened to them, the changeling decided he wouldn't let any of it be in vain. Somehow, some way, this team—_his_ team—was going to defeat the Brotherhood.

With that, Beast Boy let out a slow breath and tried to give his new teammates a brave smile. "So…what exactly can you guys do?"


	39. Life

**A/N:** Okay, this took a bit longer than expected. No computer problems or writer's block, this time it was completely my fault—or rather my knees' fault. I tore my ACL in my right knee last Sunday, and for those of you who play sports, you know what that means. For those that don't, we'll go with it sucks and movement for the next few months is going to be painstakingly slow. On the bright side—the only bright side I can see, at the moment—this will leave me with more time to write. So more updates soon, okay? And has anyone heard of 20Truths? I know it's popular in the anime sectors of FFN but I've never seen one around this fandom. In the next few days, I'm planning to put out a 20Truths fic about all the Titans in the next few days so be on the look out for it.

As usual, I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed these oneshots. I wish there was a better way to show appreciation other than saying "thank you" but that's hard to do over the Internet. Otherwise, I'd totally bake you guys cookies or something.

Oh, and this oneshot takes place after Aftershock, Part II. Please no bashing Terra. She's not my favorite character either but I see too much of her in myself to hate her.

**Disclaimer**: I still do not owe the Teen Titans. I do, however, have a bunch of medical bills. Anyone want those?

087. Life

Beast Boy had fought crime since he was eight years old, and it hadn't taken him long to figure out that being a superhero was a lot of things. It was adventurous, strenuous, compromising, action-packed, and generally awesome.

It just wasn't fair.

The life of a superhero is one of constant motion. Hardly a week went by that the Titans were not out saving the city from certain doom. That was why this entire situation was so difficult for him to understand. His life was never still for a moment so moving on with it should have been so easy. It was _supposed_ to be easy.

But it wasn't. And Beast Boy did not know how to deal with that.

In the weeks after Terra's betrayal, every moment that Beast Boy wasn't fighting crime, eating, or sleeping, he was in the air. Every morning he would go up to the roof, change into some variety of bird, and fly. He couldn't stand to be in the Tower. He itched with the need to go, to run away, to just leave for somewhere else—_anywhere_ else—that wasn't here. He needed that space until he could put himself back together again. He didn't want to think. He didn't want to feel. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to hear his friends say that everything would be okay, not when it was too hard to believe anything was going to be okay right now.

He just wanted to fly. And forget.

Beast Boy wanted to go somewhere where the memories of a girl with bright blue eyes and a winning smile wouldn't be able to find him, and that place could only be found high above the rest of the world. The changeling couldn't handle being in the Tower or in the city or any other site where he and Terra had been together so he took every chance he had to escape, even if it was only for a few hours.

Because, unfortunately, the life of a superhero only allots a few hours for grief and personal crisis.

For a while, before Robin threatened to sue them for libel, the tabloids had been saying that grief had caused him to lose his mind. Beast Boy snorted, thinking of all the jokes his friends should have been able to make about that—he had expected at least one comment from Raven—but no one had said anything. Maybe they were afraid the tabloids were right and he was losing it.

But Beast Boy knew better. He was hurting, sure, but he wasn't crazy. He knew what had happened—Terra had betrayed them and then returned to their side at the last minute to save them and Jump City. He accepted what had happened—Terra had sacrificed herself in order to ensure that Slade didn't escape, and she was now a statue.

He just couldn't seem to let go and move on from it.

Everyday, he woke up feeling worn out and numb, like he was about to go to a funeral. There hadn't been one, of course—her body had turned to stone so how could there be?—but he couldn't shake off the feeling that he wasn't really living his life anymore. He was simply going through the motions.

_Maybe that's because you are_, a little voice in his head told him as he touched down on the roof. Beast Boy ignored it. He'd been out flying all day, the sun was setting, and he was too tired to think anyway.

Walking into the kitchen, he noticed his friends were sitting around the table and from the awkward silence suffocating the room, the changeling figured they had just finished talking about him. Part of him wanted to confront them—what did they have to say about him that they couldn't say when he was standing in the room?—but he decided to let it go. They looked guilty enough, anyway, and if he was weighing on their minds that heavily, he didn't want to make it worse.

"Hey, guys," he said, opening the fridge and expecting to make himself a sandwich but found there was a plate of tofu waiting for him. He raised it, nodding to the other Titans and attempting a smile. It didn't come out quite right. "Thanks."

"No problem, man," Cyborg replied. The half-metal man was staring uneasily at his large hands but quickly stood up when he noticed the changeling was leaving the kitchen. "Hey, Beast Boy…"

The green Titan paused in the doorway and turned. Cyborg seemed to be searching for the right words, and Beast Boy sighed. "Yeah, dude?"

Starfire stepped in. "We care about you very much, friend, and we are here."

"Yeah, BB. If you need us, we're here," Robin added, and Raven gave a slight nod of agreement.

Beast Boy gave another nod and feeble smile. "Sure, guys. I know," he replied before heading to his room. He put his plate on the only cleared off spot on his desk and hoped he'd remember to eat it later. Then he flopped back on his lower bunk and stared at the wood work above him, feeling lower than he had all week.

The changeling knew the others were worried about him. He knew he'd never—_never_—been this quiet before, and he knew it was scaring them. The Titans knew what was wrong, knew he was missing Terra with but no one was sure what to do for him if he wouldn't say anything.

Sometimes, Beast Boy thought he should talk to them. They obviously wanted to help. They wanted to be there for him, and he'd seen enough TV specials to know that when a person felt the way he did—hopeless, angry, confused, and heartbroken—they needed to talk to their friends.

And then he remembered the way they'd talked about Terra that night. In their minds, Terra would probably always be the girl who was good at heart but who couldn't control her powers and wouldn't admit to it. She was scared and had allowed herself to be manipulated because of that fear. She had lied to them. She had nearly killed them. To the Titans, Terra would be a traitor.

To Beast Boy, she was all of those things, too—and more. The others hadn't been as close to Terra as he was. She was the girl who always laughed at his jokes and taught him how to skip stones. She was the one who enjoyed talking to him and thought he was smart because she actually listened to him long enough to realize he was. She understood what it was like to feel alone in the world and what it was like to feel like an outsider wherever you went. Terra was the first person Beast Boy had opened himself up to without reservations or worries that someone wouldn't like him.

Of course, he couldn't say that to Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, and Raven. Right now, he couldn't say anything to them. He wasn't ready to say anything to anyone, and what did they want him to hear from him, anyway? Yes, he was hurting. Yes, he had cried. No, he had not loved her—but he _could_ have if they'd known each other longer, if there had been more time for them, and losing someone you could have loved hurt almost as badly as actually loving the person (especially when you harbored a secret fear that the one you lost might have been the only person who could ever love you back, but Beast Boy never allowed himself to pursue that train of thought to its finish). His friends couldn't help him right now but there was no way they would believe that so he just stayed quiet. This was something he had to deal with on his own, even if his way of coping was simply _not_ dealing with it.

With a groan, the changeling heaved himself up and trudge out of his room. He went back up to the roof and prepared to take flight again. It looked like he had a few more demons to out fly tonight.

Hours later, when he returned, he found Raven on the roof. It was late, so late that even Robin was probably in bed, so Beast Boy knew she must have waited up for him. The thought made him feel more than a little guilty. He hated that he was worrying his friends, but he was obviously really, _really_ worrying them if _Raven_ was willing to stay up until she knew he was safely home.

"I'm sorry." She spoke suddenly, and Beast Boy almost started. She had walked him to his room, and they had both been silent until then. "I know that's not easy to believe coming from me but—"

"I believe you," he interrupted shortly and a little more angrily than he really felt. He noticed that she had looked away from him and took a deep breath, willing himself to speak calmer. "Sorry. I'm sorry, Rae. This is just…I…" Beast Boy trailed off, swallowing against the hard lump in his throat.

"You're running from it," Raven said after giving him a few seconds to meet her eyes again. "Stop."

"I can't." The changeling shook his head. "It wasn't…it wasn't right, you know? Wasn't fair."

"Life isn't fair, Beast Boy, and many times it isn't right, either," she reminded him but her voice was far gentler than he would have expected it.

"Especially not ours, huh?" he replied. He tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice and was proud that he managed it. He wasn't so happy that he couldn't hide the sadness, though.

"You're going to have to feel it someday."

_But not today, _Beast Boy thought but he didn't say it. She would only worry more, and the tension in her shoulders made Beast Boy feel like he'd already caused her enough stress. So, instead of speaking, he simply shrugged and went to bed. He would not sleep, of course, and knew Raven would know that he had not—but he hoped that the fact that he was at least in his bed would give her some peace of mind.

The changeling settled under his covers. Eventually he knew he'd talk to them about everything. Starfire would probably cry, and as embarrassing as the thought of crying in front of everyone was now, he doubted it would be so bad then. Cyborg would think of hopeful, practical things to tell him, and because it was his best friend, Beast Boy knew he would believe the words. Robin would listen to what he had to say and would promise to do everything he could to help, and the Boy Wonder never made promises he couldn't keep.

Raven probably wouldn't say or do anything. Terra was a touchy subject between the dark girl and the changeling, and she had already broached the subject as far as she dared. But she would still sit there with him and give him her complete though silent support. She would be there for him, and Beast Boy knew he couldn't ask for anything else.

The sun would rise tomorrow, and some part of him knew he would be okay. The life of a superhero is one of constant motion, after all. Eventually, he would start moving with it again.

It was just going to take a little while longer.


	40. He

**A/N:** I've actually been to this website, and I made the same discoveries Beast Boy does. Here's the site if anyone wants to take a look: www. 20q .net, and the spaces are there only because FFN doesn't like links. The Harry Potter section is pretty accurate but everything else is a little screwy.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Teen Titans, and the only reason I keep writing these is because I know that, somewhere out there, some evil-minded lawyer is bored and looking for something to sue someone over.

084. He

"Is this really _that_ entertaining?" Aqualad demanded, trying to keep a whine out of his voice. His team was meeting with Titans West in order to develop more interpersonal security network relationships.

In other words, they were all hanging out.

Robin and Speedy were in the training room, trying to prove who _really_ was the best of the best and hopefully not killing one another. Starfire was giving Mas y Menos the grand tour of Jump City while Cyborg and Bumblebee were taking a ride in the T-Car. Raven had retreated to her room with the promise that she would later join the group for dinner and a movie. Seeing that everyone else had left, Beast Boy suggested that the two of them go for a swim and explore a system of underwater caves nearby. Aqualad had agreed readily but before they could leave, the changeling said he wanted to quickly check his email. There, he found a junk mail link to a twenty questions website that promised to read his mind. They'd both laughed at the notion and while the Atlantian had gone to get a drink of water, Beast Boy had decided to play a quick game.

That had led to another game. And then another one. And another. And almost two hours later, Beast Boy was about to start _another_ game.

Aqualad was about to lose his mind.

"Kind of," the green teen answered. He was staring at the screen as if completely mesmerized. "It's just so…I don't know, dude…I just want it to win for once."

The Atlantian began to wonder if there was some sort of mind control device hidden on the site. He hadn't seen the changeling blink in a few minutes. "Wait. You mean, in all this time, the computer hasn't won at all?"

"Nope," Beast Boy answered. He managed to look away from the computer long enough to give a smug grin. "Guess my brain's too much for it, huh?"

_Oh, Raven. The opportunities you are missing_, Aqualad thought dryly but refrained from commenting himself. Instead he impatiently drummed his fingers on the common room's table. "So, if it's not delivering on the whole read-your-mind thing, why are you _still_ doing this when we could be checking out those caves?"

"We'll see the caves, I promise! But this game is pretty funny. Like—on the spontaneous knowledge about Raven, it said it was doubtful she ever appeared on a western," Beast Boy replied. He looked at the next questions and answered that no, he was not Rosanne Barr. Or Flava Flav. Or a venus flytrap.

Aqualad raised his eyebrows. A slow smile spread across his face. "Raven?"

"Yeah, she was the first person I did," he answered. Then he noticed the amusement on his friend's face, flushed, and quickly added, "Just to see if it would get her right, though."

"Of course." The Atlantian nodded in exaggerated understanding, wondering just how hard his green friend was trying to ignore the fact that the tips of his pointy ears were now an odd shade of purple. "And did it?"

"It did—after, like, five extra questions." Beast Boy cleared his throat. "So…uh, tell you what—just let me finish this game and we'll go."

Aqualad chuckled and settled back against the couch, prepared to let Beast Boy finish his game. Fifteen minutes later, his renewed patience had worn thin again, and he was back to glaring at the back of Beast Boy's head. "Can we go now?"

The changeling shook his head. "Sorry, dude, but it still hasn't given me the right answer for this round!"

The long-haired teen huffed and marched over to stand behind the other Titan. He watched his friend go through a few more questions and felt his frustration melt into curiosity. "So who are you, anyway?"

"Me."

Aqualad stared. "…you're trying to get the twenty question machine to guess that you are thinking of you?"

"Yeah, but like I said before, it's seriously not as smart as the designers make it out to be. I mean, I'm on question forty-four, and it _still_ hasn't figured me out," Beast Boy commented in disgust.

The Atlantian considered asking the green Titan if he had googled himself as well but decided against it. Some questions were better left unanswered, especially in reference to the changeling's narcissism. Shaking his head, Aqualad found he was becoming genuinely interested in the rather mind-numbing game. Like most superheroes, all the Titans were well-known public figures so it was odd that the website wouldn't quickly pick anyone of them up. Surely, after so many questions, it should have guessed who Beast Boy was.

Six inquiries later, the 20Q bot finally came up with the correct answer, and the green teen gave a cry of victory. "Finally! Man, what was taking it so…"

His voice trailed off as his eyes grew wide. Both teens leaned forward to read the noted discrepancy. _Are you male? You said Yes, but 20Q was taught by other players that the answer is Doubtful._

There was complete silence.

For about two seconds.

"WHAT?!"

* * *

It was late afternoon before Raven came out of her room. She'd finished meditating hours earlier and had planned to simply read a chapter of her latest book but a plot twist had taken the story in an entirely new direction. Before the Azarathian realized it, she had missed lunch and nearly dinner as well.

Entering the common room, she saw both Cyborg and Bumblebee staring at the computer, which was smoldering, and at Aqualad, who was nearly hysterical with laughter. On instinct, Raven quickly looked around the room, searching for the Titans' resident changeling. In situations like these, Beast Boy was almost always directly or indirectly involved. When she realized he was not in the room, and her empathic sense told her he was not even in the Tower, Raven decided it was safe enough to walk closer to the pair.

"What happened?" The dark girl inquired calmly. She was almost certain she would regret asking such a thing but it would have been rude—probably wise but rude all the same—to ignore the situation entirely.

Bumblebee's hands were on her hips. "We aren't sure. We'd just gotten back, and we heard Beast Boy shouting. Then there was an explosion, but by the time we got here, Aqualad was already like this. Maybe when he decides to take a breath, he'll tell us what happened." Her tone suggested that the Atlantian make that decision soon but the boy was obviously too far gone to pay much attention to his leader's veiled threat.

"BB wasn't very helpful with the details either," Cyborg said, rubbing his chin. He was almost used to situations like this but he still had to admit it was odd. "He left really quickly, and he was shouting something about proving his manhood—"

Raven held up a hand. "Just as I suspected—Beast Boy's involved, and I don't want to know."


	41. Circle

**A/N**: Finally, right? Apologies for the wait—I've got about five oneshots that are so close to being done it's not even funny but I just can't work the endings out the way I want—but how about a tiny bit of fluff-ish stuff? We haven't had any of that in…wow, a few chapters, which is actually longer than I thought. How about that?

This takes place during Sisters, and does anyone mind if we pretend that Nevermore took place before that episode? Thanks.

And who else thinks Beast Boy and Raven should play the bickering couple in those Sonic commercials?

**Disclaimer**: I don't write these for my health. I own nothing.

044. Circle

Flashing lights. Screaming. Bombastic emotions. Sugary candy and soda.

Raven sighed to herself. _I _knew_ this was a bad idea._

Jump City was holding its annual carnival on the pier, and Robin had decided it would be a good place to do some team bonding. The others had happily agreed but Raven had tried to beg off. After all, as she reminded them, she was an empath, and there was absolutely nothing enjoyable about being an empath in a large crowd of people. Being an empath in large crowds of mainly children, all of whom were high on adrenaline and sugar, was even worse.

And yet—due to Beast Boy's frustrating inability to understand reason, logic, multiple death threats, and the word 'no'—here she was, hanging out at the carnival with the rest of her team. Well, they _had_ been hanging out but after dinner and a little pursuing, she was relieved to see that they seemed to be quickly approaching the part of the night when everyone split off to find separate amusements. Since Cyborg was raiding a hotdog stand and flirting outrageously with the girl who ran it, Starfire was excitedly trying to decide which ride to go on while Robin was excitedly waiting to offer to take her, and Beast Boy was torn between the rides and the games, Raven hoped this would provide her the opportunity to sneak off to somewhere less crowded. She'd managed to block out most of the emotions that were running rampant around the pier but she was still acutely aware of what her friends were feeling, and that was causing the beginning of a migraine to pound in her temples. She wanted space _now_.

"Oooh, I believe that ride is known as the Wheel of Ferris!" Starfire exclaimed, eagerly pointing to a large, metallic ride at the end of the dock. "Robin, would you join me upon it?"

"Sure, Star," he answered. Outwardly, the Boy Wonder seemed pleased to help a friend but the Azarathian caught the wave of giddiness that was comparable to a squeal. It was a little nauseating. "You guys'll be okay on your own, right?"

"Yeah, man, you kids go have fun," Cyborg said, winking at the hotdog girl, who giggled. "But meet us after the firework show, alright? Because we're all gonna hit the roller coaster!"

While Robin and Beast Boy made their obligatory male grunts of agreement and Starfire nodded happily, Raven was less enthused. "Super."

"Aw, c'mon, Rae!" Beast Boy threw a companionable arm around her shoulders and completely ignored her glare. "You know roller coasters are awesome!"

"Actually, I don't. This is my first time at a carnival," she replied, shrugging his arm off. Her tone indicated that it would probably be her last as well but she expected her comment to go relatively unnoticed in the roller coaster enthusiasm.

However, when Beast Boy froze and looked at her with the most horrified expression she had ever seen on his face, Raven knew that expectation was out the window.

"You _what_? Are you kidding me?" Beast Boy appeared aghast. "So…you haven't been on any kind of ride? Ever?"

"Yes, Beast Boy, that might have been what I meant when I said I'd never been to a carnival before," Raven commented dryly. Robin glanced at the pallid changeling and then smirked in a way that made her feel a little uneasy before leading Starfire off, no doubt so that he could acquaint her with the Ferris wheel. Cyborg was still chatting up the hotdog stand girl, which left her with Beast Boy, who still seemed to be trying to wrap his mind around the concept that she had never been to an amusement park.

"You really are serious?" Beast Boy stared at her as if this was some sort of appalling tragedy. Then, before she quite knew what was happening, he'd seized her wrist and began dragging after him. "Dude, come on!"

Raven was halfway to the carousel before she realized that was where they were heading. Glowering at the green boy in front of her and reminding herself that casting her teammate off the pier would cause a scene, she tried to wretch her hand back. "Let go. I am not wasting my money on that—"

"Of course you aren't!" he interrupted jovially. He handed a few dollar bills to the man at the ticket booth before grinning back at her. "This is totally my treat!"

"What?" The green Titan had not blown this month's pension on video games and large quantities of tofu just so he could enjoy the carnival to its fullest, most expensive extent—and he was willing to pay for a ride just for her? If she hadn't been against riding on the most juvenile ride on the pier in the first place, Beast Boy's actions would have been almost…sweet, she supposed. "Beast Boy, this isn't necessary—"

"It's cool," the changeling waved her off, leading her to the short waiting line. He hardly seemed to care that their fellow riders all seemed to be under the age of six. "This is your first ride ever so paying for it is like…an honor or something."

Raven decided to make one final appeal to his hyperactivity. "But it just goes around in circles? Isn't that a little boring?"

"Well, yeah—but it's the experience that matters. Just saying that you've done it, you know?" he replied as they climbed the steps up to the carousel's polished wooden platform. When she still appeared skeptical, he resorted to his most damning feature: puppy dog eyes. Those had never gotten the best results with his dark teammate but they both knew her resolve would at least be weakened by them. "Come on, Rae, please?"

"Fine." Raven finally decided to accept that she wasn't going to get out of this. She stared at the wooden animals with more than a little distaste. Sure, the work was probably handcrafted and she likely would have complimented the carpenter if he'd been around but—a maroon ostrich with a bright pink bow? That was just too ridiculous, even for the small children that seemed to favor this ride. "Which one?"

Beast Boy shook his head. "No way, this is all you, Raven. You get to choose."

"Lucky me," Raven sighed as she looked around. Oddly enough, she felt the sudden desire to pick some animal that gave off a bit of personal reflection. A chestnut-colored horse with a braided mane a few rows back caught her eye. It was decorated with shimmering silver armor and there were bright purple and green gems embedded within it but its obvious feminine grace made Raven believe it was a mare. There was a serious glint in the creature's painted eyes but it was one that made the horse seem incredibly wise. If she had been able to do this when she was younger, she could imagine her mother choosing such an animal for her. Arella had been fond of horses, after all, and had told Raven they were the most intelligent of creatures—

The idle thought of her mother was a shock, and Raven was almost immediately thrust back into reality. She spotted a simple chariot and abruptly sat in it, all the while giving herself a sharp mental reprimand. The only reason she was even doing this was due to Beast Boy's misguided kindness. She was not supposed to actually _enjoy_ such infantile amusements.

_This is absurd,_ Raven told herself with something she was loath to call bitterness. _You are not supposed to be enthralled with picking some wooden animal to ride on. You are not supposed to think of the few times Arella actually tried to be a mother. You are not a child. You are…you._

_And you are not normal._

She expected Beast Boy to frown at her before criticizing her lack of creativity and trying to coax her into choosing a different, more imaginative animal. She was already thinking up retorts to fire back at him when he surprised her by just taking the seat next to her—the chariot was more than big enough for one person, and Raven nearly cringed as she belatedly wondered if it was meant for couples—and complemented her choice. A cheerful tune comprised of an organ and a few whistles began and after a quick lurch, the carousel slowly started to turn.

"It's okay to have fun every once in a while, you know," Beast Boy said after a moment.

Raven looked over at him and wasn't surprised to see the sincerity and slight concern in his gaze. He was always overly-concerned with her, and although she couldn't fathom his reasons, sometimes—very, very rarely and when the changeling else wasn't paying attention so he couldn't notice—she was grateful for it. It was nice to know someone cared, even if that person could be exceptionally frustrating.

But Beast Boy had been in her head and even though he probably didn't understand the significance of everything that had happened that day, the changeling could honestly say he had seen the best and worst of her. After that eventful trip, Raven had expected him to back off since he now knew why she was forced to be emotionally distant. Any rational person would have done so.

_Of course, any rational person would also be terrified of me_, she thought as she studied the grinning boy. _Since he's not, I suppose the fact that he's doubled his efforts to make me laugh is actually a normal reaction—for Beast Boy._

"You know it's a little more difficult than that, Beast Boy," Raven replied, careful to keep her voice completely neutral. Even the little bit she was doing right now—simply riding in a fake chariot with her friend—was pushing against the strict limits she had been brought up with. She had long ago learned that her life, while not devoid of pleasure, was to be lived within severe emotional restrictions and she accepted that.

Her green teammate did not. "The world's not gonna end if you smile a little, Rae."

_Won't it? _Raven wondered but said nothing aloud.

"And we're still kids, you know?" Beast Boy continued earnestly. "No one ever thinks about that because we're heroes, too, but it's true. I mean, Cy's the oldest of us and he's what? Sixteen? We have responsibilities to the city and everything but we're allowed to kick back every once in a while and pretend that we're just like every other teenager on the planet."

"I was never a normal child, Beast Boy."

"Neither was I," he replied, pulling at the green skin of his cheek.

"But you didn't grow up like I did. I…wasn't given many choices for my future. I was told to be someone and that if I did not perform my task well enough, many lives would be put in jeopardy. If I ever lost my concentration, people would be in danger." Raven realized just how much she had told him only after she finished speaking. However, before she could berate herself for the slip, her companion caught her attention. Something strange filtered through Beast Boy's emotions but before she could decipher it, he'd shoved it away.

"Dude, you know they were wrong to put so much on you, right?" he told her more than asked her. "Because they were."

"I was a liability—"

"You were a kid, and you aren't with those idiots anymore anyway. You don't have to play by their rules now, Rae," Beast Boy said firmly, and Raven told herself that it was only the amusing thought of Beast Boy calling the wise monks of Azarath 'idiots' that kept her from contradicting him. "I—well, we all want you to be happy."

It was hard to keep from smiling at that. "Honestly, Beast Boy? I am."

"Good." His smile was back in place but he was hesitating about something. That nameless feeling that had appeared when she spoke of her childhood was back but this time, it lingered long enough for Raven to realize that it was too complicated to pin down to one emotion. It was something like understanding or familiarity tinged with bitterness and a little sadness. "Hey, Raven?"

"Yes?"

"Um…" But he was already pushing the feeling away again, choosing to go with an easier route rather than say what he was actually thinking. "Nothing. Just glad to know you're happy."

Raven thought she should have been mad at him—after all, she had just spent the last few minutes telling him more about herself than she'd ever told anyone—but she was not surprised to discover that she felt no irritation at all. If he wasn't ready to talk about himself yet, that was fine. It took knowing Beast Boy—_really_ knowing him—to realize that you hardly knew the changeling at all. At the same time, however, some part of Raven felt certain he would eventually explain this small mystery as well as his many others.

That part of her already knew that she would eventually let him close, too.

The last two minutes of the ride was spent in silence, and when the carousel came to a stop, Beast Boy hopped out first and, with a flourished bow, extended his hand to help her out. She raised an eyebrow at him but accepted his hand anyway.

"Now, then, that wasn't too bad, was it?" the changeling asked once they were back on the pier.

"It…wasn't completely unbearable," Raven admitted. She stared at the chariot for a moment longer, trying to memorize as many details of it as she could. She was fifteen, and among the many other things that had taken place tonight, this was her first amusement park ride. It seemed incredibly childish but she wanted to remember it—and the conversation with her teammate.

Beast Boy seemed to understand, and they watched the carousel spin for a bit longer before he took her wrist and led her away. "C'mon, let's go find Cy. We've got some time before the fireworks start and he owes me five bucks, so how 'bout I win you a prize? They had these awesome giant chickens over there..."

"Joy." Raven rolled her eyes but even she couldn't stop the small smile from coming to her face. Let Robin and Starfire have the Ferris wheel. She liked the carousel better, anyway.

And maybe next time, she'd try that mare.


	42. Instinct Part I

**A/N**: I believe this is the longest oneshot I've ever written. And the most disjointed and I'm not sure if I like how Jinx came out. She's an awesome character but with so few episodes, she's also a tough one to write. I was kind of working with a deadline and it probably shows but I'm glad I managed to get it up before the 27th. Why then? That's the date that Bhill62 (Bhill68 to those from the RBSU forum) might be shipping out. He and I have spent the last few months talking about the layout for this oneshot and I know he's been waiting to see what I'd do with the idea or at least, the first part of the idea. There are still too many kinks to be worked out for Part II (yes, Part II—the ideas for this prompt were too good for me to just choose one or the other. They're going to be connected but unrelated…which makes perfect sense in my head, at least…) to be posted. I'm sorry, Bhill—I know you were probably looking forward to that one more but I hope you like this. I can't thank you enough for always being there to lend support and bounce ideas, both good and really bad, off of. I'm going to miss you and so will a lot of other people so drop us a line whenever you get the chance. Take care.

On another note, I'm sure many of you have read Bhill62's "Brotherhood of the Joker" here on FFN. I'm taking it over for him so if any of you have any information on Batman, the Joker, or Harley Quinn, PM me because I have little to no experience with those characters. Bhill gave me his notes but every little bit will help.

On another another note, I know exploring Beast Boy's animal tendencies has been done a million times but you've got to admit, it's a damn interesting theme to work with. It takes energy to control emotions and the same goes for the control of instincts. As my psych book says, "application of control over part of oneself as a coping tool is more likely to stimulate it" and showing the potentially negative effects of doing that is what I was trying to go for here. For better examples of this, go read Coeus' "Never Again" and RabulaTasa's "Anesthetized" because those stories are great.

Finally—last thing, I promise—thank you to everyone who has reviewed. Teen Titans has been over for over a year now so it's great to see that people have yet to give up on this fandom. And who knows? Kim Possible came back. Maybe we'll get lucky.

**Disclaimer**: I still do not own Teen Titans. That's DC comics—and those bastards killed off Bart Allen, damn them.

097. Instinct (Part I)

When he hit the floor, Beast Boy thought he was dying.

It was too late to doing anything but the changeling thought that this had been some time in coming. Perhaps he had suppressed these instincts for too long and now his animal DNA was tearing him apart from the inside out. He wanted to howl, to fly, to swim, to dig, to growl and snarl and slash—all at once, and he didn't know how to handle the overwhelming desire to do each of those things. The animals in him were pushing to get out, and he didn't know how much longer he could keep control of them. Beast Boy exhaled shakily and tried in vain to relax his body. He needed to stop shaking. He needed to stop gritting his teeth and growling. He need to stop feeling like something was about to split out from him, like he was turning into the Beast only the form wouldn't come and he was stuck in agonizing mid-transformation as his body tried to decide what it wanted to do. He needed to stand up and stop curling into a fetal position because if someone saw him like this, they'd ask questions he didn't know the answers to.

He just needed to _stop_.

"Uh…Beast Boy?" someone asked.

Beast Boy looked up and despite how much effort he was putting into controlling himself, he was still able to feel extremely surprised. Of all the people in the world he expected to see him like this, Jinx wasn't one of them.

"What?" he gasped, not because he had not heard what she said. He was still trying to figure out what she was doing there.

"Is there was a reason you're on the ground or if I should go get someone helpful?" Jinx asked, kneeling down next to him. "Kid Flash decided he wanted some real Chinese food but it's taking him a while—bet he doesn't have correct change or forgot which city that restaurant is in—so I was just hanging out here. I've got my communicator. I can call your teammates."

The changeling shook his head fiercely but was distracted when he became vaguely aware of the fact that she smelled like gardenias and cotton candy. Then the claws digging into his brain and nerves bore down a little more, and he couldn't tell if the muscles in his shoulders were spasming or if he was just shaking that hard. Either way, it was extremely painful and he choked back a scream.

He should have known something was wrong with him. No—he _had_ known something was wrong. All the signs had been there but he had been dumb enough to think that he could control what was happening to him. He had long ago grown accustom to the extra abilities his animal instincts gave him. He was used to being able to detect the scent of Starfire's mustard or Robin's hair gel anywhere in the Tower just as he was used to hearing the faint sound of Cyborg dropping a toolbox while he played video games, despite the fact that there were four floors separating the common room from the garage.

But in the past few weeks, Beast Boy had started to feel…strangely. At first, it hadn't seemed like a big deal—he was suddenly a little more restless than usual and his appetite grew but that was all. He might have ignored the unprecedented but slight changes altogether had it not been for the new heights his five senses reached. Before the changeling could even register their progress, he noticed that on windless days he could suddenly pick up the smell of hotdog and peanut venders from the pier, and he was able to catch the scent of the dump from all the way across the city. Then his hearing developed to the point that he was able to stand on the roof and catch the final bells from the local high school. If he squinted a little, he could count the individual fibers of carpet in the living room—from the kitchen. His taste was affected, too, and sometimes the first bite of tofu was so sharp, it caused him to flinch.

These changes were a little frustrating—especially his ability to smell every single dirty diaper and rotting tomato in Jump City—and their abruptness bothered him but after a little thought, Beast Boy shrugged them off, believing the whole thing was simply part of his growth. He was fifteen now and taller and stronger than he had ever been. The green Titan figured his heightened sense were probably a result of getting older and if they got too annoying, he knew he could just push them down to a manageable level. Suppressing certain instincts was a trick he'd learned years earlier when it became obvious to him that he could not obey all of his animalistic urges—such as 'marking' his territory or stalking potential prey—and still live in a civilized society. Save the incident with his Beast, he had always been able to control what his body did or did not do. So, as he didn't necessarily feel badly or sick, Beast Boy decided that there was nothing to worry about.

Hardly a week later, however, the changeling began to think that maybe there _was_ something to worry about.

What started out as slight restlessness grew into perpetual nervous energy, like he was constantly strung out from drinking too many energy drinks. Whatever ability he had to focus began to wane and he quickly discovered it was almost impossible for him to relax. His skin sometimes felt like it was crawling and nothing he did could rid him of the excess energy sprinting through his body. He couldn't sleep well anymore and found himself spending the majority of his nights scanning his room for anything out of the ordinary. He couldn't understand why he was doing this but it suddenly felt absolutely necessary that he make sure that no one else was in _his_ room messing with _his_ things. Of course, these late-night vigils only made him more anxious and the lack of sleep certainly didn't help.

He did his best to hide his new agitation from his team. Sure, he was beginning to feel more than a little disturbed and worried but unless something really weird started happening, he didn't want to involve everyone else. And it had nothing to do with their reaction to the Beast incident, Beast Boy told himself.

_It's not like they'd be afraid of me or anything. I know them. I know they'd trust me_, the changeling thought firmly as he shifted impatiently in bed. His eyes darted around the room but the tension in his body didn't ease even when he could not detect anything out of the ordinary. _But...this isn't a big deal. I'm fine. If I wasn't, someone would have said something by now._

That was his best argument for keeping quiet. The other Titans had not seemed to notice anything strange about his behavior. Beast Boy thought they might have noted a few differences in him but there was no cause to freak out. Robin saw his increase in energy as a sign that the changeling was just taking greater interest in training and commented that his heightened senses would probably be very helpful to the team in the future. Cyborg thought that the dark circles under his eyes were from staying up far too late playing video games, and Starfire must have agreed because she began urging him to take naps.

Raven was the only one he wasn't sure he'd fooled. As he became more and more fidgety and anxious, the dark Titan became more and more interested in talking to him. She had even offered to teach him meditation. He had declined, mostly because the scent of her Nag Champa incense and whatever shampoo she used made him feel giddy and intoxicated whenever he stood too close to her. Still, he could sometimes feel her eyes on him and he couldn't help but wonder if she knew something was going on. Beast Boy wouldn't have been too surprised if she did—she was an empath, after all—but began to make conscious efforts to calm himself whenever he was around her. If she did notice, she never said anything, and Beast Boy was grateful for that.

Now, though, Beast Boy seriously doubted that even Raven knew the magnitude of what was happening to him. There was no way he would have been sent back alone if she had.

Things progressively got worse when the restlessness started to fuel a nasty sense of belligerence. With his animal DNA, he had always had some natural aggression but it had never pushed him to fight harder and more ruthlessly in battle.

Until today, that is.

A routine fight against Control Freak had turned violent when the nerd-turned-criminal started shooting firework-like missiles at the Titans. Beast Boy, thankfully in the form of a rhinoceros, had been directly hit by one and although it hadn't hurt, the changeling became furious.

_That pudgy little wannabe shot me!_ Beast Boy snarled and changed himself into a spider monkey, dodging the rest of the villain's arsenal until he was faced to face with Control Freak. Then before he could register the change, Beast Boy was a saber-tooth tiger and was inches away from slicing his opponent into ribbons. Even when he realized what he was doing and Control Freak began screaming, the changeling didn't stop. Control Freak deserved it for all the times he'd messed with the Titans. He was a problem, one Beast Boy needed to take care of for good—

Robin ordered him to stop. The shout had barely made its way through the nearly deafening sound of his own pounding heart but Beast Boy had heard. Growling, the changeling's first instinct was to turn on the Boy Wonder but the shock of that sudden desire—to rip apart his leader and more importantly, his _friend_—shocked the green teen into submission.

_What is _wrong_ with me? _Beast Boy thought, dropping Control Freak and backing away from the hysterical villain. _I was going to _kill_ him! I knew that and I didn't stop! I didn't_ want _to stop!_

He couldn't pretend any longer. Something was happening to him, and whatever it was, it was _bad_. He went through a mental check list, going over the last few weeks and searching any indication of what might have brought on these changes in him. The Titans hadn't been in any plants or factories so his odds of being affected by some kind of chemical were low. He didn't think his Beast was coming out—whatever was happening to him simply didn't _feel_ like his transformation into the Beast and beyond that, the circumstances simply weren't right for it. He didn't turn into his larger, more vicious alter ego unless…he cast a side-long glance at Raven and was amazed that, despite everything happening at the moment, he could still blush.

Was it the Sakutia, then? Beast Boy dismissed that thought as quickly as it came. He had been cured or the disease had at least been forced to lay dormant but either way, he didn't feel sick at all.

He had not come into contact with any strange chemicals. It wasn't his Beast or the Sakutia. That only left one option.

It was _him_. There was something wrong with him, with his body. He had the entire animal kingdom and then some running through his veins, and it felt like every single creature was struggling to make its way through his skin. Beast Boy had to struggle against a nearly overwhelming urge to change form and only barely managed to suppress it.

As Cyborg hauled Control Freak to the waiting police cars and the girls dealt with the press, Robin took Beast Boy aside and sternly reminded him not to let his temper get the best of him. The changeling nodded distractedly, still trying to calm his erratic heartbeat and harsh breathing. He snapped back to attention quickly and with mounting dread, however, when his leader peered at little more closely at him.

"Actually, I don't think I've ever seen you lose it like that, BB," Robin said slowly. His gaze turned wary, and Beast Boy knew the Boy Wonder was thinking those damnable chemicals and his unstable DNA. "Is everything okay? Raven mentioned that you've been having trouble sleeping lately…"

Beast Boy was so tense he was certain his muscles were on the verge of snapping. He could only detect concern in Robin's voice but the green teen still felt cold sweat running down the back of his neck, although that might have been from the strain of keeping his instincts contained. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Just—shouldn't've gotten so angry, you know?"

"If you say so." Robin nodded slowly but there was still some unease showing on his masked face. "But you _do_ look exhausted. Why don't you go back to the Tower and get some rest? We can bring you back something from the pizza place."

"Sure, Rob," the changeling answered, forcing a smile. He hoped it didn't look as tight as it felt. "A nap sounds awesome right about now. Just don't let Cy order for me, okay?"

Beast Boy left immediately after that, turning into a peregrine falcon and flying back to the Tower as quickly as his wings could carry him. He had barely managed to stumble through the door to the common room before falling to the ground, which was where he was still lying, gritting his teeth and desperately clinging to whatever measure of control he had left. A growl of pain made its way through his clenched teeth.

"Beast Boy?" Jinx's voice caused him to twitch violently. He'd forgotten he had an audience. "I'm calling Robin now, alright?"

"No!" he yelped. _The others won't understand. They'll think I'm pulling another Beast, and I don't know how to explain that this isn't the same thing! Robin won't listen again and they'll run more tests and nothing will show up and what if he puts me in jail for real this time? _"Don't. I—I'm okay, this'll pass in a second…"

"Uh-huh." If the pink-haired sorceress was skeptical, she had a good reason to be. He couldn't finish his sentence without biting back a squawk or snarl. Then she leaned over him and he was surprised to see a contemplative expression on her face. "You've got some weird genetic code, don't you? Something about animals?"

The changeling blinked sweat out of his eyes but managed to nod.

"Then I think I know what's going on with you, and I can help. Think you can make it to the gym? I don't want to throw out my back trying to carry you." But she did pull him to his feet and yanked him in the direction of the training room. Beast Boy was only vaguely aware of where they were going but dutifully followed after the pink-haired sorceress. Once they arrived, she muttered a few incantations and the walls began to shimmer with a bright pink hue. Jinx smirked at her handy work before giving Beast Boy another little push into the room. "Okay, greeny, you're good to go."

"What?"

"The room's secure. Let go," Jinx said. When he continued to stare at her, Jinx frowned. "Wait…do you even know what's happening here?"

"No! Do you think I'd be like this if I knew what was going on with me?!" Beast Boy exploded furiously.

She rolled her eyes at his outburst. "Alright, alright, no need to get your spandex in a wad. Here's the deal—the animal impulses swimming around in you? You've been keeping them cooped up for too long and they want out. So you're going to have to let them go."

The changeling was gaping at her now. She was crazy. She had to be to ask him to let go of over ten years of suppressed emotions and desires. He wouldn't be able to control himself and the thought of the kind of damage he could do to the room—not to mention Jinx—made him shudder. "I can't—"

"Look, greeny, you've got maybe six minutes and thirty-two seconds," Jinx interrupted impatiently. "The spell I have around the room will keep anyone outside from hearing what goes on in here, and I've also got a few spells to fix anything you break. So let it out, alright?"

Beast Boy stared at her for a second longer—and then, before he could figure out how he had even gotten to the other side of the training room, he was with the exercise equipment and, in the form of a gorilla, had thrown his treadmill against the wall. The pieces hadn't even hit the ground yet, and he had already ripped the head off of one the boxing dummies and was halfway through de-limbing another one. The changeling was going through animal forms faster than he had known was physically possible—one moment he was a gorilla chucking Cyborg's six hundred pound weights forty feet onto the wrestling mats and two seconds later, he was a bull barreling through the obstacle course, destroying everything he could get his horns into. And less than six seconds after that, he had been a cheetah, a rhino, and a tyrannosaurus.

Of course, Beast Boy was hardly aware of any of this. It was hard to concentrate on anything beyond the way his heart was exploding in his ears and the roars tearing from his throat. Still, slowly but surely, he could feel the anxiety and aggression releasing from his tense muscles. Breathing became harder as his energy drained out of him but the burning in his lungs felt good. Two minutes later as he finished decimating the last piece of equipment in the training room—the balancing beams—the changeling found himself in the middle of the room, gasping for air—and feeling freer than he had in weeks.

"Beast Boy?" Jinx re-appeared, prompting Beast Boy to wonder where she'd gone during his mini-hurricane. "Are you in control?"

"Yeah, I'm…back!" the changeling exclaimed. He could hardly draw enough breath to talk but he managed a huge grin. "Dude, I haven't…felt this good…in weeks!"

A second later, an overwhelming wave of exhaustion crashed into him and he fell face-first onto a mat.

He regained consciousness only a few minutes later and if he'd had the energy, he would have been extremely surprised to see that the training room was exactly as it had been before he had torn it apart. Lifting his head a little, the changeling saw Jinx using a spell to put the pieces of his treadmill back together. Once she finished, she briskly popped her knuckles and surveyed her work.

"And Wally wonders how I manage to keep the apartment so clean," Jinx said with a smirk. She looked at the panting changeling and nudged his arm with her foot. His bicep spasmed, causing her to frown. "Hey, you okay down there?"

Beast Boy tried to answer but was only able to groan. Rolling over, he laid his forehead on the floor, enjoying the cool of the concrete against his skin. The cool spread through him, and he began shivering again. His stomach made a gurgling noise and gave a funny lurch, and a moment later, an acidic taste flooded his mouth. It wasn't until Jinx hauled him up by the back of his uniform and shoved him toward a trashcan that he realized that he was about to throw up. It took him awhile to finish emptying his last few meals into the bin, and it was another few minutes before his knees felt like they could support his weight. Jinx seemed to notice that he was trying to find a place to rest, and with a sigh that seemed a tiny bit more sympathetic than exasperated, she wrapped his arm around her shoulders and helped him stumble to a bench. After sitting him down, she went to the cooler and brought him back a water bottle and another trashcan.

"Here, rinse your mouth out and spit," she said, handing him the water and can. She watched him carefully as he did what she said. "Better?"

"Not really. I just don't think I have anything left in my stomach," Beast Boy replied weakly. He gestured toward the other trashcan. "That was breakfast, lunch, and last night's dinner, and lemme tell you—tofu teriyaki does _not_ taste so good the second time around."

Jinx's face crinkled in disgust. "That was _way_ more information than I needed. And I meant, are you better in regards to your…um, outburst?"

Beast Boy flushed, staring down at the floor. "Oh. Uh, yeah," he answered. "I'm okay."

"Alright, good," she replied briskly. "Hopefully, you won't have to do this too often—you held it together for a pretty long time anyway, so you've got good control—but if you feel it's about to happen, gimme a call. The Tower's a much cooler place to hang out when I'm actually invited to it."

The changeling stared at her in disbelief. Not only had he just gone ballistic on the training room but Jinx, former HIVE member and his ex-enemy, had been the one to convince him to release what felt like years of suppressed frustration and rage. Then, after he finished tearing the place apart, she had calmly cleaned up his mess and was now promising to help him out again if he ever needed it. The only thing more confusing than her offer was how she had even known what was wrong with him.

"How'd you know…?" That was as much of his question he could get out. The shame and embarrassment of just how much control he'd allowed himself to lose made him feel like he was going to be sick again, although he highly doubted there was anything left in his stomach.

But Jinx answered him as if what had just happened was one of the most natural things in the world. "Mammoth. He kind of has the same problem as you, I think, with his animalistic tendencies and the way emotions affect them. I used to do this for him, too, because he would always worry he was about to lose it and hurt someone. For someone who liked to act all big and tough, he really was a pushover."

"Ah." Beast Boy wasn't sure what else to say without voice his skepticism. The idea of the bulky HIVE Five member being a softie was not once he could readily believe.

"Anyway," the pink-haired sorceress continued airily as she repaired a tiny bend in Cyborg's dumbbells. "I'm no biologist but I don't think what's going on with you is a big deal. Just don't repress so much."

"Yeah," the changeling answered half-heartedly. _So much for always staying in control_, he thought. "But somehow I don't think Robin's going to be cool with me having to…freak out like this every once in a while."

A mischievous smile lit up the ex-villain's face. She patted the changeling's head. "Well, what the Boy Wonder doesn't know can't hurt you."

Beast Boy smiled, feeling himself relax for the first time in weeks. He figured his body would probably be extremely sore the next day but if he could get a full night's sleep again, he was more than willing to pay that price. "Thanks," he whispered.

"Don't mention it, greeny. I won't—and it's nice to undermine authority every once in a while," she shrugged, and Beast Boy let the rebellious comment slide. "But I am surprised no one else figured this out. Shouldn't Raven have sensed—or whatever her empathic abilities do to tell her someone's about to freak out—this coming?"

Beast Boy laughed a little as they walked out the door. "I think Raven's kind of learned to tune me out. She…"

Their voices trailed off as they walked farther from the training room.

* * *

It was well past midnight when a cloaked figured walked into the surveillance room and brought up footage of the gym from the past afternoon. Cyborg was hooked up to the Tower security and his memory files did have access to the video cameras but with so many rooms in their home, he wasn't likely to miss a few minutes of footage from a specific area. And if he did—well, he would wonder but the half-metal man would probably think it was just a minor glitch and do a little maintenance. He wouldn't worry too much over it because there would be no damage done. 

There would also be no possible way to retrieve the file, either—she would make sure of that. Jinx had done a nearly perfect job of hiding Beast Boy's eruption of animalistic aggression but the sorceress was new to the Tower and didn't know about the security cameras. She had not known to cast some spell to knock them out.

Raven, however, did know and took it upon herself to make sure that Beast Boy's secret stayed as such. This was a private matter, and if the green Titan had found a way to handle his instincts and darker nature instead of simply repressing them, then there was no need to alert the entire Tower to his problem. It was a little out of character of the pink-haired sorceress to be so willing to help someone else but she thought Jinx was trustworthy enough. Still, Raven decided she would discreetly monitor any future meetings between the sorceress and the changeling. She saw his large gorilla fist smash through a balance beam and made mental note to find some excuse to check out his hand in case he did some damage to it. Perhaps she would insist upon teaching Beast Boy mediation to make sure that those meetings were as few in number as possible. This method was effective but probably a little too destructive to be healthy.

She watched her friend shift back to his human form before collapsing onto the floor. Her frown deepened when she saw Jinx help him to a bench before he threw up and heard their brief conversation. The ex-villain was wrong. The green Titan's odd behavior had been noticed and if Raven had been a just little more perceptive of what the changeling was feeling, this entire episode might have been prevented. She would be more careful next time. It wasn't Jinx's responsibility to look out for Beast Boy, after all.

Raven had taken that job a long time ago.


	43. Hours

**A/N:** Sorry for the wait, everyone. School has just been a nightmare this semester and going through knee surgery recently hasn't helped any. On a brighter note, I'm out for Christmas in about two weeks and if I can ever figure out endings for a few oneshots, I'll have lots of updates for you then. I swear I'm not losing interest here. Life just keeps getting in the way, that's all.

But, hey, at least this is a pretty long oneshot, right? And there's some pretty blatant shippiness, too! I got the format idea while playing around on livejournal—when I was supposed to be working on a ten page paper for my Shakespeare class but that's beside the point—and even though _The Little Mermaid_ is mentioned in that fic, too, my usage of it goes in an entirely different direction. Meg, if you're reading this, it's all your fault. You, dear roomie, are ruining Disney for me.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed and thanks again for your patience, guys.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing mentioned. I do, however, have a nice, new scar on my right knee but that's irrelevant.

006. Hours

**Hour One **

It was exactly twelve o'clock A.M., and all Beast Boy wants to do is collapse back into his nice, warm bed, where he was happily sleeping just fifteen minutes ago. That was the first time he'd gotten into bed at a decent hour all week, and he is loathe to give up the little time he has to rest. Even though the Brotherhood of Evil had been defeated and with them most of Jump City's resident villains, it seemed that other groups of criminals had risen to take the place of their iced-over comrades. And unfortunately, this new generation of evil-doers enjoyed targeting the Titans, specifically the original five. Jump City certainly wasn't becoming a cesspool for theft and violence but the near-nonexistence crime rates of the last few months were slowly but steadily rising again.

At the moment, the team is dealing with the Fearsome Five, a group that's given them the most trouble all week, despite being—in the Titans' opinions, at least—a blatant knock-off of the HIVE Five. Still, the new super-villain team seems to know what it is doing and they were quickly making themselves known as the Teen Titans newest arch-rivals.

But Beast Boy is thankful in a way. Sure, the city was sometimes in danger and that was always a bad thing but at least he isn't as bored as he had been in the weeks immediately following their return from Tokyo, when all the Titans had had to do was to repair the Tower and stop the occasional thug from robbing a bank. He also no longer worries over the secret fear he harbors about the team breaking up due to lack of criminal activity.

_Still_, the changeling thinks as he swallows a yawn. _Don't these guys ever sleep?_

**Hour Two **

Raven scowls. "You just had to say that, didn't you?"

"What?" Beast Boy demands defensively, looking the accusing expressions on each of his teammates' faces. "You know you were all thinking it."

From his position in the front seat, Robin shakes his head. "Yes, but we had the good sense not to say it out loud."

The green young man glares at his leader. "Rob, you throw out one-liners at the bad guys all the time! You can't tell me I can't do it!"

"Yes, I do it, and yes, you can do it—but not at guys who can blast us with…whatever this stuff is," Robin replies, gesturing to the odd yellow gunk that covered the Titans. It is slimy and smells horrible but after Cyborg quickly ran a scan of it, they at least know it's not toxic.

"Look, B, just start thinking before you say stuff, okay?" Cyborg says grumpily. "And, all of y'all, don't lean on the backs of the seats, understand? I don't want this stuff all over my baby's interior."

Beast Boy huffs as Starfire allows some of the gunk to drip off her arm. "Friends? Is it possible that this…goo…might be the mucus known as flynn?"

"Star, I think you mean…" Robin trails off and turns a rather interesting shade of green as a collective groan sounds in the T-Car.

**Hour Three**

"You need a shower," Raven informs him.

Beast Boy glares blearily at the dark girl and then gestures toward the closed bathroom door beside him. "I'm _trying_ but Star called first dibs and then it was Robin's turn, and he's the hold-up. I don't know if he's styling his hair or what, but he's taking for-freaking-ever!"

"They should have let you go first. I could smell you from down the hall," the Azarathian says and merely raises an eyebrow when he glares again. "In any case, I'm showering next."

Beast Boy snorts in disbelief. "No way, dude, _I'm_ next. _I'm_ the one who's been waiting."

"And I would have been next in line but I needed to meditate," Raven says and a bit of agitation creeps into her voice.

"But you _were_ meditating while I was waiting for the shower. Which means _I_ am next," Beast Boy points out matter-of-factly. Logic is rarely on his side during arguments with Raven but as this is one of the rare occasions that it is, the changeling is determined not to lose.

"We wouldn't need showers if you hadn't pissed off Leakage," the girl counters.** "**Besides, the water is always cold by the fourth shower and I had to take the cold shower last night. It's your turn."

Beast Boy crosses his arms defiantly. "Nope. Sorry, Rae, but first come, first serve and I am not moving."

Raven narrows her eyes. "You aren't going to be reasonable, are you?"

"I _am_ being reasonable! I—" He is abruptly cut off by Raven advancing on him. The green Titan gulps fearfully and backs up until he is pressed up against the wall. It does not take him long to realize two things: that when Raven stops, there is likely only half an inch of space between their bodies, and that even under the foul-smelling gunk, he can still get a distinct whiff of her Nag Champa incense. "Uh…"

"I am showering next," Raven says, and the changeling can feel the breath from her words on his face. She is still taller than him but not by much and with slight tilt of his head, he could bumped his nose against hers. "Agreed?"

She must take his stunned silence as an affirmative because a moment later, when Robin finally exits the bathroom, the Azarathian walks in. Beast Boy watches her go before letting his head fall back against the wall with a _thunk_ and a sigh. That was an underhanded move, and he knows Raven knows that. Which is probably why she did it.

_Well_, he thinks. _At least now I actually _need_ that cold shower._

**Hour Four **

His hair is still damp when he finally collapses into the top bunk of his bed but Beast Boy cannot bring himself to care. Sure, he'll have a funky hair day when he wakes up tomorrow but that can be fixed if he borrows some of Robin's hair gel. The guy buys it in bulk so the changeling doubts he'll miss a little bit.

A sleepy smile comes to Beast Boy's face as remembers Rita telling him that going to bed like this will make him sick. He pauses in his half-awake, half-asleep state. How did that rhyme of hers go again? Oh, yeah—"Go to bed with a wet head and when you wake, your bones will ache".

Whatever, though. Right now, sleep is the only thing that matters.

**Hour Five **

Beast Boy, still blissfully slumbering, rolls over and burrows deeper into the cocoon of his covers. He is naturally hot-natured but when he sleeps, he prefers to nestle in a wad of sheets and blankets. Animal instinct, he figures.

**Hour Six **

A bad dream causes a frown to appear on his face. Swatting out against an enemy that exists only in his head, Beast Boy knocks his hand against the wooden side of his bed. The ensuing pain makes him abruptly though groggily wake up.

"Eh?" He asks intelligently but his senses are already alert and looking for danger. After casting a searching glance to each part of his room, the changeling deems that the area is safe and that he's only been having a nightmare.

A moment later, he is lightly snoring once more.

**Hour Seven **

A sharp ringing worms its way into his head but after his subconscious realizes it is not the Alarm—his body had long ago learned to react immediately and without thought if the Titans' Alarm sounded—Beast Boy chooses to ignore it and fervently hopes it will go away. Sadly, a few more minutes pass and the noise does not go away. No matter how hard he fights to hold onto his state of unconsciousness, it is no use. Lifting his head just enough to peer over the side of his railing, the green Titan glares about to see what is disturbing his rest.

An alarm clock. His alarm clock, specifically, though the changeling cannot figure out why it is going off. He only sets that thing one day of the week so if it's going off—

Crap. It _is_ Saturday, and his shows are going to start in half an hour.

Thinking he might skip his weekend cartoons just this once, Beast Boy gropes around his bed for something to drop on and likely—_hopefully_—break the alarm clock. When he can't find anything heavy enough, the changeling grumbles to himself but knows he's going to have to actually shut the thing off manually. Still, if he hurries, he can quiet it and retain enough sleepiness to go back to sleep immediately.

Unfortunately, Beast Boy discovers that attempting to quickly get out of a bunk bed in a groggy state often leads to mishaps. In his case, he misses the first step of his ladder and with a yelp, finds himself falling downward. He lands hard on his rear and feels the last bits of his previous lethargy slipping away due to the shock of pain. His chances of going right back to sleep are gone.

With a growl, Beast Boy heaves himself up and begins to once again look for something heavy. That alarm clock is so dead.

**Hour Eight **

Beast Boy rubs at his eyes and eats another spoonful of his cereal. Actually, it's Starfire's choice cereal, Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs—he forgoes the mustard his friend usually bathed her breakfast in—but he's out of tofu and doesn't feel like scrambling eggs. He'll go to the supermarket later today. If he remembers correctly, it is his turn to go anyway.

The door slides open, revealing Raven on the other side. If she is surprised to see him awake, she doesn't' show it as she nods in greeting and makes her way to the kitchen. For his part, Beast Boy goes bright red as he recalls their earlier meeting outside the bathroom but manages to stutter out a good morning.

"Aren't you a little old for cartoons?" Raven asks. She probably means it to be a rhetorical question, considering how many times they've had this conversation, but the changeling answers her anyway.

"Star watches cartoon. She oughta be out here in, like, fifteen minutes," Beast Boy says.

"Starfire is Starfire, and is therefore excused," the Azarathian replies, pouring the hot water into her tea. "Beyond that, she has learned to balance juvenile pastimes with maturity and perception."

"Yeah? Well, Robin still watches cartoons, too," Beast Boy says with a smug smirk.

Raven simply raises an eyebrow over her tea cup.

The changeling snickers. "Just watch how much attention he's actually paying to his newspaper when _X-Men: Evolution_ comes on."

**Hour Nine **

It isn't often that Beast Boy gets a chance to hang out with Starfire one-on-one but it's always fun when he does. They like a lot of the same things and don't think less of each other for liking those things, even if their teammates deem some of their activities as childish. And sure, maybe popping in a Disney movie—he'd let the alien princess choose, something he'd regretted when she held up _The Little Mermaid_—after discovering that there were only reruns of your favorite cartoons on TV is kind of silly.

But let them think what they want, the changeling decides. If Robin, Cyborg, and Raven are so busy being "mature" that they miss stuff like Starfire erupting into giggles as Ariel hoists herself on that rock during the final notes of "Part of Your World" and exclaiming that the mermaid is having a "mammary moment", that is totally their loss.

**Hour Ten **

Of course, the situation loses some of its humor when Starfire suddenly asks him to explain exactly what a mammary is because apparently Raven was the first to make that comment and then refused to explain herself.

**Hour Eleven **

He is halfway through filling out an on-line sign up for some acting classes at the community college when the registration form asks for his legal guardians. At first, he isn't sure why they'd want it but remembers that he's still under eighteen and figured that was why.

Still, he's not sure how to put down. Rita and Steve are his guardians since they're his adopted parents but this form is probably looking for someone closer by. Someone who is only a phone call away instead of on a super-secret mission in some unknown location, which is usually how it is with the Doom Patrol. Beast Boy sometimes thinks Mento watched too many James Bond movies as a child.

After a little more contemplation, the changeling goes to the Evidence Room.

"Hey, Robin? You count as a legal guardian, don't you?"

**Hour Twelve **

"Rae! Got some new jokes for ya!" Beast Boy exclaims.

Raven sighs. "Oh boy."

Beast Boy makes a point to ignore her less-than-enthused tone. Deep down in places the Azarathian won't admit to having, he thinks she appreciates his efforts. "So, why did the fungus go to the party?"

"I don't think I care."

"Because he was such a fungi!" Beast Boy says with a laugh. He gets no response except for a roll of violet eyes. "Okay, how about this one: why do cows wear bells around their necks?"

Silence.

"Because their horns don't work!"

From the bland expression on her face, the changeling doesn't think Raven is going to dignify him with any kind of reply this time either. Damn. Back to the drawing board…

**Hour Thirteen **

People think he hates training but really, that's not it.

He just doesn't want to do it on a weekend, especially weekends that follow hellish weeks like the one they'd just been through.

"Rob, it's Saturday," Beast Boy moans after completing his second round on his treadmill. It's his best time in quite a while and if he didn't so exasperated, he might have been proud of himself. "_Why_ are we doing this on a Saturday?"

"Crime doesn't rest on the weekends, Beast Boy," Robin absently reminds his teammate as he clocks in the changeling's results. "And neither can we."

Beast Boy just stares. "Seriously, dude, how can you say stuff like that and _I'm_ the one that gets us blasted with snot?"

**Hour Fourteen **

That mysterious blue fuzz is still in the refrigerator, Beast Boy notes as he scours the appliance for something to eat for lunch. For a few seconds, he thinks that he maybe ought to clean it out but decides against it. As long as it isn't trying to eat the cheese and condiments anymore, he doesn't see any harm in letting it be.

Besides, that stuff survived through their year-long absence _and_ Saico-Tek's assault on the Tower. Having dealt with weird, potentially evil food-like substances before, Beast Boy does not want to have to put up with anything like that again, especially if it's that resilient.

**Hour Fifteen **

"How much time have you spent in front of the TV today, B?" Cyborg asks, wiping some grease from the T-Car off his hands. At least, the changeling hopes it's just grease and not any more of that funky yellow goo.

"Only a few hours," Beast Boy answers as he casually flips through the channels. He catches his best friend's skeptical look. "What? I swear, dude, I watched some cartoons and a movie with Star this morning, and I've only just found the remote again. You know, I think Raven's hiding it…"

"Gonna rot your brain, little man," Cyborg grins and gives him a friendly knock on his head.

With a smirk, the changeling picks up a gamestation controller and dangles it from his hand. "Oh, so you're not into playing a few rounds of _Super Slam Siblings Skirmish_, then?"

A competitive gleam appears in the half-metal man's eye. "Let's rot away."

**Hour Sixteen **

Thirty-eight rounds and twenty-two defeats later, Cyborg declares himself the Supreme Grand Master of the Gamestation.

Beast Boy begins plotting a coup d'état.

**Hour Seventeen **

Robin shakes his head in fond exasperation at the green dog snoozing in a sun beam. He can think of at least six beneficial activities the green young man should be doing right now—and yet the changeling is taking a nap. Typical.

Still, the Boy Wonder opts not to wake him. They were all up late dealing with the recent outbreak of crime last night and likely would be again tonight, and Cyborg wouldn't be ready to drop Beast Boy off at the grocery store for at least another ten minutes. It won't hurt to let the green teen get a little more rest.

**Hour Eighteen **

Beast Boy, arms laden with groceries, checks the clock as he walks out of the supermarket. He has another fifteen minutes before Cy will be back to pick him up. He frowns, wishing he hadn't hurried through his shopping so quickly and considers going back in to get that bacon the half-metal man asked him to pick up.

Or he can people-watch. That seems more productive.

After nodding politely to an elderly couple strolling along and snickering at the horrendous toupee another man was sporting, the changeling sees a bunch of teenagers walking on the other side of the street. They don't seem to notice him, something that slightly miffs him—he isn't nearly as conceited as the other Titans sometimes think but he does like talking to people and a little ego-boosting from fans is always appreciated—until he notices just how engrossed they are in some conversation they were having. Not having anything better to do, he decides to listen in. Having extremely sensitive hearing does have its perks.

The noises from the traffic and the fact that he doesn't know any of the teenagers make the conversation somewhat difficult to follow but from what Beast Boy can gather, they were trying to decide what movie they will go see this evening. A tall boy is advocating the new horror flick that had opened this weekend but the black-haired girl walking beside him says that since the guys chose last week, it is the girls' turn. Another boy thinks that they should probably just rent something instead since doing so will be cheaper and he is short on cash, and his friends seem to agree to the idea—as long as he invites over some girl named Sarah because it's about time he gets over that bitchy Anna chick.

Is this what normal teenagers do on Saturdays, the changeling wonders. Do they just wake up at noon and then go to a soccer practice or to a job at a fast food joint before going home to hang out with friends and family? Was their biggest concern really just figuring out how to keep from being bored? That's how things work in the movies but it's hard to believe that life could be just that simple.

Then again, though, maybe it could be. Being normal had to be easier than being a Titan. After all, normal teenagers don't have to worry about saving the city while sleep deprived.

Beast Boy watches the group as they continue down the sidewalk. _Wonder what it'd be like to…?_

Then he hears his communicator go off and sees the T-Car speeding toward him, and he doesn't have time to wonder anymore.

**Hour Nineteen **

Some of Jump City's newest criminals were forces to be reckoned with. Others were…well, pretty stupid.

Beast Boy figures that Godiva falls into the latter category.

The arrest takes all of thirty minutes and most of the work is done by Godiva herself, an acrylic-nailed nut job who invaded the upscale Rene-Charles Salon and took a bunch of stylists hostage. When the Titans arrive at the scene, she is actually threatening to poison the poor beauticians and cosmetologists by making them eat their own products if they do not reveal to her each and every one of their fashion tips and secrets. Thankfully, Godiva quickly becomes so distracted by her envious interrogation of Starfire—the villain demands to know what products the Tamaranian princess uses to rinse and rejuvenate her amazing hair—that she does not notice Raven using a force field to round up her minions and Cyborg freeing the hostages while Robin and Beast Boy sneak up on her. The two boys have her bound and gagged before Starfire can fully understand what the woman is even talking about.

"I believe that woman is deranged," the alien princess comments as a struggling Godiva is taken into police custody.

"Yeah, probably," Beast Boy says. He always figured most bad guys had a few screws loose but this one does seem to be exceptionally crazy. "So, dinner?"

"Sounds good," Robin answers, shaking his head as Godiva squashes her face against the back window of a patrol car and glares ferociously at the Titans. "Where do you guys want to eat?"

**Hour Twenty **

Beast Boy wonders if there is some sort of inherent teenage ability that allows them to eat pizza at least four times a week and never get sick of it.

**Hour Twenty-one **

"It's just not going to happen, man," Cyborg says as Beast Boy walks away from yet another failed attempt at getting a laugh from Raven. "Control Freak's got a better chance of finding a girlfriend."

The changeling shrugs, not particularly bothered by the fact that he's been shot down three times in the one day. That happens fairly often anyway. "I said I wasn't going to stop until I got her to smile. And one of these days, dude, I will."

"And then what?"

"What do you mean 'then what'?"

Cyborg crosses his arms over his large chest. "Think about it, Beast Boy. On the off-chance—and by that I mean, no chance—that you actually do get that girl to smile, what are you going to do then?"

The green Titan holds up an expressive finger. "Then I'll…I'll…uh…"

The half-metal man just smiles as a rather panicked expression of realization comes to Beast Boy's face.

**Hour Twenty-two **

No, seriously, what _is_ he going to do?

**Hour Twenty-three **

Robin finds out about the mammary thing. He's shocked at first but quickly begins to laugh.

Until Star mentions exactly who told her what a mammary is.

Beast Boy decides this is a very good time for him to go to bed.

**Hour Twenty-four **

The Titans' Alarm goes off again at exactly 11:53 PM.

As Beast Boy leaps out of bed—managing _not_ to slip and fall this time—he decides that sleep just isn't in his future. Maybe tomorrow…


	44. Who

**A/N:** Admittedly, this one is kind of weird, and I'm not sure it came out quite the way I meant it to. I'm going to go ahead and blame my pain medication.

**Disclaimer:** I think Dan DiDio harbors a great deal of resentment toward me. So, if I ever did get legitimate rights to TT, I'd be fired within the month.

076. Who

"Hey, Star?" Beast Boy asked suddenly. "Doing the stuff we do—do you think one of us is ever going to get killed?"

The alien princess seemed a little startled by his question but answered anyway. "Our duty as protectors of the city is dangerous. We have had to risk our lives many times already. It makes me sad to think that death is a possibility but it would be foolish to believe otherwise."

Beast Boy nodded, leaning back and putting his arms behind his head. Living in such a large city made it difficult to see the stars sometimes but the sky was clearer tonight than it had been in months. Even though he and Starfire were supposed to be patrolling the area for criminal activity and the roof of this building wasn't very comfortable to lie on, Beast Boy found that all he wanted to do was just watch the stars.

"Who do you think will die first?" the changeling asked. His voice was softer this time, and he sounded sadder than he meant to.

He didn't need to look over at Starfire to know her expression was one of disapproval. "I do not believe our friends would appreciate that we would discuss such matters."

"They wouldn't," he replied because he knew that was true. The green Titan turned his head to look at her. "But…I've been thinking about it a lot lately. And I know you've thought about it, too."

Beast Boy couldn't explain how he knew that she had but he did. Still, he was kind of relieved when her stern appearance turned to one of contemplation. The others would have gotten mad if he'd mentioned this subject to them. Robin and Cyborg probably would have yelled at him for even bringing up the thought that one of them could die because, with those two, fear often led to anger. And if there was one thing Cyborg and Robin were afraid of, it was that someone else they cared about would die on them.

Raven would have clammed up and refused to speak with him any further on the matter—or any other matter for at least twenty-four hours. She might have talked to him later, during one of the weird yet meaningful conversations they would have every once in a while, but even then, she would tell him not to think about it. Death scared Raven, too, even if she never would admit it.

In a way, Beast Boy knew he didn't blame them for those kinds of reactions. He probably wouldn't respond well to a friend asking something like that.

Unless it was Starfire who asked and then the changeling would have reacted just like she was—with a small, sad smile. Beast Boy didn't know how he knew that was the way it would be or even why asking Starfire such a morbid question was so different than asking one of the other Titans.

But he did, and it was.

"If you realize that I have wondered, then you also know what I believe," Starfire told him.

Now Beast Boy was the one to smile sadly. He knew what she thought, and maybe this was why he could only ask her. Robin, Cyborg, and Raven would all know why he'd brought up such a question—because, really, no one can ask that unless they already think they know the answer—but they would think he was wrong. Starfire wouldn't—Starfire _didn't_—so maybe this was the reason that they were able to have this conversation. It took one to know one, after all.

"Yeah," he said, turning his attention back to the stars. They would need to get back to sweeping the area soon but he wanted to take another moment to remember their brightness. "That's what I think, too."


	45. Orange

**A/N**: The title for this made more sense in the story's first draft, which only contained about a thousand words. But then inspiration struck and the story morphed into something with a much more detailed plot and along the lines of 5800 words. The title still applies, though, and I hope the length of this will make up for how long it's taken me to update. Sorry, guys, but college is an evil, time-consuming thing that has to come first.

This takes place after _The Prophecy_ but before _The End, _and some people might recognize some of the dialouge from former TT writer Geoff Jones' "The Future Is Now" arc (that's the first time the Titans meet their evil future selves), during which Beast Boy is confronted by Animal Man. Also, if at any time Slade comes off a little (but _only_ a little. If it's too much, I want to know) like villain from some low budget horror film, don't panic. This is my first time writing him but his character was intentional.

**Disclaimer**: I still don't own the Teen Titans.

012. Orange

When he woke up, the first thing Beast Boy noticed was that he wasn't in his bed. The second thing was that he couldn't remember falling asleep.

The third was that he was probably in trouble.

Keeping completely still, Beast Boy cracked open an eye to take in his surroundings. He was surprised to see what appeared to be the base of something large. A pillar or maybe a sculpture? That was strange. But the texture of the ground felt dusty and rocky, so he couldn't imagine what kind of statue would be placed on—

Tilting his head just a fraction, he spied a vase of dried flowers and the beginnings of a plaque. A second later, the changeling's heart rate had jumped from a mildly concerned pace to speeding off toward panic, and all pretenses were abandoned as he stumbled to his feet.

He was in Terra's cave, lying directly in front of her statue. How had he ended up here? Where were the other Titans?

"You're awake, Beast Boy. Good." Someone said from behind him, causing the changeling's back to go rigid. He recognized that voice. "I don't like to be kept waiting."

"Slade!" Beast Boy hissed, spinning around and morphing into a tiger. He didn't strike but prepared himself for combat.

If the Terminator was at all perturbed, he didn't show it. "I am not here to fight. I simply have an interesting proposition to share with you."

The green tiger bared his fangs and growled.

Slade regarded him calmly. "There's no need to be melodramatic," he said. "If I had wanted you dead, I could have killed you while you were unconscious. Change back."

_Fat chance_, Beast Boy thought, eyeing his enemy with disdain. He knew no one in Jump City thought of him as the smartest Titan in the field but did Slade really think he was _that_ stupid? The only thing the changeling was interested in doing was getting as far from the masked psycho as quickly as possible. To do that, he just needed to find the exit and turn into something small and fast, like a hummingbird. Then he could zip out of the cave and figure out where his friends were before Slade had time to stop him.

Of course, finding the exit was the problem. Everything beyond Slade was dark so Beast Boy figured going in that direction would only lead him deeper into the cave. That meant the exit was probably behind him, though he didn't dare take his eyes off Slade long enough to check. The man was inhumanly fast and even if Beast Boy was confident that his heightened senses gave him a better reaction time than Slade could ever achieve, he wasn't going to take any chances. He had been beaten by Slade in one-on-one combat before and he wasn't sure he had gained enough experience since then to change the outcome of a fight.

So instead of checking his surroundings, the changeling simply started to back away. It was a little difficult to move the tiger's body in such a fashion and Beast Boy was sure he looked ridiculous but he wanted there to be more distance between himself and Slade before he made his escape.

He had not made it eight steps before his rump backed into something hard and slightly jagged. Surprise caused him to whip his head around, and Beast Boy found himself staring at a wall of stones.

"Perhaps I should have mentioned this before," Slade said as if he was simply commenting on something as minor as a traffic jam. "There's been a cave-in. You and I are trapped."

If a tiger had the necessary vocal chords and tongue, Beast Boy would have been cursing. As it was, he was forced to limit his expletives to his mind as he tried to figure out what to do. He couldn't remember Robin ever having a training session on what the proper course of action was when you were stuck in a cave with your greatest enemy and with the girl you'd almost loved who was now a statue. He couldn't even recall Mento going over a contingency plan for a situation like this.

"There is not a way out, Beast Boy. I wouldn't try to squeeze through the cracks between the rocks, either. They are packed much too tightly for you to get very far," Slade informed him. Beast Boy uneasily wondered if the villain had developed some sort of mind-reading technique—changing into a tape worm and slithering through the cracks had been exactly what he was thinking of. "You are trying my patience, though. It took a long time for you to wake up, and I would prefer not to waste as much time waiting for you to get too exhausted to hold another form."

Slade had a point. Keeping himself in larger animal form for long periods of time was exhausting. Beast Boy was sure he could remain as a tiger for a few hours yet before he got too tired but as the minutes worn on, that seemed less and less like the best plan. Robin was always telling the Titans that the best things to do in a crisis were to stay calm and conserve energy, and being trapped with Slade without the other Titans around was a crisis if Beast Boy had ever been in one.

Reluctantly, Beast Boy reverted back to his normal form. "What do you want, Slade? And how did I get here? Where are my friends?"

"One question at a time, Beast Boy. I brought you here. As for your teammates, they are none of my concern," Slade explained, ignoring Beast Boy's doubtful snort. "Finally, I have found that I am once again in need of…reliable assistance."

"Reliable assist—? Dude, you're shopping for an apprentice _again_?" The changeling demanded. He tried to sound incredulously but considering it was Slade, he had a difficult time being too surprised. "Don't you ever give up?"

"I believe that mothers have a saying about such things: if at first you don't succeed, try, try, try, again." Slade punctuated each 'try' with another step toward the Titan.

"Did you ever even have a mother?" Beast Boy spat, backing away and repeating a mantra in his head. _Think like Robin, and you'll be okay. Think like Robin, and you'll be okay. Think like Robin, and completely ignore the fact that Rob usually goes scary-crazy whenever he deals with Slade…_

The changeling shook his head as if to clear it. Okay, so thinking like Robin probably wasn't the best thing to do. Plus, thinking about Robin only led him to thoughts of all the Titans, and Beast Boy knew he didn't have time to freak out about where the others were or if they realized he was gone. He wasn't even worried about how Slade had managed to get _him_ into the cave anymore. His entire focus was back to thinking of ways to escape.

But…he couldn't remember the cave having another exit. The path behind Slade and Terra's statue only led deeper into the earth, and the thought of going even farther underground made Beast Boy feel uneasy. The darkness didn't bother him—well, it _did_ but only a little and he could easily turn into a nocturnal animal anyway—but the idea that he would only be going farther and farther away from the sky and sun chilled him. He could change into a gopher or a prairie dog and tunnel back to the surface but the time that would take and the effort might leave him exhausted. He couldn't hold his form if he got too tired and if he lost his form when digging…oh God, he'd be trapped in the dirt and rock and…a person couldn't breathe like that, they'd…

Beast Boy forced those thoughts away before the panic could build up. He would just have to find another way out. All he needed to do was keep his cool and think clearly, and the green Titan was sure he could get away. Then he could figure out where the other Titans were. It didn't make sense that he would be the only one Slade had. Why would the Terminator want just Beast Boy unless—

"Waaaait," Beast Boy said slowly, narrowing his eyes at the villain. "Are you asking _me_ to work for you?"

"Admittedly, it is not for your mental aptitude," Slade answered dryly. "You are smarter than you appear, Beast Boy, but I am far more interested in your brawn than your brain."

The changeling bristled indignantly. "Yeah, make fun of me. Because _that's_ going to make me want to join you in your quest for world domination and the pursuit of evil—or whatever it is you're after."

"You do want to join me. At least, you should," Slade said. He continued without waiting for the Titan's response. "Power is meant to be used but instead, you bury yours. It's a disgusting waste of a talent I could easily help you develop."

"You know, the whole 'join me' approach has never really worked out for anyone. Haven't you ever seen _Star Wars_?" As pleased as he was by that comment, Beast Boy figured antagonizing a man as murderous as Slade probably wasn't a good idea. He went back to emphasizing that he was not interested in an apprenticeship of any kind. "But, look, I don't know what you're talking about—"

"I see I am going to have to spell this out for you," Slade interrupted with mild annoyance. Beast Boy wondered if the man was rolling his eyes under his mask. "Your _Beast_, boy. It is a formidable weapon and one I would most like to be in possession of. You can't control it now but with the proper training—training only _I_ can give you—you could be great. You could be one of the most powerful beings on the planet."

That Slade knew about the monster living inside the darker places in his mind and heart unnerved the green Titan. The team had worked hard to keep that a secret from just about everyone, even going so far as to tell the press that Adonis had been the only one to transform into the creature and Beast Boy had simply been following the criminal in the largest gorilla morph he could muster. Thankfully, the fights between Adonis and Beast Boy had occurred so late at night that news crews were not roaming around the city so nothing was caught on film. Reporters were slightly skeptical but they eventually stopped asking questions and no official reports were ever made. There were rumors that floated around the city for a few weeks but Beast Boy couldn't imagine Slade being interested in those. No, the only way Slade would come after Beast Boy was if he had indisputable proof of the changeling's abilities. But how?

Beast Boy tried to cover up his nervousness with anger. "Is that the crap you told Terra? You lied to her, Slade, and in the end, she knew that. Robin always knew you were full of it," the changeling said. "And I know it, too. There's no way I'm working for you."

"Terra was weak and foolish," Slade replied simply. The green Titan's lips curled back in a snarl. "And I'm afraid Robin will always be held back by his ideals. Do not be so unwise as to make their mistakes, Beast Boy."

Talking to Slade had been a bad idea, Beast Boy decided. The man had the ability to twist people's thoughts and manipulate them into working toward his own ends without even realizing they were doing so. He'd almost done that Robin, and he had done that to Terra. The changeling wasn't about to be the next victim of Slade's mind games.

"I'm through listening to you, Slade," Beast Boy said loudly, turning away from the masked man and crossing his arms. "I might be stuck here with you, but I _don't_ have to listen to you."

"You cling to your humanity through humor. You could control the entire animal kingdom yet you ignore your greatest strength. It's truly disappointing," Slade commented with the air of a disapproving father. "You could be a god among men, if you would only stop being so damned ashamed of yourself."

"I am not ashamed of myself!" the changeling snapped. He was proud that the prick of unease growing in him did not find its way to his voice.

"Then why allow yourself to be just a little boy? Why try to be a man when you could be a powerful Beast?"

_No_, he thought, shutting his eyes tightly and clamping his hands over his ears. He didn't care how childish he looked so long as he couldn't hear the man in front of him. _No. I'm a man. Not an animal—a _man_. Raven said so._

"Raven?" Somehow Slade's voice was as clear as it have been, despite Beast Boy's attempts to block it out. It was like the man was in his head, and a second later, the changeling's blood ran cold with the fear that Slade might actually _be_ in his head. Was that possible? Slade had known what he was planning before and knew who he was thinking of now, and the evil bastard had messed with Robin's head that one time…Beast Boy swallowed, feeling more helpless than ever. "You would trust Raven's word over mine?"

The green Titan actually snorted derisively. "Duh. Raven's my friend. She cares about me—"

"Does she?" Slade interrupted and before the changeling could say the firm assertion that was forming in his mouth, he was interrupted by a familiar monotone voice.

"_Beast Boy has a brain?" _

The words shocked his eyes open. "Raven?!"

They weren't in the cave anymore. Instead, Beast Boy saw that somehow he and Slade were now in a funhouse, and the fact that they had been inexplicably transported did not bother him as much his realization of where they suddenly were. Though the changeling could not be certain how or why he knew this, he was sure this was the very same mirrored room that he had discovered Terra's betrayal in. He could hear the sounds of the carnival outside but instead of giving him the feeling of thrilled adrenaline that he usually got whenever he heard the cheerful music or children's laughter, a chill ran down his spine.

Raven was not there but her image was in the mirror directly in front of him. Cyborg and Robin were standing behind her, watching something with slightly concerned looks on their faces, but the Azarathian's eyebrow was raised in apparent skepticism. Starfire was at the front of the group, and she seemed to be supporting another person, who suddenly jerked back into consciousness with a laugh…

Beast Boy sucked in a started breath as he saw that _he_ was in the mirror, too.

"_Dude! That's not funny! I totally have a brain!"_ shouted his mirror image indignantly. _"I just don't use it much!"_

The real Beast Boy was too shaken to speak. How could Slade know about that? Did the man have cameras hidden in the Tower? No, that was impossible—Cyborg would have discovered the intrusion. They'd beefed up their security so much after the stuff with Terra that if even a flea entered the Tower without authorization, Cyborg knew about it. But what he was watching had happened way before the blonde geomancer walked into their lives. Slade must have had some way to record stuff in the Tower back then. How else could he have video footage of that conversation?

"You appear confused, Beast Boy," Slade remarked patronizingly. He appeared behind the Titan and patted the young man's head. "I must say that I am not surprised—the notion that anyone could be friends with the spawn of a demon is quite baffling."

"Shut up!" the changeling snarled fiercely, wrenching away from the masked man. He furiously rubbed at his scalp, which seemed to crawl from where Slade's hand had been. "Don't talk about Raven! You have no right to talk about her!"

"Yet she has a right to speak that way to you?" The masked villain's voice became even more scornful.

Beast Boy gritted his teeth together. "She always says stuff like that about me but she doesn't actually mean it. You don't know what you're talking about!"

"But I _do_ know. I know your dear Raven quite well. I did get to spend a copious amount of time with her the night that I explained her destiny to her. I would have spent more if Robin had not rudely interrupted." Slade rubbed at his chin in seeming perplexity. "And where were you that night, Beast Boy? If the girl is so precious to you, why were you not the one who saved her?"

Despite the growl rising in his throat, Beast Boy could feel himself flush with something that felt a lot like embarrassment. He didn't reply. He didn't _have_ a reply.

Slade actually chuckled and began walking in slow circles around the young Titan, who got the distinct feeling that he was the prey to Slade's predator. "Would you like to know what Raven thinks of you, Beast Boy? Would you like to know what all of your friends truly think about you?"

"Leave me alone, Slade," the changeling snapped, trying to sound forceful but even he could hear the uncertainty in his voice. This was reminding him too much of the time he had faced Slade alone before, in this very same room with the very same dread creeping into his stomach. "I know my friends."

"As I told you before, boy—it's your misconceptions that hold you back," Slade hissed. The older man gestured to the mirrors surrounding them. "Watch."

Beast Boy closed his eyes, adamant about ignoring what was being presented to him. Whatever Slade had to show him, he knew he didn't want any part of it.

Once again, however, the unexpected voice of a friend caused the young man to crack open an eye. From that point, he couldn't stop watching.

Starfire's image was on the mirror, and from the expression on her face, she was furious. Beast Boy was in front of her, looking embarrassed and apologetic. He appeared to be trying to explain himself but Mirror Starfire seemed too angry to listen.

"_On my planet, we have a name for those who do such terrible things. You are a clorbag varblernelk!" _The picture switched abruptly but Starfire was just as cold as she continued to yell at him. _"You are not funny. You are a clorbag varblernelk."_

The real Beast Boy flinched as the scene repeated itself. He remembered that time, when he'd accidentally hit Starfire with a balloon filled with oil. It was a prank gone wrong and the Tamaranean princess had been upset with him for a while. She'd quickly forgiven him once he apologized but that didn't make it any easier to see her angry visage again. Starfire rarely got mad at anyone but when she did, it wasn't pleasant.

Other images began to play on the mirrors circling the room. On one, a copy of Raven had just blown a plate of breakfast up in his face—Beast Boy remembered that incident as well, and even though he now understood why she had been so upset, some small part of him still wished she'd just realized he was only trying to do something nice for her—and on its neighbor, Cyborg was shouting at him after their first meeting with and only defeat by Jinx, Gizmo, and Mammoth. A second image of Cyborg appeared on another mirror but Beast Boy saw that the half-metal teen was still glaring at him.

"_Maybe you should go help someone else,"_ Mirror Cyborg ground out, pointing the changeling in the opposite direction of a singed T-Car.

That was the day he'd been kidnapped by Soto, and it wasn't hard for Beast Boy to recall the way it had felt to watch the earth get smaller and smaller as he was taken away. The others had shown up to rescue him, thankfully, and someone had made a joke about waiting to keep the changeling in suspense. Beast Boy remembered he'd laughed then but after seeing parts of that day all over again, he didn't think the joke—or the fact that it had taken them so long to find him—was funny at all. Why hadn't they come sooner? Surely they'd noticed he was gone…

_Or maybe_, Beast Boy thought sickly as he turned his attention to another mirror. _Maybe they didn't._

This time the changeling was watching as the team gather around Cyborg, who was strapped down on a table and babbling something about waffles to Raven. Starfire looked extremely worried and said they had to help their malfunctioning friend.

"_No problem,"_ Beast Boy heard himself answer. He was obviously anxious to help. _"I'll shrink down to the size of an amoeba, get inside him, and—" _

"_And then what—mess him up even worse?"_ Mirror Raven snapped. Beast Boy couldn't remember her ever looking at him with such disdain, and he suddenly wished he couldn't remember it at all. Seeing the expression on her face—on _all_ their faces, he noticed—was enough to make him feel ill.

Mirror Robin spoke up before Mirror Beast Boy could defend himself. _"Thanks, Beast Boy, but I think you've done enough."_

The changeling tried to keep the hurt from showing on his face by reminding himself that that they'd had a right to be angry at him—it was his fault that Cyborg had ended up like that, after all—but he hadn't meant for that to happen! Beast Boy would be the first to admit that he'd done something stupid that day but Cyborg was his best friend, and the green teen would never have intentionally hurt him! Why hadn't anyone realized that?

Another Robin appeared on a different mirror, and this time, there was a decidedly menacing expression on the teenager's face. _"I'm going to ask you to keep your voice down." _

Cold sweat was running down Beast Boy's neck now but he didn't even try to ignore this scene. It had been months since that night but the memory of it was still too fresh and stung too sharply for him to turn away. It didn't help when he heard Cyborg mention that the chemicals were causing his DNA to become instable. The changeling knew that discovery had been made—Cyborg developed a serum to calm the Beast using that knowledge—but he hadn't realized his team had known that night. He had been right there in the very same room but with all the effort he was putting into holding himself together, Beast Boy had barely been able to focus on anything else. He had hardly been aware that Starfire and Cyborg were in the room, let alone talking.

But Robin had heard, Beast Boy realized. Cyborg was speaking to Robin when he talked about the problems with the changeling's DNA—so why had the interrogation process continued? Why had Robin kept him locked in that chair and pressed him for answers when it was obvious that whatever was happening to Beast Boy wasn't his fault?

"_You need to tell me what happened."_

Beast Boy bit back a growl at his leader's tone. Robin had never spoken to a Titan like that before but then, he had never accused a teammate—a _friend_, Beast Boy thought bitterly—of being a vicious criminal before either.

"_I told you—I don't remember any of it,"_ Mirror Beast Boy said. His eyes were shut tightly and from the sweat gathering on his forehead, he was obviously straining to recall what had happened. _"We had that argument, I went to my room, I was angry, and then nothing. Claws…a scream…nothing."_

Mirror Robin's jaw clenched. _"Claws and a scream isn't nothing. What else?"_

"_That's all."_

"_No, it isn't. You have to focus. You have to remember!"_

"_I'm trying!"_ And he was. Beast Boy knew how hard he had tried to remember the events of that night just as he knew how difficult it had been to control himself at that point. He just didn't know why Robin hadn't seen it as well.

"_Try harder!"_ Mirror Robin snapped before bending so his face was directly in front of Beast Boy's. His voice lowered ominously. _"If you can't tell me what happened, I have to assume the worst. I have to put you in jail. You need to remember!"_

It was the threat of prison that sent him over the edge. Before he had been able to clamp down on the fury and hurt that sprang after Robin's threat, the transformation was starting again and Beast Boy had been helpless to stop it. "_I CAN'T!"_

"What an unfortunate incident," Slade commented. He had moved to stand beside Beast Boy again but it wasn't until the masked villain's hand grasped the teenager's shoulder that the changeling noticed their proximity. "Tell me, Beast Boy, did Robin ever apologize for that night?"

Beast Boy jerked away. "Stop it," he barked. "Just—stop it!"

Slade smiled. It didn't matter that his mask was covering is face—Beast Boy was certain the older man was smiling. "I didn't think so," Slade said. "And why would he? It's not as if Robin—or any of your friends, for that matter—holds a great deal of respect for you."

"Shut _up_, Slade!"

"Getting upset? But surely you realize you are being used?"

The changeling was shaking now, though with fear or fury he didn't know. "No! They would _never_—"

"The facts are right in front of you, boy! Even when it was clear that Raven was a threat to the entire world, the Titans remained at her side but the one time your loyalty was called into question, they turned against you. How can you believe they care about you when they obviously do not even trust you?" Slade had almost been yelling at the beginning of this statement but now his voice was low and almost silky. "You're a burden to them, Beast Boy. A troublesome, worthless burden that they would only be too happy to be rid of."

"LIAR!" Beast Boy's roar was loud enough to echo throughout the funhouse and drown out the angry voices of his teammates. Without thinking, he changed into a wolf and leapt at Slade, who easily dodged the attack. Snarling, the changeling reverted to his natural form. A strange, painful sensation suddenly appeared in his upper torso but anger made it easy to ignore the pain and focus his complete and furious attention on Slade. "You're lying, Slade! That's _not_ what they think of me, I _know_ it's not!"

"With the amount of evidence I have, there is no need to lie," Slade replied calmly. The images in the mirrors continued to play out as if they were movies but their voices lowered to the point that they seemed to be speaking in hushed whispers. Slowly, the sounds of the carnival began making their way back into the room. "And it's not possible that the moments you have just seen are a fabrication. How could they be, when they are your memories?"

"Wh-what? My…how? There's no way…" Despite his stuttered disbelief, the green young man knew Slade was right. A second glance at each mirror proved that those _were_ his memories playing out, and that knowledge was almost as agonizing as the burning pain in his chest.

If Slade noticed the changeling's growing terror, he ignored it. "I'm making you an offer, Beast Boy, one that even you are not so idiotic as to turn down. Join me. Allow me to teach you to harness the power you possess. With the instruction I can give you, you could be greater than all of them—Aqualad, Robin, Batman, even Mento."

Beast Boy's heart was pounding so fiercely and quickly he was certain he was only moments away from cardiac arrest. He wasn't sure how he could even hear Slade's voice over the blood drumming in his ears. "How do you know about Mento? How do you know about any of that?"

"Don't you understand, Beast Boy?" Slade was once again ignoring the changeling's near panic and question. Instead, the man continued to circle him, and as he continued to speak, his voice rose. "You can change yourself into any creature imaginable with hardly a thought. You've even become more animalistic during this conversation! With that kind of power, there is nothing you could not attain. Beings like you and I, Beast Boy—we are above the realm of mere humans. We are their masters. Serve me. Be my apprentice and everything you have ever desired can be yours."

"NO!" Beast Boy bellowed desperately, torn between alarm and anger. The fiery sensation on his chest grew stronger but he forced himself to continue shouting at his enemy. "I'm _nothing_ like you, and it doesn't matter what you or anyone else says! I'm a human, I'm a Titan, and nothing can change that! I'm not _ever_ going to be your apprentice!"

Then everything—the images and their voices, the room, even the distant sounds of the carnival—stopped and there was only Slade, standing next to him. "But Beast Boy," the masked man hissed into the boy's ear. "You already are."

Beast Boy pulled away but Slade and everything else, including the room itself, suddenly vanished, leaving the changeling in alone and complete darkness. The burning in his chest flared so painfully that Beast Boy cried out and glanced down to see if someone was branding him.

He wasn't wearing his uniform or any other clothes he owned. Instead, his body was clad in a strange black material while his gloves, boots, and belt were orange.

On his chest, above his heart, an orange S was fiercely glowing.

Beast Boy screamed.

* * *

It was a full six seconds after he had jerked himself into consciousness that Beast Boy realized that he had been asleep and that the shirt he was tearing at was the one he had worn to bed the night before. After frantically looking around, the changeling saw that he was in the top bunk of his bed, safe and sound in Titans' Tower. Light was creeping through his blinds, and from its insistent beeping, he thought that his alarm clock down on the bedside table had probably been going off for a long time now. Feeling around his bed, Beast Boy found one of his boots and dropped it on the clock, causing blessed silence to fill the room once more. 

Beast Boy sat up and rested his forehead on his knees, allowing himself to just sit and tremble. It had all been a dream. It wasn't real. Slade had never spoken to him, he had not been in the cave or the funhouse, and there was not a giant S burning into his chest. Inhaling and then exhaling slowly in an effort to calm his thundering heart, Beast Boy waited for the adrenaline and anxiety to fade from his bloodstream.

He barely held back a yelp when someone knocked at his door. "Beast Boy, are you awake?"

Beast Boy pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes, wondering of all days, why today had to be the one that Robin came looking for him. "Yeah, dude, I'm awake."

"Well, hurry up," the Boy Wonder called. "There aren't many waffles left, and you know Cy won't make another batch just for you."

Instead of doing as his leader said, however, Beast Boy flopped back down onto his bunk bed and buried his head under his pillow. The idea of facing his friends made the changeling's stomach twist unpleasantly and for a moment, he thought he might get sick. He couldn't deal with seeing the other Titans right now, not when the dream was so fresh in his mind and when Slade's words—"Would you like to know what your dear friends truly think about you?"—were still causing goose-bumps to rise on his skin.

"Beast Boy! Get up!" Robin almost shouted, a bit of exasperation bleeding into his voice.

"Actually, Rob, I think I'm going to skip breakfast today," Beast Boy said, once he finally trudged to the door. He noticed the shocked expression on his leader's face and hoping it was his words rather than his appearance that caused the alarm, he quickly continued. "I, uh, didn't sleep well last night. Nightmares, you know? No big deal or anything but they kept me from getting much rest. And I gotta get my rest, right?"

"Yes," the Boy Wonder answered slowly, watching his friend closely. Beast Boy skipping breakfast—or any other meal, really—was unheard of, and the strangeness of it obviously unsettled Robin. "Are you sure those nightmares are nothing to worry about? If they're causing you to lose sleep…"

"No, seriously, dude, it's okay. They're just…you know, about all the end of the world stuff," the changeling lied, praying he sounded convincing. His voice was steady, at least. "I think we're all having nightmares about that, Raven most of all, and last night just kind of sucked for me. I'll catch a quick catnap now and stop eating pistachio ice cream and tofu pepperonis before bed."

"Beast Boy, wait a second," Robin called out before the changeling could shut the door. The Boy Wonder actually sounded concerned. Beast Boy tried to focus on that, instead of the horrible suspicion that his leader was only pretending to care. "Are you _sure_ everything is okay? I know things have been...well, scary as hell lately, what with Slade going after Raven and the prophecy. We all have to take care of each other so if something's really bothering you, any one of us would be willing to listen."

"I know, Rob, but I'm good. Scout's honor," Beast Boy answered, putting on a cheerful expression. "I just want to make sure I get my beauty sleep. Can't disappoint the ladies, right?"

The small joke seemed to alleviate most of Robin's worry. "Whatever you say, BB. Just make sure you eat something before training today, okay?"

"Will do, Rob," the changeling replied and gave a mock salute before shutting his door. He waited until he could no longer hear the sounds of Robin's footfalls walking away and then leaned back against the door. He wanted to wait until his knees stopped shaking before he tried to make it back to bed. Although he doubted it, he hoped he would be able to sleep. The last thing he needed was to focus on that nightmare.

"It was just a dream, anyway," he reminded himself aloud. His legs felt steadier now and he pushed himself off his door to make his way back to his bed. "That's all. It wasn't real."

His voice remained firm but Beast Boy unconsciously rubbed at his chest.

The burning had yet to fade away.


	46. Talk

099

**A/N**: See? Just like I promised—it's July, and here's an update! It's a smaller one than I expected but the other two oneshots that were also supposed to be posted aren't ready. They're finished, they just aren't cooperating with the editing process. Give me a few days there, though, and we'll be golden. Also—thank you to everyone who has continued to review, even during my pretty much five month absence! I know I'm behind on those replies, but I promise, there's not doing to be a gap in updates like that again.

This oneshot takes place after _Titans Together_ but before _Things Change,_ and its idea I've been working on for a while, mostly because I really like Jinx (although she's not quite in-character enough, I think. Anyone know of some really good Jinx fics out there? I need to see some more characterizations of her) and I like having Beast Boy interact with her. Also, while I'm basically neutral when it comes to Jinx/KF and Cy/Jinx, I do lean a little more toward Cy/Jinx. I tried to stay true to the show here, though.

Finally, the song Jinx is singing here was made up by my roommate, Meg, and should be sung using the tune from Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out For a Hero."

Okay, I'm now off to see midnight showing of _The Dark Knight_! Happy reading and please review!

**Disclaimer**: The closest I'll ever be to owning these characters is if I actually work for DC someday. And, really, that's not very close either.

099. Talk

It probably wasn't his place to do this, Beast Boy thought as he walked up the steps leading to the roof. After all, whatever had happened between the two of them was their business, and common sense told him that he should not butt in to it.

Aqualad, who was following after the determined changeling, was also telling him that. "I'm serious, Beast Boy," the Atlantian hissed. "Don't involve yourself in this. It's for those two to work out, not you."

"But they _aren't_ working it out, and if someone doesn't give them a push, they won't," Beast Boy shot back just as quietly. The situation had been endured for over two weeks now but really, right now just wasn't the time or place for any sort of tension, not with the thirty or so honorary Titans who were still staying at the Tower.

And there _was_ an overpowering amount of tension between the two. After a few awkward and unsuccessful attempts to make peace, Beast Boy noticed that that one spent most of his time hiding out in the garage in order to avoid seeing the other. That was almost unnecessary because whenever he entered a room, she promptly left it—after throwing a venomous glare or raising a certain finger to him. Neither party was willing to talk about the problem any more than they were willing to talk to each other.

It wasn't just the two that were affected, ether, because the closeness of proximity forced everyone else to suffer with them. Robin's stress levels were soaring as he tried to think of ways to defuse the situation without causing massive property damage to the Tower. Raven was getting horrendous headaches due to the intensity of the apprehension and bitter feelings floating around. Kid Flash was trying not to take sides—he was just as clueless as to what happened between them as everyone else was—but the poor speedster often found himself trying to coax her into acting civilly while enduring a pair of brown and red eyes staring a hole into his back. No one was really willing to bring the subject up, despite being forced to walk on egg shells as they all waited for the inevitable explosion of pent-up emotion, and nobody was interested in mediating for fear of being caught in the cross-hairs of a hex or a sonic cannon blast.

It was all very frustrating to say the least.

And so Beast Boy had decided to take it upon himself to at least try to patch things up between Cyborg and Jinx. He enlisted Aqualad as his accomplice, despite the fact that the Atlantian was far, far less enthused by the idea of interfering with a situation that seemed about as delicate as a rogue match on an oil rig.

"That doesn't mean you need to be the one to give them that push," Aqualad whispered, glancing nervously at the rooftop door. "And why in the seven seas would you go talk to Jinx first?"

The changeling paused before opening the door to the roof to consider what his friend was saying. Perhaps it would have been wiser to confront Cyborg first, since the fact that they were best friends meant they knew each other better (and the half-metal man had never tried to kill him, either, but Beast Boy was trying really hard not to think about that) but Jinx had gone up to the roof about ten minutes ago. No one had followed her, and privacy was hard to come at the moment by so the green teen wasn't sure when he would get another chance to speak to her without an audience. Of course, he had no idea how to go about bringing up the problem—he didn't even know what to call the problem and doubted that 'suffocating teen angst' would get a favorable response—but something needed to be done.

"Because now might be the only chance I have to talk to her," Beast Boy finally answered, putting as much confidence into his voice as possible.

"But what if she hexes you?" From the look on Aqualad's face, however, Beast Boy figured _he_ wasn't the one the Atlantian was worried about.

"Dude, she's not going to hex me! She's a good guy now, remember?" The changeling glared, feeling a little indignant on Jinx's behalf. He didn't know her that well yet but the former HIVE Five leader seemed nice enough now that she wasn't trying to wreak havoc on him and his friends. "I don't know what _you're_ so freaked out about, anyway. All you have to do is guard the door and make sure no one walks in on the conversation."

Aqualad hardly looked convinced. "Good guy or no, Jinx is a girl, and things never go well for guys who mess with a girl's personal relationship. And plus, you're Cyborg's best friend! You've seen the TV shows—what happens when the best friend meddles?"

"Things go really badly—and then it turns out okay in the end," Beast Boy answered with a grin. Of course, that was looking at it from a strictly sitcom-esque point of view. Stuff like this rarely went as well on more realistic shows, like _Degrassi_—which Beast Boy would never admit to occasionally watching—but he tried not to dwell on that. "But look, if she does start throwing magic around and I end up as a toadstool, just go get Raven. She'll know some spell to fix me."

"Sure, she will—after she gets done putting a curse on _me_ for letting you do this," the Atlantian grumbled but reluctantly headed down to the foot of the staircase to keep watch.

Beast Boy watched him go before taking a deep breath and readying himself for confrontation. This would be okay, he decided. Even though Jinx had been one of the most enduring villains the Teen Titans had ever dealt with, she had never come off as particularly irrational or even evil. She'd always just seemed really focused and determined to meet her goals, which wasn't a bad thing…except when her goal happened to have been putting an end to the Titans, that is…

_But it's not like that now_, Beast Boy reminded himself. _Jinx is one of us. She's a _friend_—a friend that I'm still a teensy bit scared of but still a friend. And friends listen to each other. So, yeah, this is going to be just fine._

Mindful of the squeaky hinges, Beast Boy cautiously opened the door—and promptly wondered just what kind of chemical imbalance caused him to put himself in these situations.

Staring out at the bay and obviously lost in thought, Jinx didn't hear him enter. If she had, she probably would have stopped singing. "I need a hitman…he's gotta be fast, and he's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be armed with a knife…"

_Oooookay, that's definitely _not_ how the song goes. Maybe I should come back later, when she's not singing about hired killers…and when I have life insurance, _Beast Boy thought as he tried to back off the roof. Unfortunately, as he started to close the door behind him, the hinges decided to announce his presence with a loud, shrill squeak.

Both the changeling and the sorceress froze, one cursing his luck and the other stifling the urge to cast a curse.

"Wally, I've told you a thousand times—I am not going to disappear. Now if you don't give me five minutes to myself, I'm going to shove that rose so far up your red rear end that—oh." It was at that moment that Jinx turned to see her intruder was not Kid Flash. "Uh, Beast Boy. Hi."

The green teen gave her a sheepish smile while scratching the back of his head. _Great_, a little voice in the back of his head drawled. It sounded disturbingly like Raven. _On top of the we-used-to-be-enemies awkwardness that's going to hover around this conversation, she's not in a good mood. What a perfect time to convince her to confront the guy she seems to hate._

But it was too late to turn back now so Beast Boy tried to ignore the voice and pushed forward. "Hey, Jinx. Come up here to escape the huddled masses below?"

The pink-haired girl shrugged. "I'm not much of a crowd person."

"Ah," Beast Boy answered, not really knowing how to answer. He shifted nervously but was a bit relieved to see that she didn't seem to resent his presence too much. She hadn't asked him to leave her alone, at least. "Soooo…can I talk to you about something?"

"I guess." Jinx's reply was wary. "I mean, it is your Tower and everything."

"Yours too, now. At least until we finish building you guys a base." Jinx had only just accepted the offer to join a new Titans team that would be stationed in Star City but Beast Boy frowned when he noticed the look of slight discomfort that crossed the pink-haired girl's face at the mention. "You _are_ still going with Kid Flash to Titans North, right?"

"That's the plan." She caught the confusion in Beast Boy's expression and sighed. "Sorry if I sound a bit unenthusiastic. Things have been…weird lately. This isn't exactly where I ever expected to end up."

Somehow, Beast Boy doubted she was talking about the Tower roof. He tried a reassuring smile. "Well, we're glad to have you around."

Jinx smirked. "More like you were glad to have any reinforcements at all. I think your Boy Wonder nearly laid an egg when I announced I was interested in joining the good guys club."

Beast Boy snickered at the image. "That's just Robin for you, though. He's not a bad guy but he's always been a little uptight. It's something Star's working on. But, really, we are glad to have you on our side now, and it's not like we ever thought you were evil, Jinx. We fought you and everything but we never hated you," Beast Boy said earnestly. Once he saw some of the tension leave her face, he ventured a cheeky grin. "Plus, we Titans are always glad to have pretty pink-haired girls join us."

"You sound like Stone," Jinx informed him with a roll of her eyes. Her slight smile showed that the comparison wasn't a bad thing, however.

"Cyborg?"

Jinx shrugged. "You say tomato, I say tomate."

_Okay, she brought him up so now you just need to figure out a subtle way to lead into the conversation_, Raven's voice said. Beast Boy nodded to himself.

"So, what's up between you guys anyway?" he asked casually. It only took him a split-second to realize that just blurting that sentence out was not the best of ideas.

His Raven-voice seemed to agree. _Beast Boy_, it sighed._ That was _not_ subtle._

Still, the pink-haired sorceress didn't seem offended. On the contrary, there was only one change in her expression—her small half smile disappeared—but other than that, Jinx hardly looked like the question had fazed her.

"I hate him," she said simply.

"Oh." Beast Boy blinked. Not only had he not been expecting such a blatantly honest answer right off the bat but the changeling was also surprised at the certainly with which she spoke. "Um, seriously?"

"I would say I loathe him but that sounds a little too melodramatic for my taste," she said with a decisive nod but she was looking at him with mild suspicion now. "There's a particular reason you're prying into other people's business, isn't there?"

The changeling wondered if he looked as guilty as he felt. "Kind of," he admitted meekly. "See, dude, we're all in pretty close quarters here so when there's tension between two people, we all feel it, particularly Raven. She's been getting these really bad headaches lately, so she's even crankier than usual, and when she's crankier than usual, I annoy her even more than usual. And I've been annoying her a lot lately." Jinx was starting to look annoyed with him, too, so he decided to get to the point. "So, I was wondering—why are you so mad at Cy and could you maybe try to make up with him please?"

"Somehow, I doubt I have anything to do with you being a nuisance to Raven." The pink-haired sorceress narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "Listen, greeny, you seem like a nice guy, which is probably why you're up here—you want to help. But this isn't something you need to involve yourself in. So, don't."

Anyone else would have taken that for the dismissal it was or at least have steered the conversation to safer waters. Beast Boy, however, had long ago developed the ability to tell when a topic actually should be dropped and when a person just wanted it to be. It was one of his more frustrating qualities but it was also one that sometimes helped a situation in the end.

"I'm kind of already involved, Jinx," Beast Boy explained and quickly continued before she could get angry. "Cy's my best friend, and he's always been there to help me fix all the stupid stuff I do. I figure whatever happened between you two happened when Cyborg went incognito at the HIVE Academy, so if he did something then, I want to be able to help him fix it."

Jinx didn't even try to hide her skepticism. "He's your best friend—but you're already certain he's the one to blame?"

"Yeah, but only because he's a guy, and I've noticed we're the ones who usually mess up." Actually, Beast Boy hadn't noticed that but it seemed to be one of the universal truths in the world. Maybe Jinx agreed with that line of thought because she looked a little less defensive after he said it. He hoped that meant she would be willing to hear him out. "So, are you angry at the rest of us, too? We all had a hand in figuring out how to get into HIVE."

"If I was angry at all of you, I wouldn't have helped you guys with the Brotherhood and I wouldn't be here now," Jinx replied evenly. Maybe a little too evenly, the changeling noted. "I can understand wanting to infiltrate the Academy. Knowing what your enemy's doing is smart, and I can't blame you for it. It's only Cyborg I'm mad at."

"But…it wasn't even his idea to go. He didn't volunteer," Beast Boy told her. "_I _did but he didn't."

"That doesn't change anything."

"But, see, we kind of picked him to do it—"

"Did you tell him to pretend to be our friend?" Jinx demanded. Her calm composure seemed to be fading, and she cut off his attempt at an explanation. "Stop that, I know you didn't. So, there's your reason, Beast Boy. And you of all people, should be able to understand why I want nothing to do with that gigantic trashcan."

"I should?"

The pink-haired sorceress's voice became as pointed as her stare. "You know what it's like to have someone act like a friend and then sell you out to your enemy, don't you?"

A memory of blonde hair and a winning smile flashed briefly through his mind but they were quickly replaced by one of glowing yellow eyes and fire. It hurt, far more than he expected it to, and he shoved the images away. "That's not the same thing!" Beast Boy exclaimed.

"Isn't it?"

"_No_!" he returned adamantly. Shaken as he was by the comparison, the changeling was certain that whatever Cyborg had done could in no way compare to all that Terra did. "Jinx, it wasn't supposed to be personal—"

"It _was_ personal. He _made_ _it_ personal," Jinx hissed, clenching her hands into fists. The last bit of her self-control vanished as she continued speaking. "Look, greeny, I don't care that your buddy infiltrated HIVE or that he took out Brother Blood—I was never very fond of the place and I thought the old man was bastard. What pisses me off is that he spent the entire time faking friendship. He could have done his job just as well without acting like he cared. He could have just gotten our professional trust without making relationships and getting us to open up to him. But instead, he made us believe he gave a damn, and there's nothing fair or right about that."

"He didn't mean to—"

"That's bullshit," the pink-haired girl interrupted again. She turned away from him. "Sto—_Cyborg_ knew what he was doing. He knew he was going to betrayed us in the end but he still chose to get close to us."

Then Beast Boy understood. Maybe it was something in her tone or maybe it was just what she was saying but the changeling suddenly realized exactly why Jinx was so unwilling to forgive Cyborg. It was obvious enough, just a few simple pronoun changes, and the green Titan wondered just how dense he actually was to have not figured it out sooner. He would have laughed if her reasoning hadn't been so painfully familiar.

"He betrayed _you_, you mean?"

Jinx turned around so quickly that Beast Boy flinched and ducked, half-expecting to be turned into a toadstool. He was relieved when she just snarled at him. "I didn't _say_ that!"

"But I think you meant that," the changeling replied as kindly as possible. "You're upset because you think he never cared at all."

"I don't think that. I _know_ that," Jinx answered. "But stop trying to make it sound like I was in love with the guy. I liked him, sure, and maybe there was some attraction but that's it. It's not like he broke my heart."

"But he did make you feel special, didn't he? I bet he made you laugh. And he listened to you and actually _heard_ what you were saying, right? Like, other people would think your ideas were stupid and maybe they were, but he didn't act like it. I bet you told him things, too, and not about the HIVE or your other friends. Stuff about _you_, maybe even stuff no one else knew. Right?" Beast Boy asked but he didn't wait for her to answer. He had a feeling she wouldn't give him one anyway. "I'm sure Cy wishes he could take everything back. He didn't go in there intending to hurt you, Jinx."

"So, you think I should just be okay with what he did, just because you think he didn't mean to?"

"I think you should talk to him."

"No." Her voice was so defiant, it was almost fierce. "Fool me once, then shame on me. But I've never let anyone have the chance to fool me again. Cyborg's not getting one now. And I'm done talking about this."

Neither spoke for a moment, and Beast Boy was sure she wanted their awkward conversation to be over. She didn't want to talk anymore, and the changeling couldn't blame her. He didn't want to talk either, not when this entire conversation had opened up a few wounds he'd thought were long gone.

A few things still needed to be said, though, and Beast Boy wasn't one for leaving a job half-done. "Fine, dude, if that's what you want. That approach isn't going to work but I know where you're coming from. I get it."

"Hey, I said I'm _done_…what?" The defiance in the pink-haired sorceress's voice was replaced with surprise.

"Like you said—of all people, _I_ should be able to understand. And I do. I get it," Beast Boy repeated. He frowned and crossed his arms over his chest at her skeptical look. "What, you think you're the only person who's ever really, _really_ liked someone and gotten hurt? You brought up Terra so you have to know I know what that's like—how it feels like someone's trying to rip your heart out through your throat. How totally stupid and disappointed you feel, how you don't want to cry about it but you do anyway and hate that you did afterward. How you want to make that person hurt just as bad. I _get_ that."

Jinx looked confused. "So, now you're agreeing with me?"

Beast Boy shook his head. "No. 'Cause, see, with Terra…she meant to hurt us, Jinx. In the end, she came through and saved us, and if I saw her again, I'd want to be her friend—but I know in those caves, she _meant_ to hurt us." Jinx wasn't looking him in the eye or reacting to his words but he was certain she was listening. Shifting uncomfortably, he continued. "But just so you know…Cy cared about you. Still does. Maybe you're right and he shouldn't have gotten so close but I know he never meant to hurt you. You think that shouldn't change anything because he still did hurt you but it does. And he doesn't deserve to be hurt either. So…so, talk to him, okay?"

She didn't say anything, and after a few minutes of silence, Beast Boy figured she wasn't going to. Maybe he needed to stay and push a little more but the changeling didn't feel like he had the energy. He had expected the conversation to be emotional—he just hadn't thought he would be the one who walked away feeling so drained. Still, Beast Boy sighed quietly, hating that he hadn't been able to get the answers he was looking for, and began to move toward the door. He paused for a second to glance back at Jinx—she had gone back to looking at the bay and with her back turned, he couldn't see her expression—and it was only that slight pause that saved him from being smacked in the face by the roof door as it flung open.

"Hey!" he yelped, taking a few extra steps back. He was surprised to see both Aqualad and Raven in the doorway, and Jinx, having turned to see what the commotion was, looked surprised as well. "What are you guys doing here?"

The Atlantian looked around and seeing that everything looked normal, a sheepish expression formed on his handsome face. "Oh, uh…well, you were up here a while and then I heard raised voices so, um, I thought you might be in trouble," he explained, and Beast Boy huffed in exasperation.

"Dude! You were only supposed to get Raven if Jinx hexed me!"

Raven raised an eyebrow while a disgruntled Jinx put a hand on her hip. "You thought I was going to hex you?" she demanded.

"No," Beast Boy answered quickly. He pointed at the horrified Aqualad. "He did."

"Only because Beast Boy was messing with a touchy issue!" the Atlantian interjected, looking as if he really wanted to duck behind Raven. "I didn't think you'd appreciate it."

"I didn't appreciate it," Jinx replied, sending a glare to the changeling, who started to look just a little nervous. But a moment later, the pink-haired girl's expression softened into a slight smirk. "But…he had good intentions, and he made a good point. _That_, I do appreciate."

The green Titan beamed. Maybe something he said had gotten through, after all. "No problem, Jinx. Anytime."

"How about never again, greeny? Next time, I might not be in a listening mood," Jinx said but she was still wearing a slight smirk. It grew a touch wider when she grabbed Aqualad by the collar and started dragging him off the roof. "C'mon, 'Fraidy Fish, you can show me where the garage is. It's about time I had a talk with someone."

Raven watched the pink-haired girl and the Atlantian go before turning to her teammate. "Okay," she began in a rare moment of confusion. "Would you like to explain why I was brought up here?"

"Because I needed to talk to Jinx about something I knew she really did not want to talk about, and I was kind of afraid she'd get pissed off and turn me into a toadstool so Aqualad was supposed to go and get you if something like that happened, only he must have freaked out and gotten you anyway," Beast Boy explained cheerfully, still feeling particularly pleased with himself for having helped move Cyborg and Jinx in the right direction. "So, it was a false alarm."

The Azarathian's expression was still one of bewilderment and she looked like she wanted to question him further but after a moment's thought, she simply shook her head. "Nevermind—it's probably better that I don't understand. But why get me if you're turned into a toadstool?"

"Well, duh, Rae," Beast Boy answered as they started off the roof. "Someone was going to have to change me back, and you're the only other person who can deal with that magical hokus-pokus stuff."

"Perhaps, but what makes you think I'd change you back? You might make a good fungus, and you would certainly be quieter."

"Ah, you don't scare me, Rae. I know you'd miss me eventually."

"Eventually can be a very long time, Beast Boy…"


	47. Heart

**A/N: **It's been a little while since I've written something involving mindless fun (well, maybe not involving mindless fun but writing it at least was) and some humor (hopefully) so I thought it was about time I did that again. If this oneshot fits into continuity at all (which is kind of doesn't), it takes place before Trouble in Tokyo, and you'll understand why this prompt was chosen for this fic by the end of it, I promise. Or at least, I hope you will. It probably depends on how in-touch you are with the 1980s.

This was also written for (or because of) Menamebephil, because I owe him many reviews and because having Beast Boy sing seems to be a staple of his fics (which you should read).

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything involving the 1980s. If I did, I would want to own the Titans so I could make sure Beast Boy never had that awful mullet. Or did that happen in the early 90s? Bad, bad decision either way.

047. Heart

"And you are certain that this will work, friend?" Starfire asked quietly. She cast an uneasy glance from the kitchen, where she and Beast Boy were preparing to do dishes, to the Common Room. There, Robin was playing a video game.

"Yes, yes, I'm sure," Beast Boy answered impatiently as he fiddled with the boom box. Then a thoughtful expression crossed his face and he tapped his chin. "Well…mostly sure, anyway. But you trust me, right, Star?"

"Of course," the alien princess replied immediately but she still seemed tentative. "It is just…this courting ritual seems rather…unorthodox. According to the information I have gathered from magazines that appeal to females in the teenage demographic, if this method is used, it is usually employed by males. Perhaps Robin will not appreciate the reversal of roles, and I do not know what I shall do if that is the case. I would not like to suffer such an embarrassment, especially since I am still unsure of his feelings."

The changeling shook his head at her apprehension. Even he could see the little hearts that floated over the Boy Wonder's head every time Starfire was around. "Nah, Star, he's totally into you. We have zero worries there. But it's like I told you before—see, everyone knows you like Robin. And you know you like Robin, too. But Robin _doesn't_ know, just like you aren't so sure he likes you. He should know because we all know that he likes you, and I'm sure _he_ knows that he likes you. Or at least, he _should_ know that he likes you because he definitely does…"

Beast Boy trailed off, a little bit of doubt beginning to creep into him as he wondered if this was the best course of action to take. He didn't want to be wrong and see Starfire get hurt.

The changeling knew all too well that he was likely the most romantically challenged member of the Titans, a fact that Starfire must have been ignorant of when she had come looking for his help. He hadn't been sure what she meant when she came to him looking for advice about Robin, claming that _he_ was the most knowledgeable of all the Titans about relationships. Sure, Beast Boy enjoyed flirting with pretty girls just as much as Cyborg did but despite all his boasting and attempts at charm, he knew better than to believe he was any good at attracting the opposite sex. He had never even been on a date before (because that night with Terra only counted as something that hurt).

Still, when Starfire had showed up at his bedroom door yesterday afternoon, she had seemed very convinced that he was the only one who could help her.

"So, you see, friend, that is my dilemma. I enjoy Robin's company and, he enjoys mine as well but I would like to partake in a more intimate form of friendship with him. However, whenever I give even the slightest hint of my feelings, Robin is alternately receptive of or hostile toward my affections," the Tamaranian explained. She had just finished a very detailed narration of her feelings for Robin and her supposedly losing fight to win him over. "It is a most frustrating conundrum."

"Um…yeah. Sounds like it," the changeling replied slowly, feeling a bit overwhelmed. He, Raven, and Cyborg were very aware of the attraction that lay between the Boy Wonder and the alien princess but this was the first time he had ever heard one of them actually admitting such feelings existed. In fact, he got the feeling that this was the first time his friend had ever openly confessed of her crush to another person. "Star, we're not having girl-talk, are we? 'Cause I'm not a girl."

"Oh, I know," Starfire replied quickly.

Beast Boy nodded, feeling reassured. As long as they were clear on that subject, at least.

"It is for this reason that I sought you out," she continued. "I am in need of advice that I believe only you can give. I want to do the dating with Robin and I would like to know the best course of action to achieve this."

It took him a few seconds to process her request. He didn't feel any less confused when he did. "Wait, are you asking me how to ask Robin out? Star, I can tell you in absolute, complete, and total honesty that I have _never, ever_ thought about that."

"I know this as well," Starfire giggled in amusement at her friend's slight horror. "I simply wish to know how I should go about encouraging Robin to invite me to spend the boy-girl time with him. As you are my friend with the most knowledge in matters of the heart, I hoped you could provide me with an answer."

The changeling stared at her uncomprehendingly. Him, the most knowledgeable about love and relationship stuff? That couldn't be right.

"Are you sure Raven can't help you with this? Or Cyborg?" Beast Boy suggested nervously. "They might be able to tell you more than I could."

"Raven…in truth, friend, it has been many months since she and I spoke of romance. She has not been keen on the subject as of late, and I did not want to approach her with these questions," Starfire explained. "And it is true that Cyborg does much of the flirting but he is often the pursuer in these endeavors. I am not sure he could properly advise me in the matter of how a female should pursue a male."

Beast Boy wasn't sure if _he_ could properly advise her.

"Star, I really don't know. Girls usually…well, it's not like I've got rabid fangirls tearing at my clothes every time I go out." That was Robin but Beast Boy didn't think that reminding Starfire of that fact would be very helpful. "I really don't know what it's like to have a girl want to go out with me."

"Perhaps not—or perhaps not that you have noticed," the Tamaranian replied and her smile was a shade more knowing than the green Titan was comfortable with. "However, a most reliable source has convinced me that you are my best hope."

"Really? What source?"

"Raven has said that you were very supportive and considerate after her encounter with the traitorous dragon," Starfire answered, beaming at the changeling with obvious pride. "She believes that certain experiences of your own has made you empathize with others who have been through similar situations, and she remains grateful that you took it upon yourself to speak to her with such compassion, though she had not given you reason to be kind that day."

Beast Boy had been able to squash the spikes of anger and guilt that always seemed to run through him at the mention of Malchior quickly enough to comprehend (most of) what Starfire had said. "Wait—are you serious? _Raven_ actually _said_ that?"

"Ah...perhaps it is more truthful to say that she made an oblique comment pertaining to something of that nature that I was then explicitly told to forget and never mention to any soul, living or otherwise, at any point in time," Starfire admitted sheepishly. She noticed that Beast Boy had been utterly confused by her statement and hurriedly finished with, "But in this way, yes, Raven did say that."

"Okaaaay…"

Looking back on that conversation, the changeling still wasn't sure what she had been talking about—he simply chalked it up as another one of the mysteries of girl-talk—nor why it made him an expert on these "matters of the heart" but he had agreed to help Starfire get Robin's full attention anyway. It had taken a lot of courage for Starfire to admit as much as she had to him, and Beast Boy didn't want to throw that back in her face by refusing to lend her a hand.

And now, with his plan moments away from action, Beast Boy decided that this was not the time to start doubting anything. _Of course_ Robin liked Starfire. It was a fact—the sky is blue, the grass is green, and the Boy Wonder is completely gaga about Starfire—and Robin had always been good at knowing his facts.

"So what we've gotta do is make sure he gets that you like him, and that'll make asking him out all the easier!" Beast Boy made sure to finish his statement with a convincing amount of confidence and enthusiasm.

Starfire, however, still seemed more than a little uncertain as she watched the changeling clean off the bottom of a CD and put it into the boom box. "Nevertheless, I still fear I do not understand. Could you possibly speak with less ramblings and more cohesion?"

"Sorry, Star. What I'm trying to say is that if you really want our fearless-but-oblivious leader to notice you, you're gonna have to be more obvious about how into him _you_ are. Guys never realize it when a girl likes 'em—they make movies about stuff like that all the time," Beast Boy explained confidently. He doubted he was making any more sense than before but if he actually tried to think out a properly worded explanation, the changeling was certain he'd get confused, too, and then his idea would never get off the ground. "But you can't be _too_ obvious, you know? 'Cause if you are too obvious, the ball will start rolling too fast and Rob'll start over-thinking everything, and then you two will be stuck in the land of all-things-platonic forever because he'll be too busy worrying about every little thing to admit how much he likes you."

"I…see?" Her voice betrayed her and the changeling looked up to see that the expression on Starfire's face was somewhere between extreme bewilderment and alarm.

But Beast Boy simply grinned and patted her hand reassuringly. "But have no fear, m'lady! This little plan of mine is guaranteed to work—or at least to be a lot of fun. You remember what to do, right?"

The Tamaranian nodded, staring hard at the portable stereo and then glancing again at Robin. Her dubiousness appeared to fade but she still wanted to sure. "And forgive me for asking once again, Beast Boy, but you are confident this will produce the desired effect?" she asked and seemed to relax at her companion's firm nod. "Very well, then. This is the course of action we will take. I apologize for my uncertainty but I must admit—boys are very confusing creatures."

"Yeah, I know…but girls aren't all that easy to figure out either," Beast Boy informed her. He looked over his shoulder and saw that Raven was also in the common room, peacefully reading on the couch. He shook his head before turning his attention back to his lovelorn friend. "Like—why do girls think that running off to the girl's bathroom is the best way to hide from a guy? It's just a _door_. We may not be the brightest creatures on earth but we can open doors…"

* * *

High scores were not easy to come by in the Tower but Robin felt confident that he was only moments away from shattering Cyborg's _Super Slam Siblings_ record for good. Now that he had beaten the Snow Jumpers and Dunkey Kung, all he needed to do was get his character—he was always Commander Hawk, the mysterious bounty hunter from the old _G-Zero_ games—to the next level, fight those weird glowy guys, and then defeat the giant foot, and he would have the all-time highest score for the game.

If Robin had been anyone else, the loud music that suddenly started in the kitchen would have startled him. Raven had looked up in slight alarm and the heavy footfalls coming down the hall told him that Cyborg was on his way to see what the commotion was about but the Boy Wonder wasn't about to let himself get distracted. Not only had he been trained not to show any visible signs of surprise but the Titans' leader also remembered it was Starfire and Beast Boy's turn to do dishes and that the pair often enjoyed listening to music while they worked. They got a little loud sometimes but Star always seemed to have fun so Robin wasn't about to tell them to tone it down.

Less than a second later, however, Robin found that the song was actually very distracting. He'd recognized the tune—it was played pretty often on one of Beast Boy's favorite radio stations—but his head jerked in the direction of the kitchen the moment someone started singing. That was not the lead singer he was hearing. That was…

"Starfire?" he asked aloud, completely forgetting about _Super Slam Siblings_. He had heard her sing traditional Tamaranian ballads before but this was something entirely different.

If the Tamaranian had heard him, she gave no indication other than a slightly nervous smile. Still, she didn't hesitate to continue. "I've been lonely, I've been waiting on you, I'm pretending and that's all I can do. The love I'm sending ain't making it through to your heart…"

"You've been hiding, never letting it show. Always trying to keep it under controoool," Beast Boy added with gusto. From the humongous, mischievous grin on the changeling's face, Robin could easily conclude that the green Titan was the brains behind this operation. "You've got it down and you're well on your way to the top! But there's something that you forgot!"

Cyborg snickered and looked amused. Raven appeared to be somewhere between startled and baffled by the scene before them.

Robin got the distinct feeling his own expression had previously only belonged to cartoon characters.

"What about love?" Both Starfire and Beast Boy wailed plaintively. Neither seemed particularly bothered by the fact that they were exceptionally off-key as they sang into their soapy scourer brushes. "Don't you want someone to care about yoooou? What about love? Don't let it slip away-ay-ay-ay! What about love? I only want to share it with youuuuuu!"

"You might need it someday," the alien princess finished, suddenly looking very serious as she made eye contact with Robin, who swallowed hard. Had she been looking in his direction the entire time?

The second part of the song started and the two foam-covered Titans tackled it with zeal. Beast Boy even went so far as to air guitar up and down the kitchen during the brief guitar solo, a sight that Raven rolled her eyes at and Cyborg cheered on, while Starfire twirled in the air. The Boy Wonder couldn't dwell on that for very long, however, because he was now concentrating very hard on the lyrics to the song. There was no doubt in Robin's mind that the changeling had been the one to orchestrate this little show—and he was _so_ going to be spending an extra hour on his treadmill for it, Robin decided—but Starfire was willingly going along with it. Songs were like poems to her, and she always paid special attention to the words used, so she surely understood the meaning of what she was singing. And if she was staring at him the entire time, did that mean…?

Robin's cheeks very quickly matched his shirt. That was about as far as his analytical mind dared to take that line of thought.

The song was going into its final lines but Beast Boy seemed determined to do everything, including singing the small snatches of words that continued as the music faded away. "What about—what about love? What about luh-huh-huve? Oooohhoo—_mmf_!"

A black band of energy abruptly cut him off. Raven was rubbing her temples. "Okay, Michael, you're done."

Starfire was slightly breathless but looked extremely pleased with herself. "Friend Beast Boy, you were right! That _was_ most enjoyable! Now I understand why you so enjoy to imitate the-Artist-Prince-Who-Was-Once-Known-As-Prince-And-Then-Was-Not-Prince-But-Now-Is-Again while in the shower!"

Cyborg laughed and patted Starfire on the back. "Girl, you've got some pipes on you! We've got to get you to a karaoke bar sometime!"

Beast Boy made a muffled noise of enthusiastic agreement and Raven shook her head. "And Beast Boy will stay at home. Locked in his room. With a gag."

The alien princess giggled and floated forward to clasp Robin's hands. "Robin, I would most like to hear what you thought of Beast Boy and my performance!"

"I—" The Boy Wonder cleared his throat so he wouldn't squeak again and tried very hard not to think about how warm Starfire's hands felt, even through his gloves. Why hadn't he noticed that before? "You…um, that was really good, Star. I didn't know you were into that kind of music, though."

"Oh, I have only just been introduced to it," Starfire explained, gesturing toward Beast Boy, who was busily trying to pry the black band of energy from his mouth. Robin sent a stern look toward Raven, and with a sigh, she releashed the changeling. "I would like very much to hear more of it, though."

"Want to go get a few CDs, then?" The words were out of Robin's mouth before he even registered the thought, and it was only his extreme self-control that enabled him to hide his inward panic. But when he saw the delight on the Tamaranian's face, he decided to press forward. "We could go right now, if you and Beast Boy are done with the dishes."

"Don't worry about that, dudes," Beast Boy interjected with a grin that was slightly on the smug side. He rubbed at his newly-freed lips. "I'll finish up. You go on ahead."

Robin didn't have time to wonder about the oddness of the changeling actually volunteering to do a chore because Starfire was already tugging him away. He didn't notice even notice the green Titan sending the alien princess a thumbs-up to which she gave him a small, appreciative smile before she and Robin disappeared through the door.

"Y'know, grass stain, I'd normally make fun of you for knowing all the words to that song but that was pretty awesome," Cyborg admitted, staring at the door the departing couple had exited out of. The half-metal teen shook his head in wonder. "Weird as all get out, of course, but still pretty damn awesome."

"Dude, I _am_ pretty damn awesome," Beast Boy replied, puffing out his narrow chest and striking a triumphant pose.

His best friend snorted. "Keep telling yourself that, B. Now, there are several jokes I could make about the many different reasons _you_ might have to also sing that particular song in front of certain audiences," Cyborg grinned widely as the changeling went very still and Raven raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I don't know what—" Beast Boy began urgently.

"But I'm a nice guy and I won't!" the half-metal teen continued pleasantly as if he hadn't heard his teammate's slightly panicked tone. He couldn't manage to contain his grin, however, when the perplexity seemed to fade from Raven's face only to be replaced by an almost imperceptible widening of her eyes. "Have a nice evening!"

Beast Boy watched Cyborg make his way toward the basement before glancing at Raven. She had gone back to reading her book, indicating that she either did not understand Cyborg's loaded remark or she had attached absolutely no importance to it. He exhaled silently, feeling both relieved and disappointed.

"So, what'd you think, Rae?" the changeling asked, quickly hiding his mixted emotions. "Pretty good plan, huh?"

She still didn't look up but she did reply. "Beast Boy, what was that?"

"What was what?"

"That song."

The changeling grinned at the dark girl and waggled his eyebrows. "An eighties power ballads, baby. They solve _everything_."

"Do they?" Raven asked stiffly. She was gripping her book a little tighter than normal, and he noticed she seemed to be simply staring at the words on the page instead of reading them. Beast Boy found this sudden change in attitude puzzling.

"Uh, yeah. Sure do," he replied, trying not to let confusion mix in with the joviality in his voice. "Look at Star and Robin—we sing a song, they go out on a date. Well, I bet Rob won't call it that yet but it so totally is."

"That was why Starfire was singing, then? To inform Robin of how she felt?"

"Yep. I thought the message in that song was clear enough that even Mr. Anal-Retentive-and-Blind-to-the-Hot-Girl-Right-in-Front-of-Him wouldn't completely miss the hint," the green Titan explained, sounding particularly proud of himself. Of course, his victory was dampened slightly by the fact that he was also certain the message had been lost on someone else but he shoved that thought away almost as he completed it. It would have been nice if she had noticed but—well, at least he had helped out Starfire. That was miracle enough for tonight, he supposed.

"So she was singing to him?" Raven demanded, and Beast Boy was beginning to think if she stared any harder at her book, she was going to burn a hole in it. "The words in the song—they were meant for him?"

"In Star's case, yeah." This time he couldn't help the curiosity in his tone. Raven had exhaled slowly as if to drain some of the tension from her shoulders but her body language was still sending off all kind odd signals. "What's with all the questions, Rae?"

"Clarification." She didn't say anything else for a long time. Beast Boy figured their weird conversation was over, and he was about to leave the Common Room when her voice stopped him. "Beast Boy."

He turned. "Yeah?"

"…who were _you_ singing to?"


	48. Ends

**A/N:** I'm a terrible person for two reasons. One—I haven't finished replying to reviews yet but I will, because I love you reviewers. This thing just kind of begged to be written so what little time I've had between moving out of my mom's house and into my dorm has been spent on this. But, hey, two updates in a week? That's good, right?

The second reason is that I wrote this thing, though I don't think it's quite as sad as I wanted it to be. Maybe next time...

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

003. Ends

Beast Boy was looking for Raven.

He'd checked her room but she hadn't been there. The bed was made, too, which probably meant that she hadn't slept in it, and _that_ probably meant that, once again, she hadn't slept at all.

Beast Boy frowned. She hadn't been getting much rest in the past few weeks, not since the Titan's last fight with Adonis, and that couldn't be good for her. She was going to be too worn out to defend herself properly during fights, and he didn't want to think about what might happen then. Once he figured out where she'd gotten to, the changeling decided that he would go convince Robin to find some way to make the Azarathian sleep.

Only Robin's behavior as of late had not been any healthier than Raven's. He had started holing himself up in the Investigation Room again. He was searching for more leads on Adonis—who, after months of tireless searching, _still_ could not be found—and the Boy Wonder was digressing into the bad-tempered preoccupation that had marked his old Slade obsession. He only ate when Starfire physically removed him from the room, and he only slept when he passed out from exhaustion.

Actually, everyone seemed to be in a crappy mood lately, Beast Boy reflected sadly as he left Raven's room and looked in the kitchen, where she also wasn't.

Cyborg spent most of his time in the garage but instead of tinkering with the T-Car or some other invention, he would simply glare at some fixed point for long periods of time before suddenly getting angry and throwing something—usually large and expensive—into a nearby wall. After that, he would sometimes go back to glaring at nothing. Other times, he would talk to Beast Boy and tell the changeling how hard everything was now, how he didn't know how to make himself feel better and didn't know if he even cared enough anymore to feel better.

And sometimes—the worst times, Beast Boy thought with a pang—Cyborg would just sit back down and cry.

The changeling found his best friend's outbursts hard to take. They were just too disturbing.

Starfire was actually handling things the best out of everyone—she was at least remembering to sleep and eat semi-regularly, and she always fixed a plate of tofu for him—but even that wasn't saying much. She was having trouble staying air-borne, and her smile had become rare and dull, which was painful for him to see. Starfire's face was meant to smile, and when she didn't, nothing felt right.

Beast Boy wished his team would get themselves together. Acting like this wasn't doing anyone any good.

There wasn't a whole lot he could do about it, though—not that he hadn't tried but his ability to motivate or annoy people into doing things had been lacking lately—so he just continued searching for Raven.

She wasn't in the Common Room, the laundry room, the garage, the gym, or on the roof. He even waited a respectable time outside of the bathroom to make sure she hadn't gone in there without his noticing. There was only one place left around the Tower he could think to check, and he half-hoped she wasn't there. In his opinion, she'd been going out there too often, but if she was there, then at least he wouldn't have to go looking for her in the city. He didn't like doing that anymore. People would always bump into him without even noticing, which was depressing. He hated not being noticed.

Luckily—or kind of unluckily, because he really did think she was spending too much time out there, and she was only hurting herself—Raven was sitting out on their rock. He didn't know exactly when it had become theirs but he suspected it was some time after the Beast incident. Since then, he and Raven had spent a lot of time of that rock, and up until a few months ago—when Adonis had escaped from prison—they had been going out there together at least once a day. They would talk or watch a sunset but what Beast Boy had like most was that he could put his arm around her, and out there, away from anyone else's eyes, she wouldn't pull away. Sometimes, she would even lean into him.

That had been pretty nice.

It would have been even nicer if things could have stayed that way.

"Heya, Raven," Beast Boy said, mustering up some cheer as he sat down beside her.

She didn't answer him but that was okay. He had grown used to that.

They sat for a long while, both staring out at the bay. The water was calm, and the steady sound of the waves gently lapping against their rock was soothing. Beast Boy would have found himself at peace if a side-long glance at his companion hadn't caused him to notice that she had started shivering.

There were only two things in the world that could make Raven tremble like that. One was cold, and although it was an unusually cool winter for California, he doubted this had anything to do with the temperature.

"You should have a jacket on, Rae," he told her anyway. "It's forty degrees out here. You're gonna end up looking like one of those petrified Incan mummy dudes if you don't—"

"I'm sorry," she said suddenly, cutting into his feeble attempt at a joke. He turned to fully face her but she closed her eyes. He wished she would look in his direction but didn't know how to make her. "This is my fault."

"No, it's not," Beast Boy replied immediately. She was almost as bad as Robin about blaming herself for things that she couldn't have done anything about. "You did the best you could, Rae. And if anyone should be sorry, it's me. You guys are all mopey and depressed because of me, remember?"

"You should be here." She was shaking harder now, and her hands were clenched so tightly into fists that it was a wonder she hadn't drawn blood yet. "You should _be here_."

"Rae, I _am_," he sighed but knew it would do no good. This was an old argument, and he had no hope of winning it.

Especially since she couldn't actually hear him.

That was the biggest problem with being dead, Beast Boy decided. He couldn't do anything. He couldn't help anyone. He couldn't remind Robin that the team needed their leader. He couldn't pull Cyborg out of his funk and make him start living again. He couldn't get Starfire to smile or go flying with her.

And when Raven starting shivering because he wasn't there—and he _wasn't_, not really, not the way he needed to be and she needed him to be—to put an arm around her, the only thing Beast Boy could do was stay with her and wish he could do more than just watch her fall apart.


	49. Lessons

**A/N:** Consider this proof of life from a very apologetic writer. Life keeps getting in the way and being a college senior with a Departmental Honors Project is more than a little time-consuming. I'm still here though, and I have no plans to abandon my fics—I enjoy this fandom too much to do that. There will be updates, guys, even if it takes a long, long time to put them up. Maybe Santa will give me some inspiration for Christmas.

Anyway, this one takes place immediately after "Every Dog Has His Day" and I know Starfire's past didn't happen exactly like I present it here. I tweaked some things. My writing's a bit rusty so bear with me—I've been away from these characters for so long that it took forever for me get back into them (yes, I do nothing TT-related for a good six or seven months, and then I write something from the vantage point of the character I have the most difficulty writing. _That_ makes sense). As always, reviews are very much appreciated.

**Disclaimer:** No changes here. I still own nothing.

100. Lessons

Though she had lived there for several months now, Starfire was still very confused by Earth. The planet itself was simple enough—the amount of water to be found and oxygen levels in the atmosphere were average to all life-sustaining planets, the temperatures were endurable in most places, and though the fauna and foliage were different on Tamaran, she believed that both planets had an equal quantity of plants and animals—but she often found the inhabitants to be truly baffling. How could any people live in such a way that they often upheld ideals and morals that they themselves did not demonstrate? Children were taught that their inner beauty was of far more worth than their physical features, yet she knew that many humans used surgical modifications to force their body to look more attractive or younger. World leaders extolled peace with and tolerance of other nations and cultures while attempting to fill their armies with more machines of war and destruction than could be possessed by any other countries. Earth's history was rife with terrible things happening to good people while other humans either cowered away or took part in the wrong-doing.

At the same time, Starfire was certain that Earth was home to one of the most honorable, persevering, and gracious races in the entire galaxy. Humans had many faults, but she also believed that the majority of the population was good at heart. Her friends were constant proof of this.

Of course, this did not mean that the Titans were incapable of confusing her. She sometimes had difficulty understanding their colloquialisms and habits, but these were things that most everyone was willing to help her learn and therefore were hardly bothersome. Instead, what confused Starfire the most about her friends was their tendency to take things of great importance for granted. Humans in general were aware of this failing in themselves—there were many books, movies, and speeches on this theme, and there were many wise sayings about the consequences of not cherishing what is held dear—yet the Titans seemed oblivious, especially during moments where they should find the lesson most obvious.

Starfire had thought this would change after the incident with Warp. Her friends had been most concerned, and they had seen then how easily the loss of one could cause the destruction of all. They had vowed to make sure that the terrifying future she witnessed never came to pass, that they would protect each other and themselves even more closely, and she believed that they would keep their promises.

Or at least, she would—if they would only give her reason to.

"What an afternoon," Robin commented, falling back on the couch and running a hand through his hair. "Alien abductions, talking dogs, outer-space rescues—this was not the way I expected to spend my day."

"You said it," Cyborg agreed. He cast a glance down the hall Beast Boy had disappeared down moments before. "At least the little dude's okay."

"Thank X'hal," Starfire added. She didn't bother to hide the relief in her voice.

Raven took a sip of her tea and shook her head. She pushed a blank report into Robin's hands and gave him a pen. "Let's just fill this out as quickly as possible. I don't want to think about today any longer than is necessary."

The Tamaranian could not help but feel a little surprised by her friend's statement. Raven was usually the wisest of people, and due to her empathic abilities, she was able to understand and analyze what most would simply miss. While the rest of the team seemed eager to put the day's events behind them, Starfire would have thought the Azarathian would be the first to recognize how important it was that Soto and his near-abduction of Beast Boy be discussed instead of buried away.

"I disagree, friend," Starfire spoke up tentatively. She did not like differing from the opinions of her teammates but she could not bear the idea of letting this go. "Instead of simply writing down the factual events, I believe there is much we should reflection upon and discuss."

Robin looked up from where he had already started writing. "Like what, Starfire?"

"We were not the friends we should have been today," she declared firmly. They had all been too hard on their changeling. It was certainly true that Beast Boy could be a most frustrating individual. With his pranks and constant joking manner, he was sometimes difficult to tolerate and even harder to understand. But he was also—and most importantly—a good person and a true friend. Somewhere in the progression they had made as teammates and friends, Starfire thought that fact had been forgotten, and as a result, their changeling had almost been stolen away. "This mistake cannot be made again. We must be more watchful."

"We didn't make a mistake," Raven replied. Starfire's eyes grew wide but the dark girl either didn't notice the Tamaranian's shock or chose not to acknowledge it. "What happened to Beast Boy was coincidental. He just happened to look like Soto's lost dog. We did nothing to put him in that position."

"Plus, I don't think Beast Boy would appreciate us watching his every move," Robin added. He, however, did take notice of their resident alien's incredulity and decided to comment. "What's wrong, Star?"

"Our friend was nearly lost today yet you and Raven seem…unconcerned," she explained hesitantly. When the pair exchanged a look, her frowned deepened. "This is a misunderstanding, yes?"

The Boy Wonder scratched the back of his neck. "It's not like we _don't_ care about what happened, Starfire, but it's no one's fault that it did. Next time he goes out on his own, I'll insist that he take his communicator, but I think today was just a random event. I'm not sure anything could have been done to prevent it."

Starfire agreed that Beast Boy's abduction was accidental but she wasn't so certain that the situation had been unavoidable. The changeling had merely asked for their companionship today and had it been granted, then maybe Soto would not have mistaken the green Titan for his similarly colored dog. Instead of doing the hanging out with Beast Boy, however, they had given him angry words, and the alien princess shuddered to think that those might have been the last exchanges between the changeling and the rest of the team. She would not have been able to forgive herself if that had been the case, and it seemed strange to her that the others did not feel the same way. They were Beast Boy's friends as well. Did they not also feel it was their duty to protect and cherish him? Did they not realize how close they had all come to failing that duty?

"Hold up, y'all. Star's right," Cyborg said suddenly. He had been quiet for most of the conversation but then, he had seemed preoccupied with his own thoughts all evening. "Maybe we haven't been the greatest friends. I know he can be annoying, but I get the feeling that BB hasn't been able to do stuff with anyone his own age in a long, long time. Can't really blame him for wanting to hang out with us so much."

Robin frowned. "I can understand that, and I'm sure it's not easy being the youngest of us. But that doesn't mean we need to constantly entertain him. He's not a child, Cyborg, but he'll act like one if we treat him like one."

"I'm not saying we need to start patronizing Beast Boy. I just don't think we need to brush him off like we did today," Cyborg replied. "I mean, when we showed up to get him…did you notice how surprised he was? It was like he didn't think we'd come after him."

"But we did," Raven pointed out. She sounded annoyed, although Starfire wasn't sure if it was the implication that Beast Boy might have believed they would abandon him that bothered her or simply the conversation.

"But he didn't think we would," the half-metal teen countered. "There's something wrong with that, guys."

"Yes, there is. Beast Boy shouldn't have doubted us," Robin stated. Even though his words likely were not meant to point a finger at Beast Boy, Starfire felt a small stirring of anger at his declaration. "He should trust us."

"I am certain that Beast Boy has faith in us." The Tamaranian sounded only a little stiff but it alerted the others that she was agitated. "I just do not want that faith to be misplaced."

Raven put her tea cup down a bit harder than normal, which caused attention to be redirected to her. "This conversation is becoming pointless. This isn't a matter of trust. This is a matter of filling out a report and filing it away so we can get on with the rest of our evening."

Starfire eyed her teammate with intense disapproval. "I do not believe you understand the atmosphere of the situation."

"Star, that's not true. We care about Beast Boy just as much as you and Cyborg," Robin interjected. He smiled a little. "Raven's even admitted to thinking he's tolerable."

The latter comment was obviously made to ease some of the tension but Starfire found she did not appreciate such humor.

Neither did Cyborg. "I don't have a lot of friends, man. I can't afford to lose the ones I got."

"Nor can I," the Tamaranian added quietly. "And especially not to a life as another being's plaything. Have you not realized that this is what might have happened to Beast Boy?"

"Star, we never would have allowed that to happen—"

But Starfire shook her head. "There would have been little we could have done to stop it, had Soto left the planet before we invaded his ship," she said, knowing the others could hardly dispute this. She also doubted they would disagree with what she had to say next. "I have told you of the future where I was not present. I believe a world without Beast Boy would be equally unbearable."

Silence filled the room after that, and she looked at each of her teammates in turn. Cyborg seemed grow more pensive while Robin appeared suddenly conflicted, as if the thought of what would have happened to Beast Boy had their rescue been unsuccessful had not occurred to him. Perhaps it had not—the Boy Wonder was not one to think of the results of failure as he was rarely unable to accomplish what he set out to do. Raven's facial expression was blank which, while not unusual, was frustrating to the alien princess. She wanted to know what the Azarathian was thinking.

Starfire did not have to wait long to find out.

"You are missing the point," Raven said finally. It might have only been Starfire's imagination but she thought the dark girl's monotone seemed a little forced. "What might have happened isn't as important as what did. Yes, Beast Boy was kidnapped but we got him back with little to no damage to his person or the team."

The Tamaranian stood and began walking to the door. She did not know which she felt more keenly—anger or disappointment. "A point has been missed, Raven. But I do not believe it was the one you presented."

"Star?" Robin called after her, half-standing. "Where are you going?"

"To see Beast Boy," she replied shortly.

* * *

Beast Boy finished toweling his hair off in his room. He was wearing a pair of sweat pants and a simple white t-shirt. The clothes felt strange against him, as was usually the case when he wore anything except his normal purple-and-black outfit, but they didn't touch his neck, and that was all he cared about at the moment. After spending the entire afternoon wearing a shock collar, the idea of something tight around his throat, even something as familiar as the spandex of his uniform, was unpleasant.

_Don't know what I'll do if we get a call, though_, he thought, absently shaking the water out of his ear. _I can't morph in this stuff without shredding it and the tabloids would be all over the idea of a nudist Titan—_

His thoughts were interrupted by a hesitant knock. The changeling stared at his door for a second. The team rarely came looking for him—usually it was the other way around—and when they did, they weren't shy about banging. His surprise only grew when he opened the door and saw Starfire. Not that seeing his Tamaranian friend was odd in and of itself, but she usually seemed happy to see him whenever he appeared. At the moment, however, she seemed tense.

Although a little concerned, the changeling smiled brightly. "Hey, Star. 'Sup?"

"'Sup'?" she echoed in confusion. "Um, no, friend, I am not here to call you for dinner, although if you are hungry, I will gladly—"

Beast Boy chuckled, waving his hand to interrupt her. "No, Star, that was just slang. Like what's up, you know?"

She suddenly began to look nervous, which the changeling thought was weird. Starfire never seemed uncomfortable when talking to anyone, unless the conversation was with someone who made fun of her tendency to fumble with the English language. The team usually kept her away from those people, though.

"I…I am not sure how to start this conversation," she explained, fidgeting with her fingers. "Though it is very important to me that I have it with you."

"Uh, okay," Beast Boy replied slowly. This was getting stranger and stranger. Had he and Starfire ever even had a real conversation before? Sure, they'd talked to each other all the time but he could never remember it being about anything serious. She usually went to Robin for stuff like that but the green Titan wasn't going to put her on the spot by asking why she hadn't this time. "I'm all ears, Star."

If the colloquialism confused her, she didn't let it show. Instead her expression became a little more nervous. "I suppose the first thing I should ask of you is that you be completely honest with me. I do not mean to imply that you will not," she added quickly. "I have simply noticed that in regards to certain emotions, humans are not always inclined to speak truthfully."

The changeling sat on the small part of his lower bunk not covered in dirty clothes and old pizza boxes. "Well, yeah, I guess you're right about that. Alrighty, I promise that I'll be completely honest about whatever you ask me."

Starfire actually shuffled her feet, causing Beast Boy's confusion to grow. "I would like to ask: are you well?"

He cocked his head. Was that all? She'd made it seem like it was some big, important question. "Yeah, Star, I'm fine."

The Tamaranian did not look satisfied by this answer. "Perhaps I should rephrase," she said. "I meant, are you well in reference to the events that took place today?"

His unease quickly returned. He hadn't expected her to ask that, although given the day they'd had, it seemed like an obvious question. Still, the truth was that he wasn't sure how he felt about Soto's attempted abduction. He hadn't had time to work through the events in his head yet but he already doubted he was going to suffer any lasting trauma. There might be a few nightmares, and he was going to be a little wary of going out on his own for a while but that would probably be all.

"I don't know, Star. I guess I am. He didn't really hurt me, and you guys rescued me but thinking about what would have happened if you hadn't gotten there in time is kind of freaky," the changeling shrugged. Starfire didn't have an immediate answer and Beast Boy examined her closely. He'd seen her like this only a few times before, during the whole Red X fiasco and then again when Robin had been forced into working with Slade. "Are _you_ okay?"

The Tamaranian hesitated and then shook her head. "No. I am not. I fear this afternoon has unsettled me."

"Oh," Beast Boy replied because he wasn't sure what else to say. He could already feel an awkward silence settling in the room, though, and as one who never enjoyed such silences, he did the first thing that came to mind. He shoved the pile of clothes off the end of his lower bunk and patted the cleared space. "So, uh, you wanna talk about it?"

Starfire took a seat next to him and released a heavy but silent sigh. "I do not know about Soto's people but the collar he placed on your neck reminds me of things I do not enjoy thinking of," the alien princess began quietly. She glanced at Beast Boy. "Do you remember the day of our first meeting? When the Gordanians attacked this planet?"

"How could I forget?" the changeling grinned but his smile quickly faded when he noted the sudden sadness in the girl's expression. "Why do you ask?"

"The Gordanians place similar trinkets around the necks of those they capture. They also use electric impulses to force their captives into submission," the Tamaranian answered, hugging herself as if she were cold. "They perform experiments, and they do so without remorse, though many of their victims are often physically altered due to their torturous actions."

"Physically altered?"

Starfire nodded tightly. "Mutilated is perhaps a better choice of word. The worst known case of such atrocities was seven years ago, when the Gordanians needed specimens strong enough to withstand a dangerous, untested drug meant to enhance their military forces. The people of a nearby planet were known for their abilities to survive extreme physical duress, prompting the Gordanians to demand that the children of the royal house be delivered to them. An invasion was threatened if these requirements were not met."

Her expression was still troubled but her voice was oddly devoid of emotion. Beast Boy couldn't remember ever hearing her like that before. It was unnerving. "What happened?"

"The people were repulsed by such demands but the King was fearful of a full-scale assault upon his planet. He chose to give over his children instead. The experiments administered proved quite successful as the young ones soon developed odd…abilities. The King was deposed and exiled shortly after the agreement. He has not been heard from for many years, and it is widely believed that he captured by the Gordanians and then executed."

"Dude, that's…that's horrible!" Beast Boy exclaimed, though he was referring more to what happened to the children rather than to their father. He didn't know how to feel about the king. What kind of guy allowed his kids to be used as diplomatic pawns? Even Mento, despite all his failings as a parent, would never be that cold. "But the kids were saved, right? Someone rescued them?"

"There were many attempts to do so but no venture was successful. The eldest child eventually grew strong enough to escape, and she did so with her siblings. They returned home but the results of the experimentations could not be reversed so the children were left with enhanced fighting capabilities that made them quite powerful. The council eventually realized that the children could be a great asset to their planet's defense so they forced them to train with the most elite of warriors," Starfire explained quietly. She glanced at Beast Boy before staring down at the floor. "They were not allowed to be children again from that day forward. They accepted this but the security of a planet was a…difficult responsibility to be placed on such young shoulders."

"What happened to the kids after that?" Beast Boy asked.

"The council decided the oldest child should rule the throne, once she came of age. The youngest, a boy, was to learn to lead the army."

"What about the other one?"

The Tamaranian sighed. "The middle child was taught to both rule and fight, in case one of her siblings was killed or proved incompetent. The latter was a more likely occurrence as her older sister had…a habit of rebelling against authority figures such as the council," she continued, and Beast Boy noticed that a steely look replaced the sad one in Starfire's eyes whenever she mentioned the council. "Then one day, a group of rouge Gordanians attacked again, destroying a village of innocents just outside the capital city. The council did not order the army to retaliate for fear that it would incur the wrath of the entire Gordanian Empire, but she—the middle child—could not bear the idea of such cowards escaping. She gave chase."

Beast Boy watched her for a moment before staring at the floor as well, unsure of what to do. He knew a thing or two about being a kid with a job that most adults couldn't handle. He'd been a little over eight when he'd joined the Doom Patrol, after all. Still, he couldn't imagine being in the position of the kids in Starfire's story. The idea of a group of children being charged with the protection of an entire planet—that was just unreal.

But it _was_ real, Beast Boy decided with another look at Starfire, or his friend would not have looked so sad. The changeling had never considered himself to be the brightest crayon in the box but he had a feeling he knew who one of those captured children had been.

"She had to be a really brave kid to have gone after the people who hurt her so badly. I bet her people are really proud," Beast Boy said finally. He threw a companionable arm around his friend's shoulders. "But you know something? I bet her friends are even prouder just to know her."

Some of the sadness relaxed out of Starfire's face. She ventured a tiny, watery smile. "I hope that is true."

"Trust me, dude, it is." Beast Boy returned her smile and gave her another squeeze before letting go and standing. He motioned toward his door. "Enough sad stuff, though. C'mon—it's about dinner time, and I bet if _you_ ask him, Rob'll let us have a movie night instead of evening training."

Starfire got up as well but caught his arm. "Wait, friend. I want you to know why I told you the story." She looked down at the floor again but this time instead of sad, her gaze was full of guilt. "Today, I feared that you would also become another being's captive. You did not and I am glad—but I am also sorry."

"Sorry?" Beast Boy repeated, cocking his head in confusion. "Why?"

"I spoke unkindly to you this afternoon, and then I was not there to aid you."

The changeling blinked at her before laughing. "No way, Star! It totally wasn't your fault! How were you guys supposed to know some alien dude was going to lose his talking green dog and accidentally pick me up instead?"

Starfire shook her head. "Be that as it may, it does not excuse my behavior prior to your capture."

He waved her off. "Ah, I don't blame you guys for getting annoyed. I know I can be pretty needy sometimes. Too much of the time, probably," Beast Boy said with a grin but Starfire did not return it.

"You are our friend, Beast Boy, and in my experience, friends are often in need of each other. There is no shame in that. There is only sorrow when that is forgotten."

She was looking sad again. He didn't want that. "Yeah, maybe. But see, we Titans don't have to worry about that, Star, because we have you around to make sure we don't forget it. And c'mon, you have to admit—I shouldn't bug the team to do stuff with me _all_ the time, right?" Beast Boy paused for a moment, with an expression of exaggerated thoughtfulness. "Except Raven. She _needs_ to be bugged."

Starfire finally smiled before pulling Beast Boy into an abrupt hug.

"You are a strange person, friend," Starfire told him as she gave him a tight squeeze. "But I am very glad to have met you."

"Ditto, Star." Beast Boy meant it but when his agreement made the Tamaranian hug him all the closer, he had to swallow a choking noise. "But, um…could you let go?"

She did with a sheepish giggle, and he decided to refrain from rubbing his ribs in case it put that sad look back on her face. The pair then left Beast Boy's room. The changeling had been right when he'd said it was close to dinner time. He was right again when Robin allowed the team to skip evening training in favor of spending a few hours watching movies together.

* * *

Dumping Silkie's food into his dish, Starfire had to admit that an evening spent in the company of her teammates had greatly relieved her fears that the team had not taken Beast Boy's abduction seriously. After promising to show the green Titan how some of the more complicated tools in the garage worked, Cyborg had both cooked Beast Boy's tofu dinner for him and allowed to changeling to choose which movies they would watch. Then, before retiring to bed, Robin had come forward and apologized for not only brushing the changeling off but also for taking so long to help him.

"It's the second time this team has taken friendship for granted, and that's two times too many, especially when we should all be aware of just how alone we would be without each other," Robin said. "Believe me, Beast Boy—it's not going to happen again. I'm sorry it did at all."

The changeling looked momentarily shocked—he could hardly be blamed since it was not often that the Boy Wonder apologized to anyone—before breaking into a grin. "Guys, _seriously_, don't worry about it. It's nobody's fault," he said. "But, hey, I'm sorry for being such a pain earlier. I'll work on it, okay?"

They had all parted with smiles and good feelings—except for Raven, who had been quiet all evening. This was hardly unusual as the empath had never been a talkative person but Starfire believed that tonight, there was an increased distance in her friend's silence. Raven had been almost cold in her detachment to the team and though the Tamaranian had hoped her friend would also make some gesture of reconciliation toward Beast Boy, this had not come to pass. Starfire tried not to feel too disappointed—after all, Raven might have been raised by Azarathian monks but she was far more human than she allowed herself to believe, and humans were often guilty of not understanding a person's importance until they were lost. Beast Boy did not seem to notice, at least.

"Or perhaps he simply did not expect a display of camaraderie and appreciation from Raven," Starfire sighed, scratching Silkie beneath his chin. The larva warbled appreciatively. "What do you think, my little bumgorf?"

"Probably what I think," a gravely voice chimed in. The Tamaranian glanced back to see Raven standing in the kitchen doorway. "That Beast Boy didn't expect it."

Starfire stood with a guilty expression. "Forgive me, friend. I did not realize you were there."

Raven nodded but didn't comment. Instead, she addressed another concern. "You know I find Beast Boy difficult to understand, Starfire. Most of the time, he irritates me more than anything else," she said slowly, as if unsure of how to begin her explanation. Still, Starfire preferred uncertainty to defensiveness.

"Perhaps. But he is also your friend."

"I was just trying to be practical."

There was a little disappointment in Starfire's expression as she gave Silkie a final tickle and stepped around the other girl. "If that is what you say, then I shall believe you."

"Starfire," Raven called, causing the alien princess to turn back to her. "I would care, you know. If something happened to him."

The dark girl's expression was hidden by her cloak but even without seeing her friend's face, Starfire knew that such an admission had been difficult for Raven. With that thought in mind, the Tamaranian allowed a smile to grace her face.

"I am glad to know that, Raven," she said and resisted the urge to wrap the other girl in a hug. She settled on giving her an affectionate pat on the hand. "And maybe someday, you will let Beast Boy know as well?"

"You think he doesn't?"

"You make it difficult to tell for certain, friend," Starfire explained gently. "But I _do_ believe he knows. Would it be so terrible, though, to tell him this?"

"I told him he was funny once. Look how that's turned out," Raven grumbled before entering the kitchen, and Starfire figured the conversation was over but she continued to smile as she made her way to her room. Raven wasn't ready to fully admit her attachment to her friends, and perhaps it would be several years before she felt comfortable enough to do so.

This was fine, Starfire decided. She would be patient.

She had a feeling Beast Boy would be, too.


	50. Rain

**A/N**: This really wasn't supposed to be the fiftieth update of this fic (and let's all take a moment to be shocked and awed _The Green Files_ has made it this far). I've been trying to write out a chapter that's a little different than anything else I've tried but it's been two months and the damn thing's still not ready. That particular addition will come, obviously in its own time, but this one has a little bit of humor and fluff.

I'd also like to thank all of the reviewers, especially those who've been reading this fic for a long time. It's been about four years, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate the support and encouragement. It's been a fun ride, guys, and there's still another fifty prompts to get through. I'm going to make the best of those!

**Disclaimer**: As repetitive as these have become, I think it's been well established that I do not own TT.

066. Rain

Beast Boy didn't care what the rest of the world thought—Robin wasn't so smart. Actually, in the changeling's opinion, the Boy Wonder was an idiot.

He would have to be, to ask him to share a tent with Raven.

"What?" Raven demanded icily after Robin informed them of the sleeping arrangements.

Their leader held up his hands in a placating gesture. "It's only for one night," Robin assured them. "The next campsite actually has a cabin so we'll all have our own bunks, then."

Beast Boy hardly felt appeased, and from her venomous glare, he doubted Raven was, either.

"Why can't I just share a tent with Cy?" Beast Boy asked.

"Because I had to bring some of my equipment out here, and I need all the room I can get," Cyborg interjected from where he was setting up his large tent. He had already put up another pair of smaller tents, which Beast Boy figured would be the ones they would use.

"Then I can share one with Starfire, while Robin and Beast Boy take the other," Raven said. She eyed the other tents. "And are you certain those are meant for two people?"

"Yes, those are tents for two, and…uh…" Robin paused to cast a quick glance at the Tamaranian, who was happily bringing an armful of large logs back into the campsite. "Star is sleeping in my tent."

There was a brief silence after that. Beast Boy, though his jaw dropped slightly, had to give Robin some credit—the Boy Wonder had actually managed to say that without blushing. Cyborg disguised his snicker as a particularly hacking cough. Raven merely raised an eyebrow.

Still, Robin did sound a little beseeching as he continued. "Listen, I know you two haven't been getting along well lately but think of this as—"

"Hey, we get along!" Beast Boy interrupted indignantly. He turned to his dark teammate for support. "Right, Raven?"

The Azarathian gave him a stare that—in Beast Boy's opinion, at least—was just a little too blank.

The changeling swallowed a frustrated groan but reminded himself that her attitude wasn't a big deal. It wasn't as if he and Raven disliked each other. Sure, things had been a little strained between them lately, and it was taking less and less to set each other off but Beast Boy figured it had to do with of the influx of criminal activity in the last few months. The constant stream of attacks had put the entire team on edge, so it was hardly any wonder that Beast Boy and Raven had been arguing a little more frequently than usual.

Of course, Starfire and Cyborg sometimes hinted that there might be other reasons for the tension—they had both spent the last month looking between Raven and him with these looks of dawning comprehension, obviously suggesting they knew something he didn't, and the changeling had never before felt so out-of-the-loop—but Beast Boy honestly couldn't imagine anything else being wrong. They were stressed, that was all, and stressed people had a tendency to get angry and yell a lot of things they didn't actually mean.

"Besides, if there was something else going on, Raven'd let me know," Beast Boy had informed them after being cornered one evening. He'd sent a desperate glance toward Robin, but the Boy Wonder had vacated the kitchen quickly enough to make the changeling suspicious. Maybe Cyborg and Starfire weren't the only ones who thought something was up with him and Raven.

"But perhaps Raven is hoping that _you_ might notice something?" Starfire replied.

Cyborg nodded. "Yeah, BB. Maybe she wants you to _pay attention_ to a few things?"

They were trying to lead him somewhere with all this, he understood that. He just hadn't known where that was. "Notice things?" He'd asked, trying to think of some specific detail Raven would want him to pay attention to. "Uh, did I forget to put the seat up again?"

"Ah…no, friend."

"Think a little more personal, man."

So, he did. He knew hadn't missed her birthday—he knew that date by heart, thanks to the time he'd spent hacking into her file before her sixteenth birthday—and it wasn't like she celebrated any strange Azarathian holidays the way Starfire did. Beyond that, Raven was normally frank with him. If she wanted him to know something, she simply told him, mostly because she knew how bad he was at picking up subtitles. Hell, he'd even pronounced the 'b' in subtle until Robin had taken pity on him and explained that it was silent (which had also explained why Cyborg laughed and Raven smirked whenever he said the word).

His prompters saw that he was struggling. "Maybe it has something to do with the way you've both been acting lately?"

"You mean the way she's been running hot and cold on me?"

It was true. For months now, the Azarathian had been at turns indifferent and open toward them, and he couldn't quite figure out why. There were days when she went out of her way to spend time with him, even going so far as to accompany him into the city on a comic book run or letting him teach her how to make tofu curry. Sometimes, she even invited him places, and even if her book stores and coffee houses weren't really his thing, he hadn't minded going with her because he really liked hanging out with her. Raven was always as sarcastic as ever, but she never even tried to hide the fact that she was enjoying being with him. Instead, she seemed almost…affectionate toward him, he supposed, which he'd liked. A lot.

Other times, though, she seemed to be resisting the urge to either send him to another dimension—like when that Flame Bird chick had flirted him, and Raven had looked pissed and grumbled something about him having an idiotic propensity for blondes, even after he tried to explain he barely even knew her and had only been trying to make conversation—or she ignored his existence entirely. She never really explained why she would get so infuriated with him and in fact, would even more irritated when he'd ask.

"Something like that," Cyborg confirmed.

"How does that make you feel?" Starfire asked.

"Confused," Beast Boy had answered promptly. He'd also thought about asking if Raven's weird emotional rollercoaster had anything to do with a certain time of the month, but then he remembered the time Cyborg had calculated that particular week and marked it on the calendar—he had, in complete seriousness, written out 'attack of the red dragon' in similarly colored ink and block letters—as a warning to the other male occupants of the Tower. Of course, it hadn't been long before Starfire and Raven to discover and decipher the notice, and the Tamaranian and the Azarathian had been livid. It was actually the first time he'd ever seen Raven throw someone out a window who wasn't him.

He decided that wasn't a conversation topic to bring up again.

"Look, you guys're trying to tell me something, right?" They nodded encouragingly. "Why don't you just tell me?"

He had thought he was being practical. And then he'd noticed Cyborg and Starfire exchanging looks, and this time, there was no emerging realization in their expressions. They'd just seemed frustrated and wouldn't him why.

_But still_, the changeling getting back to the present and trying to reassure himself. He saw no reason for his leader to say that he and Raven weren't getting along anymore. Things were a little tense sometimes, but he knew none of that changed the fact that he and Raven cared about each other. They were friends. In fact, on most days, Beast Boy wouldn't hesitate to call them close friends.

However, on most days, they weren't tired and sweaty from hiking a ten mile trail carrying large packs because a backpacking trip in the middle of the National Redwood Forest was the Boy Wonder's idea of a mini-vacation (though, apparently, the fact that everyone except Starfire considered this another form of training completely escaped him). On most days, they were not forced to live off of granola bars, water, and packed sandwiches, and to go without showers.

And most importantly, on most days, they weren't being asked to share exceptionally small sleeping spaces.

"It's just for one night?" Raven asked suddenly, removing Beast Boy from his thoughts.

"Only one," Robin replied, sounding just a tad too relieved for the changeling's taste. "And we'll be getting up early tomorrow morning."

The Azarathian seemed to consider this for a moment longer before speaking again. "Fine," she said, not bothering to even look at Beast Boy. "This is…_extremely_ uncomfortable, but I can manage for one night. He can stay on his side, and I'll stay on mine."

Without another word to either boy, she went to help Starfire start a fire. Beast Boy watched after her. "Dudes, what is _up_ with her?" he demanded.

The response was less than helpful. Cyborg gave an amused snort. Robin looked faintly apologetic. Even Starfire, looking at him over her shoulder, sent him a tiny, pitying shake of her head. Raven continued to ignore him.

Beast Boy went to bed that night feeling slightly doomed.

* * *

The changeling didn't know how long he'd been asleep. The only thing he did know was that his head was very suddenly wet.

"Aw, crap!" he hissed, quickly sitting up and trying to shake the water from his hair without waking Raven. He could feel some tiny rivulets running down the back of his neck and wetting the shoulders of his shirt, and he gingerly touched the top the tent. It felt cool and slightly damp, letting the changeling know that it had probably rained a little while ago, but no water was seeping through.

The floor, however, was a different story. Once his eyes adjusted, Beast Boy saw that a rather large puddle had formed on his side of the tent, soaking his pillow and part of his sleeping bag.

"Rae?" he whispered. She didn't move. He cleared his throat before trying again. "Hey, Raven?"

She stirred at little and the slightest of annoyed expressions came to her face but her eyes stayed shut. Beast Boy sighed. He'd always imagined her as a light sleeper.

"Rae, wake up!" Beast Boy called as loudly as he could without his voice carrying to his other teammates.

"I _am_ awake, Beast Boy," Raven snapped, finally opening her eyes. "What is it?"

That was a good question, and the changeling wondered exactly _why_ he'd woken her. It wasn't like she could do anything about the water, and there wasn't enough room for her to give him any more space. "Um, I think it must have rained 'cause I'm in a puddle over here," he explained sheepishly, hoping she wouldn't get angry.,

The dark girl gave him an unreadable look before rolling over to face away from him. Or, at least, she tried to. The tight sleeping bags restricted movement. "So, move closer to me."

It was a good thing she'd turned away. The changeling doubted she would have appreciated him gaping at her as if she had just grown a second head, a tail, and sparkly pink wings. Actually, that might have been less of a surprise. "Huh?"

"You have superb hearing, Beast Boy," Raven said, and even though her sleeping bag was around her, he could see how rigid she was. "I don't need to repeat myself."

Maybe she did, because he was replaying what she'd said in his head and it still didn't make sense. Earlier she had barely been able to stand the idea of sharing a tent with him—and now she was willing to share her warmth? The girl was easily the biggest enigma he'd ever met, and he had long ago accepted her idiosyncrasies, but this was the first time she had invited him into her personal space. Sure, she'd hugged him that one time, but she hadn't been receptive of any of his attempts since.

"Um, you know what? I'm just going to go hang out by the fire and wait for my stuff to dry." He gave her a few seconds to answer but wasn't too surprised that she didn't.

Beast Boy sat heavily on a damp log and stared into the pile of wet ashes that had earlier been a cheerful blaze. He should have known the rain would put out the fire, too. Someone had left one of their camping lamps out, and when Beast Boy leaned over to switch it on, it surprisingly still worked, though barely. It wasn't providing much light, and it definitely wasn't doing much to dry him off. He wished he'd thought to sleep in something warmer than just a t-shirt and pajama bottoms, but it was summer, and Robin had said they wouldn't have to worry too much about getting cold. Of course, Robin had also figured on spending the night curled up with Star, which was what had put Beast Boy into this awkward position with Raven in the first place…

The changeling's thoughts were interrupted a few moments later by a zipping noise and then Raven crawled out of the tent. Beast Boy watched her, noting that she was also in a simple shirt and pajama bottoms but was carrying a light blanket with her as well. She draped it around her like her cloak and trudged to sit next to him on the log.

He continued to look at her. Wrapped up like she was with her hair mussed from sleep and her muddy boots poking out from underneath the blanket's edge—the image made him give a tiny smile. It was weird but even with the scowl on her face, Beast Boy couldn't help but think that Raven looked kind of cute.

It didn't take her long to notice he was watching her, however, and when she turned her gaze to him, she didn't look happy about it. "What?" she demanded.

_Yeesh__, grumpy much?_ Beast Boy thought but wisely kept that comment to himself. "Nothing," he answered neutrally. "Just wondering why you followed me."

"There's water on my side, too," she explained moodily.

"Oh." He didn't remember any being there but wasn't about to question her.

An awkward silence stretched between them. Raven looked like she hardly minded—she probably didn't, quiet was kind of her thing—but it weighed heavily on Beast Boy. He only managed a few minutes before cracking.

"At least you can really see the stars out here," Beast Boy commented, tilting his head back. He cast a quick, hopeful glance in Raven's direction and was relieved to see her looking as well.

The sky was filled with stars, and the changeling couldn't remember seeing a sight like this since he was a kid in Africa. On clear nights, his parents had always liked to watch the sky, and Beast Boy had often joined them. They made a game out of it, seeing who could find the most constellations and who would be the first to see a shooting star. His mother always told him to make a wish when they finally found one but he never had. Back then, he hadn't thought there was anything he needed to wish for.

His teammate nodded. "They're beautiful."

"Yeah," the changeling agreed. This was progress. She might still have been annoyed, but at least she wasn't giving him the silent treatment. "And, hey, look—there's the North Star."

Raven stared but shook her head. "I don't see it."

"Right up above us. See?"

"No."

Beast Boy pointed again, looking at her to make sure she was following his directions. He thought that the North Star was connected to some constellation but he couldn't remember which one and could only locate it due to the memory of its brightness. "Raven, it's right there."

"Where?" She demanded, frustration creeping into her voice.

Beast Boy was feeling a little irritated himself. "There! Right up there in front of your face!"

The Azarthian was either more tired than he had previously thought or was spiraling once again into a mood that might lead her to ignore her pacifist up-bring and slap him upside the head. "Beast Boy, 'right up there' happens to be an inestimable amount of stars! Be more specific!"

"It's the really shiny one!" the changeling exclaimed. He almost asked his teammate if _all_ girls had tempers like this, but upon noticing the incredulous expression on her face, he decided it was probably in his best interest to stick to the subject.

"…you're kidding me, right?"

"What?"

"They're stars! They're all shiny!" Raven exploded in exasperation.

"But this one is _really_ shiny!" The changeling honestly didn't know how else to describe it to her.

Raven huffed. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I do, too! My dad taught me!" His sharp assertion caused his dark teammate to fall silent. "It's easy to get lost in Africa but no matter where you are on the planet, the North Star is always in the same place. As long as I knew which direction the place I wanted to go was, I just had to find the North Star and I could get to where I wanted to go. So I _do_ know what I'm talking about and if you can't see it, it's not my fault."

Neither of them said anything. It was the most uncomfortable silence he could remember sharing with Raven in a long time but Beast Boy was determined not to break it this time.

Ten minutes passed before Raven decided to. "If we can't talk civilly, maybe we shouldn't."

"Whatever."

"Fine."

"Fine," Beast Boy echoed crossly. Moving so to another log so that there was about six feet between them, he plopped himself unceremoniously on the ground and turned his face away from her. After a few minutes, a breeze picked up and the changeling shivered as he realized for the first time that the temperature had dropped significantly since they had gone to bed a few hours ago. The fact that the rain—which, along with Robin, he _completely_ blamed for his current predicament—had effectively put out the fire didn't help matters much. Pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them, he tried to conserve as much body heat as he could, and his frustration only lasted for a few more seconds as he wondered if Raven was cold as well. Her blanket seemed to be pretty light, and after a quick glance in her direction, he saw that she was wrapped up in it but doubted she was actually very warm.

"Hey, Rae…you're not cold, are you? 'Cause I can morph into a bear or something—"

"I'm fine," she interrupted shortly.

Beast Boy frowned. "But that blanket—"

"Is made from the same material as my cloak so it's quite warm," Raven finished for him. She was still being pretty curt with him so Beast Boy doubted she wanted to talk to him any more.

_And that's fine with me, _he thought as his previous indignation returned. He was just as tired and frustrated as she was and since his shirt was still a little damp, he was even colder than she was. But at least he wasn't taking it out on anyone. Their situation was a pain in the ass—literally, because the ground was really hard, and even though his butt was beginning to go numb, he was still uncomfortable—but he had done everything he could to make it better. He had even offered to help her out. The least she could do was _try_ to be nice to him, but no, kindness was above the great and powerful Raven.

He was still mentally grumbling to himself when Raven suddenly asked a question. "Why don't you turn into something warmer?"

"Because I walked ten miles today with forty pounds on my back," he replied moodily. He would have left it at that, but she was looking curiously at him, and it wasn't often that Raven looked particularly interested in anything he said. "My body hurts, and it'll only get worse if I start changing."

"Oh," Raven said, frowning speculatively. "I didn't realize that morphing physically affected you. Beside the obvious, I mean."

"It doesn't unless I stay in a form other than human for too long or I'm already sore to begin with," Beast Boy explained with a grimace. A throbbing ache was steadily moving up his back, and he was sure the _pop_ his knees would make if he tried to stand up would echo across the valley. "I could still change if I wanted to, but I'd feel even worse tomorrow if I spent the night as something else."

She nodded in understanding, and Beast Boy figured that the conversation was over until the dark girl spoke up again. "But—a second ago, you offered to change into a bear," Raven pointedly reminded him.

Beast Boy shrugged, wrapping his arms tighter around his legs. "Yeah, well, I figured you were cold. I didn't know you had your super-special cloak of warmth with you."

"So…you're just going to sit there and shiver?"

"Yes," the green teen answered dully. He hoped it was actually later than he thought it was and that morning wasn't too far off. If it was, life was certainly going to suck tomorrow morning. Thanks to the cold, the soreness in his limbs was going to be twice as bad, and even hiking around without his pack would be a nightmare. The muddy terrain would probably make the trek even more difficult, and even if the clouds had cleared up pretty quickly, Beast Boy knew that, with his recent luck, another torrential downpour was probably in the cards. Plus, Raven had never been a figurative happy camper so he highly doubted spending what was sure to be a sleepless night without a tent would turn her into a literal one. She'd probably blame him for everything, too, which would only make their strained friendship even worse.

Beast Boy was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't noticed Raven was talking to him until a pebble encased in black energy smacked him in the ear. "Ow! Dammit, Raven, what was _that_ for?"

"That was for not paying attention when I'm telling you to get over here," she said impatiently, holding her arm out expectantly.

For the second time that evening, Beast Boy found himself gaping at her. "Um…what?"

Raven rolled her eyes. "Once again, Beast Boy, you have excellent hearing. There is no need for me to repeat myself."

Cautiously, the changeling inched closer to his teammate until her arm and the blanket were wrapped awkwardly but securely around his shoulders. The effect wasn't immediate and the blanket was just barely large enough to shelter them both, but it was not long before most of the chill in him to fade away. Feeling a great deal more comfortable but still quite wary, he moved until he could lean his side against hers. He half-expected her to shove him away then but was relieved that she didn't. When she leaned back against him, however, his relief accelerated into shock.

"Why're you doing this?" Beast Boy asked suddenly.

For a split-second, she fixed him with an unnamable look that made his stomach flip, but it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared, and in its place was a smirk. "Your teeth were chattering. It was obnoxious."

The changeling stared at her before laughing. "That wasn't nice, Rae."

"I'm not nice, Beast Boy." But her smirk had already softened into something gentler. He'd never seen her look at him like that before, and the night was suddenly a bit warmer. Maybe Raven thought so, too, because she continued with, "Things have been…tense between us lately."

"A little," he conceded, not wanting to upset her or ruin the moment. He was actually a little proud of himself that he could now recognize that they were in the middle of a moment.

"I know Cyborg and Starfire talked to you about that. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I know they were trying to tell me something." And then he felt the moment turn awkward, because the question was there, hanging in the air above them, and someone was going to have to address it. She had started this conversation, but it only seemed fair to let her know he wanted to have it, wherever it led them. "Uh. Are you going to tell me what they wanted me to know?"

Hesitance flitted across her face before he felt her shoulders square against his. "I care about you, Gar," she said and the fact that she used his real name told him just how serious this was. "And…not just as a friend."

Beast Boy blinked. "Oh." His brain seemed to clunk audibly into place, and a lot of things—not everything, because he doubted he would ever completely understand the girl next to him—about Raven and the way she'd been acting made sudden, disorienting sense. "_Oh_."

"Yes."

"Really?"

"I'm just as surprised as you are, Garfield." That might have been a dig at him, but he let it go. There were more important things to consider.

Like the fact that Raven had feelings for him. He was reasonably sure that particular realization was going to be taking up most of his thoughts for a long time.

"Have you really not noticed?"

"Remember my general obliviousness?" Beast Boy felt that warm feeling all over again, especially when the corners of her lips quirked up. "But no, I just…I never thought about us, I guess."

"You didn't?"

His smile turned a bit embarrassed. "Fine, maybe sometimes. But then I'd think there was no way because I'm me and you're…well, you." Something like hurt flashed across her face, and he rushed to continue. "I'm complimenting you, Rae. Or at least, I'm trying to. I think I'm failing."

She looked down at the mushy ashes but her voice was affectionate. "I might be willing to give you another chance."

"Okay." He inhaled and then exhaled—and then inhaled again. "Okay. You're amazing, and I more than like you, and—I want to take you out."

"I would like that."

The lamp only produced a dim light, but he had good vision even in relative darkness. He caught the smile on Raven's face as well as something else. Beast Boy nudged her gently. "Hey, Rae, you're not blushing, are you?"

"Beast Boy, if you think it's cold out here, how cold do you imagine that lake we passed on the trail is?" He had no doubts she could teleport him to it.

"Shutting up."

The silence was far, far less suffocating this time. Eventually, he worked up the courage to place an arm around her shoulders. When she accepted it—with a raised eyebrow and tiny smirk in his direction, of course—he felt like the strangeness of the last few months meant nothing. How could it, when Raven actually took the initiative to lean more firmly against him?

And Beast Boy couldn't help but grin when she asked, "So…where's the North Star again?"

After another hour of looking, he still couldn't get her to see where the damn north star was—wasn't she usually more observant than this?—but it didn't bother him as much as it had before. He was discovering that there was something nice about sharing a blanket, the ground, and the sky with Raven.

They weren't going to get much sleep tonight, and morning was still a few hours off.

Beast Boy didn't mind the wait.


	51. How?

**A/N:** I blame this completely on New Years Eve, copious amounts of vodka, and finding out that there is actually a heroine named Squirrel Girl. Her power? Commanding large armies of—wait for it—squirrels. Seriously.

So, I thought, well, if anything's possible…and then this happened.

Heh. Sorry.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned them, we'd still have a show.

081. How?

Robin stared at the screen, and when blinking a few times did not make the image go away, he shut his eyes very, very tightly. He then decided that he was going to count to ten, and when he opened his eyes again, reality would have reasserted itself into proper working order, and this would all be nothing more than a stress-induced hallucination.

Once he reached ten, the Boy Wonder let out the breath he'd been holding and opened his eyes to see that the situation had not changed in the slightest. He wasn't entirely surprised by this—after all, it was never easy to be a Teen Titan, and they had all long ago accepted the difficulties attached to their profession—but it was still disappointing. And utterly ridiculous.

Somewhere, Batman was laughing at him. Robin was sure of it.

Raven, on the other hand, had skipped shock and gone straight to irritation. "This is _not possible_."

"I believe it is." The dark girl turned her scowl toward Starfire, who smiled apologetically. "Forgive me, friend—I, too, find the situation incredible. But, as it _is_ the reality, perhaps we should simply concentrate upon how this occurred, yes?"

"We can worry about _that_ after we deal with _this_," Cyborg said, shaking his head. He waved a hand at the Common Room's communication/television screen. "This is just…man, there are no words!"

"Oh, I think there are."

Robin glanced at Beast Boy and was hardly surprised to see the changeling was wearing a large, smug smile. "Beast Boy, don't say it."

"Oh, no. No, no, _no_. I have waited years for this. _Years_, Rob. There is no way you guys are getting off without an I-told-you-so." Beast Boy looked positively gleeful. "I _deserve_ this moment, dude, and you can't take it from me."

The Boy Wonder sighed and, knowing he would never be able to convince his teammate otherwise, settled for rubbing his temples to forestall his on-coming migraine. "Fine. Get it over with."

There was a pause—the others imagined he wanted to savor this moment—before: "Ha! I told you! I told you all for years, didn't I? And you guys kept saying it was impossible, and I was an idiot but _ha_! Who was right?" The green Titan looked expectantly at his friends. "C'mon, guys, tell me who was right."

"You were." The chorus of voices was resigned but clear.

Smug smile intact, Beast Boy cocked his head toward the only member of his team who had remained silent. She was still glaring at the screen as if it had personally offended her. "Rae, I didn't hear you."

His statement was followed by yet another pause, though the other Titans had a feeling the Azarathian was less savoring the situation and more reminding herself that homicide was punishable by law.

"Raven…?" There was a definite sing-song quality in Beast Boy's voice.

"_Fine_. You were right."

"Yes. Yes, I was." The changeling was still clearly pleased with himself as he ushered his friends to the door. "Now, let's go stop the gerbil commandos from taking over the city."


End file.
